Welcome to Gaia! ::

(note: I have an anxiety disorder, and I think I suffer from depression as well)

Last night at school (I hang out with some friends after school) I had an anxiety breakdown and started crying. The first time it was because I thought my dad was going to die in a car accident (he's a truck driver) and it was with my art teacher. He attempted to talk to me and all that crap.

Later on I broke down in front of another teacher, and he told me to get counseling. He even recommended some names/places (he's had issues in the past) that I could try.

However, when I came home and suggested this to my parents they basically shrugged it off like it was no big deal. My mother thinks I'll get over all of it, and my dad just doesn't believe my problems are that serious.

Also, they act like if I do get counseling that my problems will get worse and I won't be able to go to college next Fall. They think it's better to ignore problems; that they'll go away by ignoring them.

I don't know what to do, part of me wishes I could get counseling but the other part says I'm being dramatic, and tomorrow I'll feel fine.

That's what I'm starting to think. However, the cost of it is scaring me a bit. I know it's not cheap.

Actually, over the week I decided that I won't get counseling. To hell with it, I can figure things out on my own. biggrin

Yes, everyone has been telling me that (except for my parents, who really don't understand my disorder)
But for some reason I just feel like my problems are so small compared to other people. Y'know.. that I don't deserve help or something.

Eventually I will get counseling, perhaps a few years from now.

You're right, my mind changes its decisions so often, I swear. But, I started thinking about how bad I really was, I mean.. for crying out loud I was having thoughts of killing myself in the school bathroom.

I'm just concerned over the counselor I might talk to. I mean, can they tell my parents things I say? If I tell them my thoughts of suicide... would they tell my parents?

I believe that is only if the threat of suicide is immediate. And it only applys if one is underage. Like if I were under 18 and to speak to my psychiatrist, and tell her that tomorrow at noon I am going to kill myself, I believe she would be able to call my parents. But I'm not 100% sure.

Only if the threat is imminent. They are not allowed, by law, to tell them about past thoughts. The best thing to do would be to sit down with the counselor at the first session and say "I need to know what will and won't get back to my parents, here" and talk seriously about what it is you want to accomplish by going into therapy and what the counselor can help you do.