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 Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:04 am
I just wanted a place to discuss book ideas. I'm writing a book with my friend called Unforgiven Sins. I'm going to give you a basic summary.
Its about two young half vampires, Kellendros and Korena. They are twins, but were separated at birth because they were too powerful together. So Korena lives with their vampiric mother, and Kellendros lives with their father.
Their happy childhoods end at the age of ten. At the age of 10, Kellendros is sent to an under 11 tournament. The tournament is attacked by vampires and everyone is put into vampiric slavery. Korena is at home at the age of 10. The town is attacked by her father's rival, Dojario. Her father and mother are murdered in front of her.
Korena spends the next 8 years living with their Uncle Esser and their younger sister. Kellendros stays in vampiric captivity for 3 years. Then she escapes after being raped. She is raped by none other than the son of Dojairo, Sergio.
Kellendros dedicates her life to saving humans from vampiric attacks, and to avenging her and her parents. Korena dedicates her life to avenging her parents.
At the age of 18, Kellendros and Korena meet for the first time. Korena and her group of friends are fighting off a group of vampires. One of those vampires is Gabriel, Kellendros's target. So Kellendros joins the fight and kills Gabriel. During the fight however, she takes 4 arrows, and blacks out. Luckily, the fight occured close to Uncle Esser's house, so Korena takes her there. And that's where the story is told.
So... constuctive critism?
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Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:04 pm
Make it more descriptive..like more complex words
Love the names! blaugh
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 6:23 am
It's a bit funny sounding, I think you should try and make it simpler or maybe that's just me. Anyway, which one's the main character? Thought it was Kellendors but... I dunno.
Anyhow currently I'm doing a zaney story about faeries. The main character is a girl called Strawberry Eclair and she's being forced to work for a human so she can get her magical faerie powers back.
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:09 pm
It's seems like a typical overdone story, to be honest- without the vampires and other elements you added, of course. Twins seperated at birth, and such- it just doesn't appeal to me... at least not right now.
I have two novels im working on- depending on my mood. Heres the conception of both. And eys I know either may be cliche or overdone. =)
1. "The Life and Times..."
This story is generally about a band in a smal ltown who eventually make it big. The story would deal with not the band itself, as the conception isn't done often in novels- I plan on makign hte oh-so obvious struggles and conflcits with other bandmates, drugs, life issues, and what-have you in this one to make a mdoern day story one could relate to.
2. "Through Fire and Flames" (Working Title)
This story is a historical fiction that takes place in the American Revolutionary War, and the story of a loyal servant under the British law: that sneaks into the Continental Army-- kind of to infiltrate it, and assasinate the generals itself to give England an easy victory... however his plans don't go quite well.
TFaF is the one Im really drafting, but criticsm on either is fine.
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:31 pm
Well, I've been toying with a little idea for a while, but it doesn't seem to be enough to make a story out of. i'm just wondering if i should fuse it with another syory i've created or not. ther's not even enough for a summary!just a character idea that sticks and a nutty set of religion that revoves around 1 people. tell if you want me to put it up, okay, cause otherwise you'll just have to guess.
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:00 pm
Well, I like to let my stories just develop as it comes to me rather than creating outlines ahead of time, so it usually ends up pretty unpredictable, even for myself. XD
But currently I'm working on something that doesn't even have a working title yet. As usual I've developed a very unique world, something of a plot, and a lacking of realistic characters.
Basically the book is set in Rhivia, a kingdom that's government, although a monarchy, centers on guilds. Each person decides what guild they'd like to join at the age of 20, leaves their home to find a place in that guild. Their guild choice is dependent on their likes and dislikes, and ensures that everyone will get a job they want. There's no one who's starving in Rhivia, as each can secure themselves a place in their chosen guild, which by the enforcement of the King's army, must provide food and gold to live on as well as a roof to live under, if a poor one, and ensure each person a place in their guild. It is set up that those lower skilled in the guild's craft will take the least important, less well-paying, more frequent jobs in the craft, and those most skilled will get the great-paying, but less frequent tasks, which will make their overall gold to buy things with somewhat equal, provided each manage their gold correctly. The guilds have more intricate details, but I don't want to make a reallllly long post about it all and bother you here.
