At Flaming Snowball, the new bartender Alice is already wiping down the bar top. Ivan waves to her as he walks towards his office. Max sits down on a barstool as Chris sighs, walking to the bar.
Max: I’m Max, what’s your name?
Alice: The name’s Alice, and you are?
Chris: I’m Chris, the head bartender.
Alice: Oh, so I guess we will be working together.
Chris: Yeah…
Alice: Oh good, I hope we'll become good friends.
Chris: Uh-huh.
After a few hours, Chris starts to laugh and talk to Alice as they clean up the bar.
Alice: Lila was a riot, Gramps was pissed.
Chris: Oh, I can imagine.
Alice: So Chris, is there anything I should know about the owners?
Chris: Well you can probably already guess that Ivan is some-what –
Alice: Moody?
Chris: Eh, kind of… more of a jerk than anything.
Alice: And Max?
Chris: He’s generally hyper and happy but I guess he’s just really tired today.
Alice: Oh, I see…
Biff walks into the bar, Alice and Chris wave to Biff.
Alice: Hey Biff, remember me?
Biff: Oh hey, Alice.
Chris: Hey, where did you go last night?
Biff: Work.
Suddenly, Max tackles Biff to the floor and presses his own nose to Biff’s.
Max: Where were you?
Biff: I got a call, you were already asleep so I just left.
Max sniffles, Alice gets a sweat drop.
Alice: Eh…
Max: I was cold and lonely last night.
Biff: Aww, I’m sorry…
Biff sits up and kisses Max on the lips, Max blushes. Alice’s hair sticks out and Chris pats Alice on her shoulder.
Chris: Didn’t mention he was Max’s boyfriend, I suppose?
Alice: No, he just said friend… damn, taken.
Chris: I thought he was hot too but he likes his young and ballsy.
Alice snickers, Chris smiles and sighs. Biff carries Max back into the lounge room.
Alice: Well, interesting morning.
Chris: Yes, indeed it has been.
There’s an erupt of laughter from the lounge, Chris grins.
Chris: Never question, never look, you’ll be fine.
Alice: Kay.
A week had passed since Alice was working at Flaming Snowball. Chris was putting up glasses as Alice was sitting out bowls of mixed nuts.
Alice: I know it’s only been a week since I’ve been working here, but it sure is slow… even night seems to be quiet.
Chris: We’re just not in our hay day…
Alice: I wonder why Ivan even hired me…
Chris: Wishful thinking…
Alice: Hmmm?
Ivan comes down from his office, grumbling.
Chris: Where are you going?
Ivan: Left papers at home… and Max’s stupid bunny.
Max shouts from the office.
Max: It’s not stupid! It brings good luck!
Ivan: Whatever… I’ll be back.
Walking out of the bar, Ivan bumps into Biff and grumbles. Biff grins and goes into the bar. Max runs down to Biff.
Max: You don’t think my bunny I gave to Ivan was stupid, do you?
Biff: No, it was a good luck plushie.
Max: Yay! Can we go eat now?
Biff: Sure.
Max takes Biff’s sleeve and skips as they walk out the door. Alice giggles.
Alice: Too cute.
Chris: Poor Ivan, he’s going to be a grinch this Christmas too.
Alice: Why?
Chris: Well, he sent a letter months ago to –
Outside Flaming Snowball, a RV crashes into a telephone. Ren the driver smacks his face on the steering wheel.
Ren: ********! MY NOSE!
Greg: Haha, you get that for insulting Cheft!
Ren: ******** your dog and ******** you too!
Kiwi: I didn’t know you swung that way and did dogs!
Ren: What! No!
Goukai and Alex look out the window of the RV and read the sign: “Flaming Snowball.”
Goukai: Eh… Ork must have picked this place out.
Alex: I think I’m going to keep to myself tonight…
Ork comes up behind Alex and grabs him.
Ork: All, don’t want any loving Alex?
Alex jumps back.
Alex: Aren’t you married! Hey, and I’m married too!
Ork: So?
Goukai: Think of the children…
Ork: Damn it… why did you have to get Miss Chi impregnated!
Alex: What?
Ork: And you Goukai – I’m just disgusted with you.
