So my friend let me borrow her limited edition The Black Parade. And what did I think to do? Type it up for the guild of course! 3nodding
Notes: I tried to make it as close to the booklet as possible (with the bold/fonts and such). There are no page numbers in the booklet I added them at what would be the end of the page. Anything written between "(())" is me given you so information or what have you.
Introduction
It was mere moments before we took the stage in a small club somewhere in Australia. It was right before they killed the lights but the hallway we stood in was dark and hot. Real hot. The crowd was growing impatient as our crew ran the final equipment checks and it suddenly occured to us that this was indeed our last show on the “Revenge” tour. And while none of us remember for certain how many shows we played, we knew that the fight, the journey, took us from the basements to the arenas . . . out of the can and off to the lions. It had been a long two years and our faces didn’t look the same, our bodies now responded differently . . . sometimes with instinct and reflex, other times sluggish with injury. But we never stopped playing . . . it was always about the show. It’s what kept us alive.
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We did our ritual eighty jumping jacks together, Frank never did them on account of his consistent nausea before we played, Mikey also never did the . . . I think because of nerves. We hugged each other one last time, thanked one another for giving it their all for so long, and for other personal reasons. We held our breath. Everything went black and we walked out to feedback, which we always did at small clubs. Keep it simple.
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I don’t remember too much about the show . . . I remember having a blast as usual. We had just played two of the biggest shows of our lives supporting Green Day in Australian stadiums and it was always a rush to go from a stadium to a club. The mathematics of the situation always led to a volatile set. You were guaranteed a burner. There were two injuries that night on account of reckless abandon. We didn’t want it to end.
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*****
I think maybe we were afraid of what was coming
We had no idea what was coming.
I think maybe we were afraid of what was coming
We had no idea what was coming.
We said out goodbyes the next morning in the hotel lobby and we went our separate ways. I was going on vacation in Japan, something that would further my feelings of alienation I developed while playing the arenas. But I love Japan . . . it’s my favorite place in the whole world and you can be invisible there. I wouldn’t see the guys for about a month or more, the longest I have ever gone without them and I was upset by this - it felt like losing your appendages. It was painful. But making a record is even more painful.
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Making a record is a lot like surgery without anesthetic. You first need to cut yourself up the middle. Then you have to rip out every single organ, every single part and lay them on a table. You then need to examine the parts, and the reality of the situation hits you. You find yourself saying things like “I didn’t know that part was so ugly.” Or “I better get a professional opinion about that.” You go to bed hollow and then back into the operating room the next day . . . facing every fear, every disgusting thing you hate about yourself. Then you pop it all back in, sew yourself shut and perform . . . you perform like your life depended on it- and in those perfect moments you find beauty you never knew existed. You find yourself and your friends all over again, you find something to fight for, something to love. Something to show the world.
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- KNOW THIS -
Every record you make brings you closer to the end of your band.
That’s why it’s so painful-but that’s also why it’s so special.
Every record you make brings you closer to the end of your band.
That’s why it’s so painful-but that’s also why it’s so special.
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You have your whole life to write the first album, then, when you’ve discovered who you are, you extend and hone those ideas for your second. But to make the third you need to find yourselves all over again, you need to reinvent yourselves. You need to find what you fear the most-then you need to become it.
---> So what are we afraid of?
xoxo l g.
AUGUST 10TH, 2006, OSAKA, JAPAN
xoxo l g.
AUGUST 10TH, 2006, OSAKA, JAPAN
Page 1 ((arrow in place of a hand pointing to the line. ))
After the holidays had passed and a few phone conversations were exchanged, we met up at S.I.R. studios in New York City to start sifting through the materical for the next album. We missed each other a great deal and we exchanged stories and higs. It was as if a group of survivors had met up for drinks, joking about that time they almost didn’t make it.
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We worked all day, every day. We would commute home only to start again the next day, and it was severely cold this winter in NYC. I remember one time stepping in a puddle of slush so deep and so cold I almost collapsed from shock.
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We had about fourteen songs at this point if I remember correctly. Some of which we were unsure of, others we had a very good feeling about. We focused on what we had a good feeling about because we felt something special was underneath all the rubble if we just dug for it. Another thing to mention is that we don’t “jam.” I remember we tried it once while writing songs for Bullets and it just ended up being a mess. There was always an idea, always a battle plan.
