Sadly, I'm also hooked on shounen ai. Honest opinions are appreciated.
MatsuL
L liked to base his opinions on people on their opinions of him. To start this game, L would predict their opinions and act accordingly. If they thought he was something, then he was. There was no need to have a unique personality while living in solitude. Of course he had quirks—everyone does—and a personality that came easy as breathing, but adjusting his way of life to fit someone’s opinion of him was not a difficult thing to do.
He had from the beginning assumed that the other members of the Kira investigation viewed him differently. They viewed him as some one sub-human. No: Super-human. He had figured there would be problems with his age, but he had only barely touched on the possibility of his authority being questioned by it. Well… He supposed questioned wasn’t the right word to use in a situation such as this. He hadn’t been expecting them to place him on a level playing field. No longer was he the super-human head of investigation, but just another intelligent young man.
L didn’t particularly care. He felt no need to sit precariously on the edge of a pedestal, or to look down on people he was currently trusting with his very life. What struck him as odd, rather, were the human reactions they expected of him. Never before had he felt so slightly awkward for not responding in an illogical, exaggerated, emotional manner.
It had started very near the beginning of their interaction—when monitors were set up in various officers’ homes. He was in his early twenties, and as such there was no way of ignoring the attractive young daughters dressing for bed. Especially bad was Tanaka-san’s daughter. The woman was engaged (judging from the ring on her finger), and—since she was unaware of the cameras’ existence…
All of the officers working with L had apparently met the woman before, and knew the father well enough. The many different hands that appeared from nowhere to hide his eyes were surprising and mildly irritating. He may have been young, but he wasn’t about to let something so personal hinder his investigation.
That had been a long while ago, but L still thought on it occasionally. Mostly he found himself wondering what it was they were trying to protect him from. He wasn’t completely innocent. Nor was he particularly knowledgeable. He knew how things worked to a level that the others would find rather disturbing. He just lacked the hands-on experience.
They had only recently finished the case involving Kira the Third, and Amane Misa’s inclusion in this brief period of his life left him particularly curious about what details he was missing. What would a girl’s skin feel like when touched for pleasure and not purpose? And what of the skin hidden beneath clothes? From what interaction he had had with Misa and other females, he knew their skin was soft. Misa was cool to the touch, he remembered, and he wondered if all females were that way.
It bothered him. He didn’t like not knowing something the others on the force so obviously considered basic, elementary knowledge.
“Matsuda-san, why are you still here?” The other occupant of the room jumped, rushing over to L’s side and hovering curiously.
“Well, you said someone should stay behind, and I don’t have a family so…” L looked at him quickly in disinterest, pushing aside papers and wrappers and candy to doodle on the table absently. In his mind, he was trying to figure out the possibility of him ever having relations with a member of the opposite sex beyond work.
“No wife?” Matsuda shook his head, confused at where this was going.
‘Don’t tell me even Ryuuzaki’s married!’
“No girlfriend?”
“No,” he answered with dejection, sitting down in a chair nearby and finding and comfortable way to sulk.
“Have you ever had sex before?” The question sounded innocent enough, and L didn’t flinch while asking or even pause in his writing. He didn’t even bother to look up and address Matsuda directly.
“Well… I… Yes, I have, but…” Matsuda was going to ask L what had brought that on when he was interrupted.
“All right.” That was the end of the conversation as far as L seemed concerned. A long while passed in silence as L continued with his formulas (now including data on Matsuda’s age, lack of a permanent relationship at the moment, and the fact that he had indeed had sexual relations with a woman before). Finally Matsuda couldn’t take it any more and he took L’s wrist carefully to keep him from writing any more. It was starting to bother him.
“Why did y—”
“Why is it that people always feel a need to discuss this topic further? I asked a question, I got my answer. There’s nothing more to it,” L said calmly, letting go of the pen and staring up at Matsuda with a far-away expression. “I simply wanted to know.”
“It’s not something people ask on a whim,” Matsuda replied, letting go of L and sitting back down.
“I see. I’m a virgin,” he added. As if it was the most natural conversation to have. Matsuda didn’t say anything, just stared at him and wondered what L was thinking behind that often vacant expression of his. As if reading his thoughts, L began chewing on his thumb and spoke. “I was calculating the possibility that I will die as such. Of course, assuming I live past this investigation.” Matsuda sighed.