Minna knocks Ork in the head.
Minna: Knocking me up was how our love tied together, besides, my children our beautiful.
Goukai: Eh, why put it that way? I would have married you before I got you pregnant…
Alex: Not to mention she came onto you that night… a surprise that morning was.
Ork: I blame you two for having unsafe sex.
Minna: Oh, it was safe - Goukai’s Super Sperm.
Goukai gets a sweat drop, Ork starts to whine.
Ork: Stop teasing me, I miss my Zeke…
Goukai: And I miss having –
Minna jumps on Goukai’s back.
Minna: We’ve been busy with work, but after tonight’s show we can get a cheap hotel room! Or a love suite with one of them Jacuzzis… and we don’t have to share!
Goukai: Yes!
Alex and Ork both stare at Minna and Goukai.
Alex & Ork: Must be good…
Ed hangs up his cell phone and sighs.
Ed: Okay, listen up everybody. I just got off the phone with Usagi – eh, she said that Larry said that this place Flaming Snowball is just like his place and we’ll have a great time. Blah blah blah… Oh, and who wants to apologize to the owner for Larry wasn’t able to get a response back to him?
Everyone but Ed shrugs.
Ed (Mumbles): Why do I have to do everything…
The two bands, Wild Wingz – Minna (Vocals), Goukai (Guitar), Alex (Bass), Greg (Drums) and Nobody’s Orka – Ork (Vocals), Ed (Guitar), Ren (Bass), Kiwi (Drums), walk out of the RV and go into Flaming Snowball. Minna waves.
Minna: HI EVERYBODY!
Chris drops a glass, Alice blinks.
Alice: Is that…
Chris: Minna Zea of the Wild Wingz!
Ork: Oh-oh, no one cares about the gay guy from Nobody’s Orka!
Minna: It’s okay, you’ll have your man when you get home.
Ork: I better…
Chris: What are you doing here?
Ed: Ahem, Larry was sorry for never responding to Mr. Ruby’s letter, his wife Usagi was causing him a bit of trouble…
Ren: Why I’m not getting married!
Greg: Loser.
Ren: Loser! At least I don’t look like a chick!
Ed: SHUT UP! Anyway, we’ll be playing the Christmas Concert here tonight.
Alice: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU FOR REAL!
Goukai: Fan girl alert…
Alex: Get the spray bottle…
Chris: Eh… this is great but… there are no flyers or anything…
Minna: We can fix that.
Chris: Hm?
Minna: TO THE COPY STORE!
Chris: Wait – the owner, well head owner, doesn’t know that you’ve come either.
Ork: Guess we’ll just have to visit him.
Chris: And we’re not set-up…
Alice: Chris! Stop being so negative!
Minna: Okay, it’s settled! Me and Ork are off to get the owner and make copies while everyone else fixes this place up!
Chris: What?
Goukai: I’ll get the equipment…
Kiwi: I guess I could decorate...
Minna: Well, see ya!
Minna grabs Ork and runs out the door. Chris gets a sweat drop.
Chris: But she doesn’t know where he lives…
Goukai: Oh, she has her ways.
Ed: It pays to be the Wind Elf.
Alice: Hi, I’m Alice!
Alex: Heh, and I’m Alex.
Ren: He’s married you know!
Kiwi yanks Ren’s ear.
Kiwi: He’s not flirting you jealous dip stick.
Outside of Flaming Snowball, Minna transforms into the Princess of Dreams. She stretches her angelic wings and flips through her Book of Knowledge. Ork notices a tear on Minna’s long white gown.
Ork: Minna… you’ve got a rip in your dress…
Minna: When you’re fighting monsters and other douche bags all the time, it happens…
Ork: I can get Zeke to fix it.
Minna: Mind if he fixes all my transformation’s clothes?
Ork: He’ll love to do that… he’ll probably want you to model for him too.
Minna: As long as he doesn’t require me to model with these damned wings.. even though I might be all-knowing in this form – these wings piss me off.
Ork: Easy travel though…
Minna: I’ve got Wind Warp…aha! Here we go, Ivan Ruby – 18 Dias Street! Dias? I knew an elf named Dias, he died…
Ork: When was this?