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Some days were harder than others...sometimes we would just smoke a ton of cigarettes and just stare at each other, sometimes we would hit on something and magic would happen.
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One of those moments was a song called “Mama.” I remember we played an arena in Chicago and this line “Mama, we all go to hell” just hit me, along with a melody. Ray and I worked out a small guitar part to go along with the melody and we tried it right away at sound check. I think we all knew as soon as we played it that it was some kind of new direction for us, one that was more theatrical than anything we had done... to us it was even more “cabaret” than “You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison.”
-------------------IT WAS PURE. IT WAS RAW. IT WAS UNASHAMED.----------------------
So we dug up her bones and started to work on her. By the time we had completed most of her parts we realized we had raised a creative bar for ourselves. Simply playing aggressive/melodic/driving songs wasn’t going to cut it anymore. There had to be a new sound. It was around this time that we realized we were going to make a very epic sounding record. “The End” came shortly after and we butted it against “DEAD!” and we had our start to the record... now we had to make some cuts.
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We had around eight songs we felt pretty strongly about when we asked producer Rob Cavallo to come meet us. Rob had been expressing great interest in producing us, and we had great interest in meeting him. Not only did he produce every Green Day record since Dookie, but he had done a record by Jawbreaker called Dear You. This was the template for certain songs off of Revenge like “Helena” and “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid.”
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It contained a guitar sound called “white-hot guitar,” something to this day producers and bands try and re-create. And not only had Rob engineered this sound, but he had proven himself a versatile producer, capable of epic things.
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Rob was super-friendly and very sweet. He was very natural and didn’t try and put up a front, he didn’t act like a producer that had sold millions of albums. We asked him if we could paly him some songs and instantly we had a chemistry.
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I THINK HE UNDERSTOOD WHAT WE WANTED TO DO AS SOON AS WE OPENED UP WITH “THE END/DEAD!” YOU COULD SEE IN HIS EYES HE WAS VERY EXCITED.
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We waited until the fourth song to play “Mama,” comething we knew would make or break how we felt about a producer based on his reaction.
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ROB COULD BARELY CONTAIN HIMSELF
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He was instantly engaged by the verse... but when the chorus hit, he uncontrollably stood up and raised his arms in the air. I think he mouthed the word “********.” When it was over his jaw was wide open. He then cracked one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen. He was so proud it was like we were already working together... so we went out for a steak dinner and asked him to produce the album. It was a great night and one we’ll all remember for a long time.
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I should mention that I developed some pretty strong social anxiety while living in Queens at the time. I was completely unable to adjust to living a normal life and the neighborhood was rife with teenagers, which put me on edge. I had started to feel old. I started to feel like I couldn’t connect with anyone. Riding the subway into the city, I would often find myself nervous and paranoid, especially when school let out. It was pretty comical. One day while riding the train, the subway car filled with tons of school kids, I started to have a straight out panic attack. To deal with this I hid under my notebook and just started to write lyrics...
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We worked for a couple more weeks, getting the rest of our material together, knowing we would have time to write more songs in Los Angeles. We packed up our things, said our good-byes and got on an airplane.
-------------------------------WE HATE AIRPLANES.----------------------------------
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page 4 = picture of Paramour mansion (well I’m assuming anyway)
We stepped out of the baggage claim at LAX and into the rain outside. I should mention that every time we go to Los Angeles for any reason at all, it rains for the duration of our stay. People would always say things like “Man, this is the most rain we’ve ever gotten in Los Angeles!” and “You guys always bring the rain!” It seemed like that.
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We hopped in a rental car and started driving. It was late at night when we pulled up to these menacing iron gates, which held a sign that said:
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THE PARAMOUR PRIVATE RESIDENCE NO HONKING.
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Bob hit a buzzer, exchanged some words with an intercom, and the gates slowly opened. I always thought this was for the desired effect of making it as creepy as possible when you went in, and it worked. We stepped out of the car, grabbed our bags, and were let into our new home, The Paramour. It even sounds menacing, doesn’t it? It was.
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As soon as you stepped in, you got a “Shining” vibe. Right away it felt like this place was going to consume you and eventually it would. There wee so many hallways that seemed to lead somewhere very dark, stairways that led to places that were very cold. The whole place was cold. The whole place seemed haunted. We figured this would work for us.
