Welcome to Gaia! ::

i thought i should just let y'all know.

but since you're here i guess i should let you know a little bit about myself. first of all im not gary. gary is one of my friends that suck so basically im using this name to prove a point.

im jobless at the moment and wish to find one very soon or my life's going to suck more than what it does now. (and it sucks a lot right now what with the harsh realization of life and lack of money) but im trying my best not to let me down.

'Ello.

I'm very sorry to hear that your life sucks. crying

well i've been gone for a week but since you've ask i'll give y'all one of the things that's currently sucking in my life:

(from one of my blogs)

*sigh* i don't know what to do. im basically stuck with thinking about what i should do and my mom is playing a mind game with me. i want to join the navy with my friend jonathan and at first i was all "hey, this'll be fun." but yesterday him and i went to see a recruiter. then i realize i had to tell my mom and i was pretty sure she wasn't going to take it well cuz she's so damn paraniod (see "night time sucks" and "night time suck part 2: more than ever! rated "R" for more details) so i told her than she started crying and if there's one thing i don't like seeing it's when my mom cries. so at first she's saying no and all that bullshit then she calls everyone to tell them i want to join the navy then my dad comes over and talks to me.

also before i went to see the recruiter i've been having a battle between light and darkness in my head. one voice is saying "it'll be good for you and you'll get to see the world" then the other one is saying "don't do it! you don't know if you'll come back!" crap like that has been going on back and forth for about a month. but after i talk to my mom and dad they said i could go but they were all crying like if i wasn't going to comeback and cuz s**t like that happened the darkness took over. so i've been doing some heavy thinking last night and this morning trying to repair the damage the darkness did. later i went to see the recruiter again with jonthan and my tio who has been in the navy for 21 years. well, i got my confidents back. i got to go back there tomorrow to go take the test and i told my mom but what does she do? her and the darkness destroy everything in my head. so now im back into the state of depression and confussion. yesterday my mom said i should wait a week before signing so i still got sometime to get things figured out.

*sigh* i need to do somemore thinking....