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 Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:16 pm
spur of the moment, not structure, no title, i just liked it... it's your smile, it makes me so weak that I dont think I can resist the urge to touch you
it's your hand, when it's holding mine and I dont want to ever let go becasue I feel so safe
it's my heart, that wants you so much even though my brain knows that I cant have you
that's why I love you, it's not enough and it makes no sense but I love you
I love you-
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Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:45 pm
It's pretty good. You described love well, and what it feels like.
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Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:04 pm
it's very sweet and i like the repetition at the end, but I think the thoughts need a bit more seperation. It's nice, but it's a bit difficult to read... then again, that could just be because I don't have my reading glasses on right now xp
Overall, good job!
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:31 pm
too cliche. Spice it up more. I would also suggest adding some structure.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:12 am
Wow. You're a pretty good poet.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:17 am
Awww! So sweet! I like the way you described how it makes you feel. ^_^ Love poems/storeies are my weakness: I love them all (well, maybe not all, but a bunch of them. lol) and I love to write them. Great job!
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