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We all drew numbers to see who got which room and it almost seemed like the house chose which one we got, because each room really seemed to fit each guy. Except Mikey. His room was terrifying to be in and I couldn’t exactly tell you way... it just had a bad vibe to it.
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The next day our gear arrived and we set up. You could tell that no one had slept very well on account of the cold or the fact that you always felt like someone was watching yuo. We set up the gear in this giant room with these amazing chandeliers and a Dutch-looking wood ceiling. The room sounded dark but it would work for what we needed.
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We started working right away, realizing we were going to need some heaters in order to keep going. In fact, when Rob Cavallo showed up the next day, he had to go back to his car after a while and get his jacket and gloves. We were really excited to see Rob again and start working. He liked to stay out of our mix at this point and just let us do our thing, like he was still trying to read how we worked. Rob is very interested in the psychology of a band, and ultimately this is what helped make the record so great. There would be many a night where one of us would need to talk to him about something personal, and he was always there for us. He would work as long as we would, sometimes staying very late, giving us advice, and giving us encouragement.
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We would learn that Rob was a wealth of musical information. He was like a human jukebox. You would name a song, any song, and he could pick up a guitar and play it. An then he could tell you why the song worked, or he knew the story of how the band wrote it and why. One day he walked over to the keyboard and played the first bars of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” He turned to see five guys staring at him, like we had caught him stealing cookies or something. We just smiled. It was then that we knew who was going to play keyboards with us... something we had many ways... and it helped us complete the sound we wanted to create.
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It was around this time that we met Rob’s engineer, Doug McKean, so we could start making live demos. Doug is a personality. Right away we got along with him because he had the same sense of humor as us, very dark and very bleak. He also did a great impression of Rob, something we would all get very good at.
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We kept working and everything was going great, but there was a minor snag in the writing process. We had agreed to do a show in Texas at this year’s SXSW, which meant we had to stop the flow, rehearse and get on a plane. But the show was for a good cause, an organization called Shirts For A Cure, who we worked with as much as we could because it donated proceeds to cancer research. So we got out acts together and got on another airplane.
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When we got back is when things got dark, Real dark.
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We were excited when we got off the airplane, for the first time the sun was out and we had just played a great show at Emo’s. We even played “The End/DEAD!” for an encore because we were that amped to play in front of people again. Rob met up with us and we started to demo again, attempting to get back into a groove.
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IT DIDN’T WORK.
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We knew we were just a few songs away from tracking this album, which was shaping up to be grand, theatrical, eclectic, and epic. For the first time we had allowed the concept of the record to be shaped by the songs themselves, as opposed to a pre-set story and it had worked. It had gone through many evolutions but it was just starting to take shape.
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NOW COMES ONE OF THE HARDEST PARTS.
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I’m not going into too much detail about what happened and perhaps I never will. But there comes a time when you need to be much more than a friend, a band mate, or a brother. You have to learn to be there for each other in ways you never knew existed, face things you never had to face together.
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Mental illness has always been an issue this band has dealt with, but it’s something we’ve taken head-on. Something we’ve always beaten. But this time depression hit one of us in a very severe way, and there was no shaking it off.
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SOMEONE NEEDED HELP. SOMEONE NEEDED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.
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It was the first time we tried to make music together while we were incomplete.
It was paralyzing. Then the house consumed us.
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We walked around like zombies, not creating, not showering, not living. Some never left their rooms. I left my pajama pants on for a week once, constantly fighting back the urge to just walk into the swimming pool and stand at the bottom until I couldn’t breathe. I would yell “I’m just gonna walk into that ******** swimming pool one day!” We were all losing it. We had decided that we didn’t want to videotape any of the writing process and at this point we were glad we didn’t tape anything.
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WE LOOKED LIKE GHOSTS AND WE HAUNTED THE HOUSE
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Then it seemed as if fear started to creep its way into the camp. It felt like we were burning and drowning at the same time, with no end in sight. We would try in vain to write, and eventually Frank had come up with this riff that ended up turning into “House Of Wolves,” which was great and got us going, but we still felt incomplete because we were.
