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Miss Grimm
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:37 pm


The simple story of a simple girl doing a simple mission.

All I require are simple comments on how to get better... simply put.
PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:58 pm


"Oh~ heart
You're such a great writer...marry me!" heart

Ryukinzo
Crew


Miss Grimm
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:59 pm


Ryukinzo
"Oh~ heart
You're such a great writer...marry me!" heart
redface gonk Damnit, Ryu!

... Arigatou.

Anyone going to tell me what I did wrong? I know I did something...
PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:02 pm


eh, as far as i can tell, it was awesome blaugh

Kazuma Hero


Rednal

9,150 Points
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:44 pm


You didn't make the character suffer enough. ^^ When characters have misfortune and trouble, people seem to like them better... Failure is good, too.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 9:47 pm


"...she didn't even say much though. Give 'er time."
*notices it has been about two months*
"Er uh...wait 'til the next one." *he said nervously*

Ryukinzo
Crew


XxKouenxX
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:36 pm


She seems to be busy lately, though. At least I enjoyed what is there, but she really needs to continue...
PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:57 pm


mrgreen I WAS hoping to surprise ya'll... But I'll have another one up by tomorrow morning. razz

Miss Grimm
Vice Captain


Miss Grimm
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:59 pm


Rednal
You didn't make the character suffer enough. ^^ When characters have misfortune and trouble, people seem to like them better... Failure is good, too.


xD Yeah. Right. I'll totally make my characters go on an emo-fest when I first bring them out. No way, bud.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:15 pm


Who said anything about going emo? *Looks around* Wasn't me. There are other ways of bringing characters misfortune. ^^; Just make them fail.

Rednal

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XxKouenxX
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:27 pm


Well, I think her point was something along the lines of her not wanting to bring something into it that she shouldn't at the beginning. It's not in her writing style, from what I've seen. I've read most of the posts in the villages, and this little girl seems to have a way of thinking that characters are so much better when their hope is estinguished, instead of having them fail miserably for no reason.

Well, my point is, just because the beginning is not flat out crying and self torment, doesn't mean the next parts will not be. Have their hopes built up, then crush them like insects under a boot when they are most high. is best in my opinion.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 5:56 pm


sweatdrop I've been sick, so I can't write... gonk

Miss Grimm
Vice Captain


Rednal

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 6:09 pm


@MissGrimm: It's okay.


@XxKouenxX: I didn't mean crying and torment, either. ^^; I just meant failure, as no matter how hard they try, they don't succeed. They don't need to cry about it; good characters usually try again despite their failures. Naruto, for instance, whom we all should know.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:05 pm


Dude... It's the half way point of the first chapter...

Miss Grimm
Vice Captain

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Ninja Nexus

 
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