Minna: Dark Night, Lucky was kidnapped, almost died…
Ork: Ah… well, let’s go.
Greg and Ren carry a trunk from the RV to the back stage in Flaming Snowball. Alex explains some plans with Chris. Sitting at the bar; Ed chows down on the mixed nuts as Alice and Kiwi talk. Goukai is on his cell phone speaking to Lucky, his youngest son.
Goukai: Of course she’ll like them, Mom’s love anything their kids give them.
Lucky: Well they don’t like attitudes or smelly socks.
Goukai: Right Lucky, and you’ve got both of them.
Lucky: Do not!
Goukai: I’m joking, go ahead and get them and Zouchey can help you wrap them.
Lucky: Kay… hey dad, what are you up too?
Goukai: We’re setting up stage at a bar...
Lucky: And where’s Mom?
Goukai: With Ork… well, I should be going now Lucky.
Lucky: Okay, love ya Dad!
Goukai: Love you too.
Goukai hangs up his cell phone, Alice and Kiwi both grin at him.
Alice: Who was that?
Goukai: My youngest, Lucky.
Kiwi: He’s so adorable!
Ed: Child molester…
Kiwi gets a pressure point and picks up the bowl of mixed nuts. She smacks Ed with it and he falls off his bar stool.
Kiwi: Annoying!
Goukai: Hm, now that I think about it… what should I get my wife for Christmas, Lucky asked if she’d like a pair of slippers…
Kiwi: Would she?
Goukai: Probably… moms like what kids give them, right?
Kiwi: Why you asking me? I didn’t have a mom and I have no kids!
Alice: Don’t worry, I have a son and I always love what he gets me.
Goukai: Eh… and kids are so picky…
Alice: Eh, yes they are…
Outside of Ivan’s house, Minna turns back into her regular form and rings the doorbell. Ivan gets a pressure point.
Ivan: I bet it’s those damn girl scouts again.
Without even looking, Ivan opens the door.
Ivan: I DON’T WANT ANYMORE DAMN COOKIES!
Minna and Ork blink.
Ork: Minna, he doesn’t want our cookies.
Minna: Well he can’t have my ******** cookies anyway.
Ivan blinks.
Ivan: Oh… it’s you two… eh…
Minna: Hello! I'm Wild Wing Minna and this is Ork from Nobody's Orka!
Ork: And we’re here to play at Flaming Snowball!
Ivan’s ear perks up a bit and he gets a sweat drop.
Ivan: This is unexpected…
Minna: Did you see that?
Ork: Yeah…
Ivan: Hm?
Minna and Ork start touching Ivan’s bunny ears.
Minna: Oh, they’re so soft!
Ork: Cute!
Ivan: Eh…
Minna and Ork both stop.
Ork: Sorry…
Minna: My baby boy has kitty ears and he loves when someone scratches them. But that’s not the point, we’re here to tell you that we’re going to play at your clubhouse!
Ork: I though it was a bar.
Minna: I don’t know what you call it.
Ivan: Eh… you want to come in? It’s kind of cold out…
Ork: Sure!
Minna and Ork walk into Ivan’s house, Ivan shuts the door and they walk into the living room. Minna looks up, her and Ork are standing under the mistletoe.
Minna: Well lookie there, we’re standing under the mistletoe.
Ork: Eh…
Minna: But ha! You can’t kiss these luscious lips cause I’m married!
Ork: And I’m also gay so it really doesn’t matter.
Minna: I bet any straight man would want to!
Ork: Probably, but like you said – you’re married.
Minna: Heh, and if they tried to pull one on me I’d just have to blast them with a flare ball. Oh! Ivan, Larry Usegi wanted to apologize for not responding!
Ivan: Hm?
Minna: See, when he first sent the letter he wasn’t married – but then he got married and his wife…
Ork: Basically took over Wild and Crazy Records.
Minna: But we still wanted to play, and good thing she’s sick! Now we get to play and we get to surprise you all!
Ivan: ...you all aren't going to get in trouble for this gig...right?
Minna: Of course not!
Ivan: All right then...
Ork: Usagi will probably only fire off a couple of rounds until she gets over it.
Ivan: Eh?
Ork: Oh, it’s nothing!