The kingdom is placed on a giant, unrealistic mesa, with the main city at the top, and farmland spread about the incredibly gentle slopes.
An important part of Rhivian culture, is the formal wear, surprisingly. They have this thing with a complicated name that eludes me at the moment that is pretty much a white cloth which wraps around the waist of a lady's dress or sews on to the back of a man's vest, as well as patches showing the following icons on the front of his vest. The patch on his left, viewers' right, would show what god he was devoted to. The main god I've created in Rhivia is a fire god of sorts, fairly primitive and ununique, I know. So most of the icons will be of three sticks of fire wood, in a priestess's case, the wood would be burning. Then to the right of that item, left of the viewer, is the emblem of their guild, whatever it may be.
The King in unison with the church, with a high priestess of equal power at his side, advising him in his matters of state as he advised her in hers. It's kind of funny that I created a society so devoted to religion, since I myself am an athiest. Oh well.
But about a decade before the time frame of the story, the high priestess died without naming an heir to take her place, so the kingdom was left without their high priestess, and the King did a good job of taking this in stride and calming the people.
In the first chapter, which I'm debating turning into a prologue, you meet a mercenary, the first of a new batch that's all female, and uses that to their advantage. (Enemies go easy on them, don't want to hurt a girl, ect.) They're more agile and find it easy to gain information than the male mercenaries, and have been trained as an elite fighting force, the mercenary guild's newest weapon. The guild also doubles as a guild of spies and assassins, which they have been well-trained in as well as the usual battle fare. So this girl is Zia, an orphan (Bleagh for over used plot lines... >>) who has been brought up by the guild, which expands even past Rhivia. The guild hears rumors that the King wishes their assistance, and Zia, who really has nothing else to do at this fairly peaceful time under this King's rule, is sent to check it out. She storms into the castle alone, threatening every protesting guard with the wrath of the mercenary guild. The King is amused with it all, and has this suspicious priestess in attendence, though he himself is fooled by her ruses. She will of course be a villain later, though at this point in the story you really don't know that. After a long dialogue, Zia discovers that the King would like to find a new high priestess, and wishes to hire in the mercenary guild's help. Zia protests that that is not a job for the mercenaries, it's not what they do. The King says oh well, my own soldiers are unfit, and I've had them be searching, mercenaries are trained to fill the capacity of a soldier, therefore you're fit for it, blah blah blah.
The next chapter skips to a rebellious mute girl from the third person limited narration of her older brother, with fairly uneventful contents, though I tried to make them humerous. Yep. That's basically it. That's written down. Most of the book, about 3/4 of basic and intricate plot line are scrambled about my head and are yet to be written down. And I've taken up enough space, too much info that no one will read anyway, I'm sure. ;>>
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 6:45 pm
First off your idea sounds cool.
Second, mine is not so much a book as a collection of short stories penned by me. I don't do long plots, mostly because I never finish them. I must have like 12 unfinsihed books on my computer. I have several short stories that are actually DONE though. So when I get enough of them together I'm going to try and get published.
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:27 pm
I'm just not good at writing short stories. Every time I try and write one, it unexpectedly expands into this loooong novel. ;>>
I know what you mean though, I have a dozen unfinished novels on my computer. Come to think of it, I don't think I've finished even one. XD I've come close though, and that's what my stories always end up being anyway, so I really find it pointless to try and write shorts. My school essays were always five pages longer than they were supposed to be, it's just the way I write. Amazingly through all that writing is no repetition. =S
Anyway, the one story I successfully made short was surprisingly sci-fi, a genre I really don't like at all, to write or to read. It was stock full of social commentary too, something I try and refrain from saying/writing, as I usually end up rambling on about it. It's funny how things work out. XD
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Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:23 am
I'm attempting to write a book about a girl who has the power to identify and fight of these evil creatures I made up. I cant tell much because I dont want to spoil it. twisted
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