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One night it was around 4 A.M., and I heard Ray playing “Bark At The Moon” at max volume in the live room. Ray was always playing really late at this point and it would break my heart, because it sounded like he was fighting with his guitar, frustrated that he couldn’t play our songs. I would lay in bed and just get upset, but this night I walked down there, smelling like agarbage can covered in six days of facial hair (which isn’t that much).
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I poked my head in the live room and he was just riffing, banging his head while sitting in a chair. I walked over and said hello, then we talked for a bit. Small talk.
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As we talked I was messing around with Rob’s guitar, kind of aimlessly playing and hit upon this riff. It was heavy, and not like Black Sabbath heavy but emotionally heavy. Ray then played around with it and a vocal melody came right away. It was clearly about what we were going through and so much more.
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Like the song made you say the things that hurt you the most. The things that you didn’t want to talk about . We knew it was something special.
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The next day we all got together and started working. We went into “House Of Wolves,” which got our blood going, especially the middle-section. Then we started working on this new piece. We all tried things we had never tried and played very fiercely. Almost like our lives depended on it. I remember pretty much losing my s**t by the end of the song,
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page 8 =close up picture of lamp
because the guys had built it to a very emotional moment and left me wide open to just belt. I belted away and they got very intense. This song became “Famous Last Words,” which in a lot of ways ended up being a sleeper, a song that surprises you when it’s finished. Another example of a sleeper for us is “Helena.” “Famous Last Words” was the first song about salvation, redemption. It was exactly what we needed.
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WE REALIZED WE NEEDED TO GET SOMEONE BACK, AND IT WAS TIME FOR THAT.
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I will also say right here that if it wasn’t for the lovely Stacy Fass, our attorney, we wouldn’t have made it through this period. She was our beacon of hope, our sister, and at times our mother. Many a night she would come out to see us at 4 A.M.... and sit in the “heavy room” with us and just listen to us talk. Then she would be brutally honest.
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She saved our lives.
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It was also time to start tracking, and right before we left the Paramour we wrote a song called “ Sleep.” We had a meeting with Rob and Craig Aaronson, our A and R, who was great and supportive through the whole process. We went over the songs and realized we had so many great songs. It made us feel finished enough to track, and having the gang all back and functioning we packed up and headed to The Oakwood- and off to Eldorado studio.
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This record had gone through a few different incarnations. I had wanted to keep the story open as to not get locked into something we didn’t have the songs for, and a few ideas started the ball rolling.
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It started as a record about Hell. One of the earliest titles for the record was “The Fall Of The Damned,” named after a renaissance painting of the same name. I even did a mockup of the album artwork using the painting, and it looked pretty cool but it just seemed arbitrary and lazy. I knew we wanted to tell a story but I knew I didn’t know that much about Hell, so I started to research it. I bought a ton of books on the subject and started reading.
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In one of the books, I found an interesting entry about something called a Mystery Play. It is defined as:
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mystery play ((the pronunciation is here but I don’t want to spend hours sifting through characters))
n.
a popular medieval play based on biblical stories or the lives of the saints. Also called miracle play. “Mystery plays were performed by members of trade guilds in Europe from the 13th century, in churches or later on wagons or temporary stages along a route, frequently introducing apocryphal and satirical elements. Several cycles of plays survive in association with particular English cities and towns.”
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I also found out that original mystery plays were pagan, and one of the earliest forms of entertainment for the masses. They were about sex and magic. But once the organized church realized the potential of there “plays,” they took them over, reshaping them into Morality Plays, which were about damnation and the wages of sin.
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I found this very interesting and brought to the guys, attempting to make the first (?) Rock version of a mystery play. Complete with characters, costumes, and a very Baroque aesthetic.
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It still wasn’t what we wanted to say or what I had to say. In fact, the only song about Hell on the record is “House Of Wolves,” and it fits into the story quite niicely. And “Mama” is more about damnation and war. You’ll notice that in the artwork, “The Devil” is represented by two twin wolves.... this is always how I imagined The Devil but I’m not sure way.
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It was blatantly obvious that the record was going to be about Death, ot more importantly, Life. Death was a subject that initially wanted to stay away from, feeling that we had gone there before. But as they say, “you write what you know,” and this time I knew a great deal more about death. We jad grown to accept it. Mikey and myself had finally come to grips with the death of our grandmother. I started to again see the beauty in the finality of it, and the fans had helped us get over it. Touring on “Revenge,” I found that extended the obsession with vengeance to the stage, but by the end of the tour had learned more about forgiveness and encouraged non-violent solutions.