Minna: Still can’t believe a nice guy like Larry married a chick like that.
Ork: Well marriage is always an interesting experience, as we both know.
Minna: Mhmm! Just think, me and Goukai were at each other throats the whole time through high school and now we’re like butter and toast!
Ork: You’re such an idiot…
Minna: Am not! And I’m still pissed about your marriage!
Ork: No one got to go Minna! It was just me and Zeke.
Minna: But still – you didn’t even tell me!
Ork: Will you drop this nonsense, you’re being rude to Mr. Bunny Man.
Minna: Ivan.
Ork: Hm?
Minna: His name is Ivan Ruby.
Ivan gets a sweat drop and scratches his head.
Ivan: Eh… drinks?
Minna: I’d love one!
Ivan goes into the kitchen, his ears perked up listening to Minna and Ork.
Minna: Anyway, even though Larry is such a nice guy I’m sure he married Usagi with good intentions.
Ork: Like a pistol in his mouth…
Minna: Uh… well, you can argue and scream and yell at each other, hell even do the occasional threatening, but in the end – you love each other and understand each other and that’s what makes marriage so great… it like, completes you.
Ork: Funny, I really don’t have those problems with Zeke… just that I can’t keep my boxers lying out all the time.
Minna: Eh, Goukai does that all the time…
Ivan comes back with the drinks. He hands them to Minna and Ork.
Minna: Thanks.
Ork: So Ivan, do you have anyone special in your life?
Minna: Nosey…
Ork: Conservationist.
Ivan: Uh… well…
Minna: Come on, can’t be that hard? High school love perhaps?
Ork: And you call me nosey.
Minna: You got me interested…
Ivan: I guess you could say so… we went to the same high school and I still know her now… she just likes to yell, scream, and hit me a lot.
Minna: True love!
Ork: You’re a bad example for people, you know that?
Minna flicks off Ork, Ivan shakes his head in shame. Back at Flaming Snowball, Goukai has Greg in a leg lock.
Goukai: Gimmie back my pie!
Greg: Nooo! Share damn you!
Goukai: ******** sharing!
Alice gets a sweat drop, Alex sighs.
Alex: They’ve been like this since they were kids.
Alice: Really?
Alex: Yep, raised them both.
Max and Biff walk into the bar, Max looks around and then starts to do flips.
Max: OMG! OMG! IT’S THE WILD WINGZ AND NOBODY’S ORKA!
Ed: Fan boy alert, get the spray bottle.
Biff: Why are they here Chris?
Chris: A while back, Ivan requested them to have a Christmas concert here… boost up the business.
Alice: Is that why I got a job here?
Chris: Yeah…
Biff: Oh, well – cool I guess...
Goukai lets Greg out of the leg lock.
Goukai: I recognize that voice from somewhere…
Greg jumps up and points to Biff.
Greg: IT’S THE FOX!
Goukai: NO ******** WAY!
Greg turns into his demon form and Goukai takes out his sword.
Goukai: STAB IT IN THE NECK!
Greg: KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Biff: ******** starts whine, everyone else is completely lost.
Max: Why are you trying to hurt Biffy?
Goukai and Greg stare at Max.
Greg: IT’S CUTE LIKE A PUPPY!
Goukai: I bet it’s a robot… you know, like Elsie was…
Greg: She was an android! Remember her boob rockets?
Goukai: Yeah!
Biff: I’ll have you know that he is not a robot.
Greg: Yeah, and you’re really a fox!
Goukai: Well –
Greg: Don’t you well me!
Chris: Umm… what the hell is going on?
Alice: Uh-huh…
Goukai: We know him, he knows us – ACE LIKES ME BETTER.
Biff: FAT CHANCE FAT HEAD!
Greg: She said so herself!
Biff: Bull!
Ace walks into Flaming Snowball reading a map.
Ace: Actually, favorite male character is Lucky, female is Minna. Hm?
Everyone stares at Ace, Ace gets a sweat drop.
Kiwi: The Goddess?
Ace: ********, this isn’t Georgia! Bye!
Biff: Wait –
Ace disappears, Biff gets annoyed.
Biff: WHAT THE ******** IS GOING ON!