“Ryuuzaki, the investigation is alr—”
“The evidence against Light doesn’t just disappear,” L interrupted calmly. “Not yet, anyway. Guilty until proven innocent, I believe you say?” Matsuda didn’t bother, just slinking in his chair.
“Why did you feel a need to ask me?”
“It seems this question always leads to long, pointless discussions. You’re here. That is all.”
“So you’re screwing with my mind just because I’m here!” Matsuda whined, already practically lying in his chair and unable to sink any further. “That’s no fair, Ryuuzaki.”
“I asked you a simple question. All I required was a simple answer.”
Another long silence followed, and Matsuda was starting to wonder if maybe he should just nap like he was. It was late enough to count as early morning by now, and he was tired. While he may not have had a girlfriend, he did still have friends that he had visited the day before. Suddenly another question came to mind.
“So what was the result?” he asked without explanation. He assumed L’s super-genius could comprehend the meaning.
“Positive. While females outnumber males on this planet, the ratio of my encounter with them is somewhere along the lines of one in seventy-six. Estimating from this trend, I will die having met slightly less than ten women assuming I manage to live out an average human lifespan. Which I won’t.”
“What about guys, then? If ten divided by one is… ten. Then ten times… seventy-three—”
“Seventy-six.”
“Right. Seventy-six. It’s still a small number, but much larger than females,” he offered cheerfully, sitting up to emphasize his point and looking much like a child expecting to be praised.
“I’m hardly what gay men find attractive. Why? Are you trying to bed me?” Matsuda couldn’t help but laugh at the way L spoke.
“Perhaps I am. I’d like to think I’m not, but I don’t feel sick at the thought.” L smiled very slightly.
“I suppose that should be taken for reassurance. Very well. I can’t say I’m attracted to either sex, so it doesn’t bother me.” Matsuda laughed in genuine amusement, standing up with great care and listening as the bones in his back cracked a little too loudly for his comfort. L was as good at reassuring others as Matsuda was, it seemed. “Although I will go so far as to say I wouldn’t accept such an offer from the others.” Matsuda rolled his eyes, grabbing L’s wrist again and pulling him up to stand.
“You’re horrible at romance.” As if to challenge the point, L was standing on the chair and kissing Matsuda before Matsuda could react. It was awkward and short and actually rather laughable, but Matsuda found it strangely sweet. Sweet in a way that came with the vacant expression and all-knowing looks of Ryuuzaki and not from the sweets he ate.
He had from the beginning assumed that the other members of the Kira investigation viewed him differently. They viewed him as some one sub-human. No: Super-human. He had figured there would be problems with his age, but he had only barely touched on the possibility of his authority being questioned by it. Well… He supposed questioned wasn’t the right word to use in a situation such as this. He hadn’t been expecting them to place him on a level playing field. No longer was he the super-human head of investigation, but just another intelligent young man.
L didn’t particularly care. He felt no need to sit precariously on the edge of a pedestal, or to look down on people he was currently trusting with his very life. What struck him as odd, rather, were the human reactions they expected of him. Never before had he felt so slightly awkward for not responding in an illogical, exaggerated, emotional manner.
It had started very near the beginning of their interaction—when monitors were set up in various officers’ homes. He was in his early twenties, and as such there was no way of ignoring the attractive young daughters dressing for bed. Especially bad was Tanaka-san’s daughter. The woman was engaged (judging from the ring on her finger), and—since she was unaware of the cameras’ existence…
All of the officers working with L had apparently met the woman before, and knew the father well enough. The many different hands that appeared from nowhere to hide his eyes were surprising and mildly irritating. He may have been young, but he wasn’t about to let something so personal hinder his investigation.
That had been a long while ago, but L still thought on it occasionally. Mostly he found himself wondering what it was they were trying to protect him from. He wasn’t completely innocent. Nor was he particularly knowledgeable. He knew how things worked to a level that the others would find rather disturbing. He just lacked the hands-on experience.
They had only recently finished the case involving Kira the Third, and Amane Misa’s inclusion in this brief period of his life left him particularly curious about what details he was missing. What would a girl’s skin feel like when touched for pleasure and not purpose? And what of the skin hidden beneath clothes? From what interaction he had had with Misa and other females, he knew their skin was soft. Misa was cool to the touch, he remembered, and he wondered if all females were that way.
It bothered him. He didn’t like not knowing something the others on the force so obviously considered basic, elementary knowledge.
