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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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 Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:05 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:32 am
I'm not sure what you mean or (intended to mean) by this. I just finished reading eek First of all, what makes it work so well is that the reader can see past the girls naivety from the begining. Throughout the peice, the reader can see past the 'I'm old enough' that she continually tells herself. As for the last paragraph, that was extremely well written and disturbing. It was a nice touch moving to the abductor's perspective just for that section.
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:55 am
meanwhile I'm not sure what you mean or (intended to mean) by this. I just finished reading eek First of all, what makes it work so well is that the reader can see past the girls naivety from the begining. Throughout the peice, the reader can see past the 'I'm old enough' that she continually tells herself. As for the last paragraph, that was extremely well written and disturbing. It was a nice touch moving to the abductor's perspective just for that section.
And thank you v ery much for your comments. ^^
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Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:15 am
Damn, girl, this is a very nice piece of work. Parents need to read this. Parents need to understand this. Just...ugh...You've got the right idea with that last paragraph. That's just how it is.
The description there in the end was effectively disturbing. I've already expressed how the topic just gets under my skin. You did an amazing job, though part of me wishes I had not read it because it was just a little too much...But it's so true.
Keep writing like this. Just keep writing. You're ability and you're ideas are great. Keep on writing.
btw, why aren't there any quotations? And what exactly was the criteria of the class asignment supposed to be (just curious)?
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:47 am
MaDMiDgEt Damn, girl, this is a very nice piece of work. Parents need to read this. Parents need to understand this. Just...ugh...You've got the right idea with that last paragraph. That's just how it is. The description there in the end was effectively disturbing. I've already expressed how the topic just gets under my skin. You did an amazing job, though part of me wishes I had not read it because it was just a little too much...But it's so true. Keep writing like this. Just keep writing. You're ability and you're ideas are great. Keep on writing. btw, why aren't there any quotations? And what exactly was the criteria of the class asignment supposed to be (just curious)?
As for the criteria, it was write a four page story. Either a fan fic, or an original work that relates to pop culture. I then have to spend the next three pages analysing the story I just wrote. Not bad, huh?
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2004 12:48 pm
It sounds like a Law and Order episode. lol. Anyways, I love it. For all the reasons pointed out above ^_^
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 6:18 pm
luke-sama It sounds like a Law and Order episode. lol. Anyways, I love it. For all the reasons pointed out above ^_^
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Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 12:14 pm
I really like it - I think it's a great short story! And it hit close to home too - Little Red in the beginning reminded me a lot of me - always being online, chatting to new people, etc. Though I'm older than Little Red, and I've never met anyone from the internet in real life.
I like the fact that you told certain bits of the story from the points of view of different characters too - at some points I felt like yelling at Little Red to not be so stupid! And it was interesting to get an idea of how a ****** thinks - so cold, heartless and uncaring!
I think it's a great piece of work - hope you get a good mark for it!
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:54 am
I'm going to give this a quick nudge, see if some new eyes have any suggestions for this.
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:46 am
Wow...
That last paragraph almost made me sick to my stomach...You did a very good job with character portrayal here. Kudos.
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 1:21 pm
Whoa. I loved it. It was very well written and the character was awesome. The last line. That was creepy. Really really good! surprised
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 5:21 pm
That was amazing! Little Red's portrayal was so innocent, even though she didn't know that was she was doing was anything but. It was really creepy, and with the ***** at the end justifying his sickness...you really got your point across. Good job, I hope this gets a good grade!
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:41 am
Thanks a lot for the feedback, guys! It actually did get a good grade, and I'm working on publishing it now.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:31 pm
Woah. That's awsome! It's so realistic, like we don't think it'll happen to us, but then it can happen to anyone.
It's so close to the truth, it'd be good as a published story, people might take more notice.
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 12:26 pm
I'm hoping to have it published some day, as well as a collection of other modernized fairy tales. I just need to find time to work on them. sweatdrop
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