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 Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 1:44 pm
Happiness
Happiness is an eagle, soaring through the sky.
Happiness is a smile that will never ever lie.
Happiness is the reason to life, the will to learn and grow;
A fountain of pure laughter and strength that will never cease to flow.
Happiness is not some fancy goods, sitting on a shelf.
Its the source of joy in living that comes from deep inside yourself.
This is a poem I wrote about my thoughts on happiness. What do you think?
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 1:22 pm
What does everyone else think about happiness?
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:25 am
I thought it was very good, but need a comma or something to seperate all the different ideas of happiness mentioned in the poem.
I would go into a long rant about what happiness is to me if I had more time, but to put it simply- the anti-loneliness xp
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:49 pm
I thought it was a very good poem. Inventive rhyme and a genuine flow to it. But, it lacked a little something in the words. It's a minor gripe, but I thought you could have used a bit more clever wordage.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 7:57 am
Yeah, it rhymes, and has an equal metric beat. Although the theme does seem a little bias and lacking important describtion, I feel.
For example you say happiness is an eagle soaring throuhg the sky, yet eagles have many connotations which haven't been alluded to here. (I can get deep sometimes.)
But all in all a nice simple poem. Brava
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 1:19 pm
Queeny Yeah, it rhymes, and has an equal metric beat. Although the theme does seem a little bias and lacking important describtion, I feel.For example you say happiness is an eagle soaring throuhg the sky, yet eagles have many connotations which haven't been alluded to here. (I can get deep sometimes.)But all in all a nice simple poem. Brava Thanks for the feedback. biggrin The part where it says happiness is an eagle soaring through the sky is more of a description of emotion, and meant to get more of an initial feeling, than to be a perfect analogy, or something you can dig into really deeply.
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Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:01 pm
Cereah I thought it was very good, but need a comma or something to seperate all the different ideas of happiness mentioned in the poem. I would go into a long rant about what happiness is to me if I had more time, but to put it simply- the anti-loneliness xp Anti-loneliness is defenitly a part of happiness. 3nodding I put in some commas and periods, is it easier to read?
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Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:02 pm
Cereah I thought it was very good, but need a comma or something to seperate all the different ideas of happiness mentioned in the poem. I would go into a long rant about what happiness is to me if I had more time, but to put it simply- the anti-loneliness xp Anti-loneliness is definitly a part of happiness. 3nodding I put in some commas and periods now. Is it easier to read?
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Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 10:00 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:46 pm
That's really good! I wrote a poem as an assignment in school about hatred that was really similar to this once. I'm a pretty happy person so it comes harder to me to describe the genuinly good feeling. . . I don't know. . . that doesn't make sense, but, oh well. I found it easier to write about hatred. Maybe I'll post it here sometime if I can find it.
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Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 7:22 am
Merenwen99 That's really good! I wrote a poem as an assignment in school about hatred that was really similar to this once. I'm a pretty happy person so it comes harder to me to describe the genuinly good feeling. . . I don't know. . . that doesn't make sense, but, oh well. I found it easier to write about hatred. Maybe I'll post it here sometime if I can find it. I'd like to hear it. biggrin Yeah, I'm usually happy too, but sometimes I just look around and feel so happy, you know? Like everything is so perfect because it is so imperfect and you just feel so proud of everyone around you for no reason? Does that sound weird? xd Anyway, that's the feeling I was trying to write about.
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Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 9:01 am
Grita Merenwen99 That's really good! I wrote a poem as an assignment in school about hatred that was really similar to this once. I'm a pretty happy person so it comes harder to me to describe the genuinly good feeling. . . I don't know. . . that doesn't make sense, but, oh well. I found it easier to write about hatred. Maybe I'll post it here sometime if I can find it. I'd like to hear it. biggrin Yeah, I'm usually happy too, but sometimes I just look around and feel so happy, you know? Like everything is so perfect because it is so imperfect and you just feel so proud of everyone around you for no reason? Does that sound weird? xd Anyway, that's the feeling I was trying to write about. No, that doesn't sound wierd. I know exactly what you mean! If I can find that poem I wrote I'll be sure to post it.
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Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:42 am
Great, I'll look forward to seeing it. biggrin
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