Welcome to Gaia! ::

Normally I use a tarot deck known as the Faery Tarot (created by Brian Froud, if any of you know of him). I've always found them easier to associate with than simply a Queen of Pentacles or a Judge. They all have wonderful, diverse personalities and meanings, both light and dark. I used to be amazing with them the more and more I practiced. Over the summer, it got to a point where I could predict which cards would come up before I even turned them over. Well...then some bad things happened. I really don't want to get into it unless you ask me too, but basically I assumed a siren and had a very nasty, sexually violating experience with a demon. Now my faeries won't speak to me. They won't give meaningful answers anymore, they constantly fall from my hands, and once I tried to do a rading and could feel physically a sickness and pain that said "GO AWAY!" It got so bad that I burst into tears and couldn't touch them for an hour, when I was allowed only to put them away. I've tried giving them time to cool off and then go back to them, but it hasn't been working and I feel so alone and disconnected. Has anyone else had these experiences or has any advice? I miss my faeries...

I PMed it, bu tI figure I can post my experience with the demon thing for everyone else.

Anyway, the detils now are blurry because this happened a few months ago. Basically, I had been having a bad feeling in my room all night. I was on the phone with my fiance and we were talking, and every now and then I would stop and just get this unsettled, thick feeling in the room. I cold see in my mind's eye this sort of wispy black cloud looming around the floor of my room, but it looked non threatening so I ignored it. Later that night I was laying in bed, still on the phone, with all my lights off. That's when I felt that unsettling feeling again, like the clouds were spilling up onto my bed . Again, I tried to ignore it, though I pulled the blankets up tighter. Well that didn't keep it off. Eventually, the feeling progressed, and the cloud began to solidify, taking an opaque, nondescript shape of some sort of shape with tendrils coming from it.

Needless to say, I was scared out of my wits, since even though I could tell it was a weaker demon thing, it was my first encounter with it. I told my fiance about it and tried to help me calm down, but eventually I felt like I was being...well...touched. Innapropriately. I could feel this cold feeling, and see a dark tendril, running down my breasts, past my stomach, and stopping at my pants. Of course, it scared me that I could feel this as though on my bare skin despite my pajamas and blankets. So I began freaking then, really badly, and as I did, the feelings got worse. I tried to put a seal around my body, but I was tired and scared and it didn't work. I began crying at one point, having my legs squeezed together to keep it out of "there" and begged for my fiance to tell my brothers what happened online. He did and my eldest brother said to fight it and instructed my fiance to hang up and make me deal on my own, which he did.

At that point I was at the end of my rope and so afraid that I just gave in and let it have its way with me so it wouldn't hurt me. I had had sex once before with my fiance, so I knew what it felt like, and it was very similar, except scary and dirty feeling and there was no pleasure involved. After that, my mind blanked and I called my fiance, told him I hated him for deserting me, which I apologized for later, and cried myself to sleep. I felt so sick and wrong and disgusted with myself for giving up...and I think maybe that rubbed off on my abilities. I lost all my powers for days (empathy, remote viewing, astral projection) and it's taken a long time just to start to regain them, but I still can't do a reading to save my life.

You know, I was looking for good purification incense when I went up to Salem last week, but I could only find relaxation ones that smelled nice. A purifying ritual doesn't sound like a bad plan, I can rid myself of the tension between myself and the faeries. Thanks ^_^

I could try to look up purification spells if you like? You could also do that with visualization as well. 3nodding

You could use it as an examples as well. Well, i'll help you find some good sources you could use as an example. But I won't guareentee how effective it is if you copy a similar examples.

(I am a better teacher than a practioner sweatdrop )

Well, we shall see ninja

Hmm..Sounds like an experiance I had last Friday when I was with my boyfriend, though, the demon was not able to violate me in that way, but it did cut off all connections to the energy that I had gathered from Hallowe'en and the full moon that had followed as well as my empathy.

I would have to agree, a purification spell would be best, and the sooner, the easier it will be to restablish your connection to your cards.

PM me, if you want to compare experiances to see if perhaps the demonic being is similar.

Is it possible to cast a sheild/protection spell on a blanket or quilt? That might work..... But I would get something ready just in case of another demon....... I don't know how to help you with your cards though.....