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CelesteSilverfang Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:10 pm
Title: Echoes Author: Silverfang Rating: PG-13
~Echoes~
And there's so many echoes.
She could cover her ears, but they aren't the kind of echoes that shake your eardrums.
They're the kind that break your mind and shatter your soul.
She wonders if people know what she means, but it doesn't really matter.
And there's so many.
She stares at the production of such an echo. He sits next to her at the table, hair dangling in his dark eyes; and he's so beautiful, to be such a work of such terrible pain. He goes home to a father who beats him and a mother who doesn't care. And she knows what that feels like; more than he realizes. She told him once that she would kill them if they hurt him. She hopes he never realizes that she meant it.
She remembers the time she almost saw him cry because of the man who should have loved him. It was after she had finished crying herself, and the look on his face was so heartwrenching that she almost cried again. She sat with him until the bell rang, longing to say something, ANYTHING, that might make it better, but the words wouldn't come.
She settled for the tiniest hug she could give, so she'd have time to escape before her eyes flooded again.
And the echo of that moment haunts her even now-
-for she loves him.
And isn't it sad?
The reason she cried for herself was because of a boy who broke her heart every day for months. She cries as she writes this, because, as strong as she can pretend to be, when she uses words, there can be no inhibition; no lie to make it seem like it's all okay. For those few brief moments, she can let the happy illusion fail.
That boy...damn him to hell. He broke her from the moment she laid eyes on him. Every moment was a step to heartbreak. Every person who told them that they were perfect was another nail in their coffin. Every tear she cried, every kiss she gave, and every word he said were all something that so obviously now deters her happiness.
She told her friends that she was just about ready to change her sexuality, but what she really meant was that she was ready to take a blade to her wrist and press.
The echoes that stirred that have since died down.
And now she's left with the product of an echo.
The one she had watched and had longed to hold was now happy. She wonders if she had just let it die instead of fighting so hard for something that died anyway...would he be hers?
For the sake of confusion, she calls him "Aiden", because that's the only name for him that fits.
He says he can't die; he always says something reckless before it, or recants the time he walked across a highway with his eyes closed and didn't quite make it.
She remembers his namesake, who said the same thing...who now lies beneath the soil in another demension, in another time; in another life. And perhaps that's why it's so sad; because he was her lover. She doesn't know how to explain that her dead best friend never existed on this plane, so she can't explain why she's so experienced in love after having only one relationship.
So she stares at him. Maybe an echo would force them together...and maybe it would force them apart.
And he seems so happy...so damned happy, when he talks about the girl who makes his world complete...and he can't see how much that kills her...he can't see the look on her face when he talks about himself...and he just can't see...
There was a time when she made herself stop loving him. He was too perfect, too soon, and too much in the wrong time. She had so much control over herself, and now it's all spiraling downward. If they saw her mind, she would be dead. She wonders, but doesn't know what to feel.
She used to love the feel of the car speeding down the highway, but, as everything else, it seems so out of control. Everything's falling apart around her, like a book without a spine.
She stares at nothing now...but they call it her reflection.
The mirror is an antique...
She smiles at the irony; her soul is an antique as well.
But the glass breaks so easily beneath her hands.
And tomorrow, she wonders if he'll see the shattered pieces of her soul in her eyes. She wonders if he'll finally see, or if he already has. She wonders if he'll finally see how much she loves him...
But echoes can't see, can they...
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 3:47 am
eep! i gotta go i'll miss the bus but i'll read it when i get time after school 3nodding
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CelesteSilverfang Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:39 pm
egypt_sand eep! i gotta go i'll miss the bus but i'll read it when i get time after school 3nodding XD <3 kk
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:22 pm
crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down ><
but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart
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CelesteSilverfang Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:33 pm
egypt_sand crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down >< but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart gonk Well, I suppose it's good that you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry. sad emo *glomps you*
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:16 pm
CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down >< but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart gonk Well, I suppose it's good that you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry. sad emo *glomps you* XDD tis okay i needed the emotional let out confused if that makes sence...
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CelesteSilverfang Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:47 pm
egypt_sand CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down >< but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart gonk Well, I suppose it's good that you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry. sad emo *glomps you* XDD tis okay i needed the emotional let out confused if that makes sence... It does. :3
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:36 am
CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down >< but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart gonk Well, I suppose it's good that you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry. sad emo *glomps you* XDD tis okay i needed the emotional let out confused if that makes sence... It does. :3 good, like i once said "i have so many things to say, that when i go to put them into words they dont come out right" confused at least something like that XDDD
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CelesteSilverfang Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:11 pm
egypt_sand CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down >< but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart gonk Well, I suppose it's good that you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry. sad emo *glomps you* XDD tis okay i needed the emotional let out confused if that makes sence... It does. :3 good, like i once said "i have so many things to say, that when i go to put them into words they dont come out right" confused at least something like that XDDD :3 I know what you mean. XDD emo
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:57 pm
CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand CelesteSilverfang egypt_sand crying crying it made me cry- which is a bad thing cause my brothers are in the next room and if they see they'll never let me live it down >< but i love the descriptions 3nodding heart gonk Well, I suppose it's good that you liked it, but I'm sorry I made you cry. sad emo *glomps you* XDD tis okay i needed the emotional let out confused if that makes sence... It does. :3 good, like i once said "i have so many things to say, that when i go to put them into words they dont come out right" confused at least something like that XDDD :3 I know what you mean. XDD emo ^^
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