“Matsuda-san, why are you still here?” The other occupant of the room jumped, rushing over to L’s side and hovering curiously.
“Well, you said someone should stay behind, and I don’t have a family so…” L looked at him quickly in disinterest, pushing aside papers and wrappers and candy to doodle on the table absently. In his mind, he was trying to figure out the possibility of him ever having relations with a member of the opposite sex beyond work.
“No wife?” Matsuda shook his head, confused at where this was going.
‘Don’t tell me even Ryuuzaki’s married!’
“No girlfriend?”
“No,” he answered with dejection, sitting down in a chair nearby and finding and comfortable way to sulk.
“Have you ever had sex before?” The question sounded innocent enough, and L didn’t flinch while asking or even pause in his writing. He didn’t even bother to look up and address Matsuda directly.
“Well… I… Yes, I have, but…” Matsuda was going to ask L what had brought that on when he was interrupted.
“All right.” That was the end of the conversation as far as L seemed concerned. A long while passed in silence as L continued with his formulas (now including data on Matsuda’s age, lack of a permanent relationship at the moment, and the fact that he had indeed had sexual relations with a woman before). Finally Matsuda couldn’t take it any more and he took L’s wrist carefully to keep him from writing any more. It was starting to bother him.
“Why did y—”
“Why is it that people always feel a need to discuss this topic further? I asked a question, I got my answer. There’s nothing more to it,” L said calmly, letting go of the pen and staring up at Matsuda with a far-away expression. “I simply wanted to know.”
“It’s not something people ask on a whim,” Matsuda replied, letting go of L and sitting back down.
“I see. I’m a virgin,” he added. As if it was the most natural conversation to have. Matsuda didn’t say anything, just stared at him and wondered what L was thinking behind that often vacant expression of his. As if reading his thoughts, L began chewing on his thumb and spoke. “I was calculating the possibility that I will die as such. Of course, assuming I live past this investigation.” Matsuda sighed.
“Ryuuzaki, the investigation is alr—”
“The evidence against Light doesn’t just disappear,” L interrupted calmly. “Not yet, anyway. Guilty until proven innocent, I believe you say?” Matsuda didn’t bother, just slinking in his chair.
“Why did you feel a need to ask me?”
“It seems this question always leads to long, pointless discussions. You’re here. That is all.”
“So you’re screwing with my mind just because I’m here!” Matsuda whined, already practically lying in his chair and unable to sink any further. “That’s no fair, Ryuuzaki.”
“I asked you a simple question. All I required was a simple answer.”
Another long silence followed, and Matsuda was starting to wonder if maybe he should just nap like he was. It was late enough to count as early morning by now, and he was tired. While he may not have had a girlfriend, he did still have friends that he had visited the day before. Suddenly another question came to mind.
“So what was the result?” he asked without explanation. He assumed L’s super-genius could comprehend the meaning.
“Positive. While females outnumber males on this planet, the ratio of my encounter with them is somewhere along the lines of one in seventy-six. Estimating from this trend, I will die having met slightly less than ten women assuming I manage to live out an average human lifespan. Which I won’t.”
“What about guys, then? If ten divided by one is… ten. Then ten times… seventy-three—”
“Seventy-six.”
“Right. Seventy-six. It’s still a small number, but much larger than females,” he offered cheerfully, sitting up to emphasize his point and looking much like a child expecting to be praised.
“I’m hardly what gay men find attractive. Why? Are you trying to bed me?” Matsuda couldn’t help but laugh at the way L spoke.
“Perhaps I am. I’d like to think I’m not, but I don’t feel sick at the thought.” L smiled very slightly.
“I suppose that should be taken for reassurance. Very well. I can’t say I’m attracted to either sex, so it doesn’t bother me.” Matsuda laughed in genuine amusement, standing up with great care and listening as the bones in his back cracked a little too loudly for his comfort. L was as good at reassuring others as Matsuda was, it seemed. “Although I will go so far as to say I wouldn’t accept such an offer from the others.” Matsuda rolled his eyes, grabbing L’s wrist again and pulling him up to stand.
“You’re horrible at romance.” As if to challenge the point, L was standing on the chair and kissing Matsuda before Matsuda could react. It was awkward and short and actually rather laughable, but Matsuda found it strangely sweet. Sweet in a way that came with the vacant expression and all-knowing looks of Ryuuzaki and not from the sweets he ate.