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We had all grown up quite a bit, and needed a record to reflect theat. We needed something with social commentary, a healthy does of black humor, a sparing and tasteful dose of irony, and unapologetic self-expression. We needed to go somewhere we had never done with the subject before.
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WE NEEDED A HERO. THIS HERO BECAME A PATIENT.
THE PATIENT.
THE PATIENT.
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I saw this patient as a tragic little man, someone who is going before their time, someone who never truly let themselves love, someone a little bit sad and little bit pathetic. I saw the patient as a character everyone can put themselves in the shoes of. OtA her characters would become very important such as Fear and Regret (the twins), The Soldiers, The Escape Artist, Mother War...these are the characters he would meet on his journey to either eternal damnation or everlasting peace.
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It all starts in a hospital...
The basic concept is this: When you die... how does Death come for you?
I like to think that when it does, it comes for you however you want, as if it taps into your subconscious, finds something strong inside you and transforms into that.The basic concept is this: When you die... how does Death come for you?
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A MEMORY. YOUR STRONGEST MEMORY
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Now right about the darkest days for us, at The Paramour, when all hope seemed to be lost, I had terrible trouble sleeping. Every single night it felt as if someone or something was griping my throat, squeezing away until my lungs were empty . I would convulse. My heart was literally stopping. It was horrifying. These weren’t simply “night tremors but in fact “night terrors” (this was the inspiration for the song, “Sleep”). It was also about this time that I became obsessed with Joan of Arc for some crazy reason. I almost shaved my head. I’m glad I didn’t I bought every movie I could about her and watched them over and over. The best one was “The Passion Of Joan Of Arc.” It was silent and intense. I would go for days just locked up in my room staring at this painting called “March Of The Saints,” in which Joan Of Arc is featured (this painting became the inspiration for the cover of the album and you will notice Joan O f Arc in the artwork).
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Occasionally, during convulsions, I would have these “waking dreams.” Visions, but most likely nightmares that were probably a result of stress and anxiety. In these visions I would see people that I loved dying, or Joan of Arc burning alive, terrible things. I never slept. I had come across a small page of notes I have kept during these nightmares. One of the things written was this:
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“WE ARE ALL JUST A BLACK PARADE”
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Bleak, I know, but something new. Something completely new to me. It conjured up so much imagery: funeral processions, Macy’s day, Saints, sinners, balloons, trombones, Dia De Los Muertos, death. It sounded like what we needed.
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What if The Patient’s strongest memory was from childhood?
What if his father took him to see a parade?
What is that’s how death comes for him? What is The Black Parade?
What if his father took him to see a parade?
What is that’s how death comes for him? What is The Black Parade?
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ON THIS RECORD, FOR US THE BLACK PARADE REPRESENTS A FEW THINGS.
In the story it represents Death. It represents The Patients final march to the unknown: the form, which Death takes.
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As a band, it felt like the name The Black Parade summed up the band almost better than My Chemical Romance. It represented everything that made us up: the irony, the black humor, the celebratory nature of our music yet the darkness at the same time. The
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cohesiveness and the defiance, the camaraderie. It would become our alter ego for this album. We needed to become a new band in order to face what life had thrown us, the hardships and the turmoil, the fear. We would tear off our skin and expose the bones. We would become a band know as The Black Parade. Not a shell but a declaration:
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“YOU CANNOT DESTROY US.”
“I AM NOT AFRAID TO LIVE.”
“WE WILL CARRY ON.”
“I AM NOT AFRAID TO LIVE.”
“WE WILL CARRY ON.”
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As people, it summed up our fans. Our connection to the fans is very important to us. It’s always been us against the world and we all know the punch line to the big black joke. What better way to show that than to make them part of it?
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“WE ARE ALL JUST A BLACK PARADE”
AND THE BLACK PARADE
NEEDED UNIFORMS.
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I STARTED DRAWING.
AND THE BLACK PARADE
NEEDED UNIFORMS.
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I STARTED DRAWING.
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page 14 = picture of ...mixer machine perhaps
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TRACKING THE RECORD WAS TRULY A MAGICAL EXPERIENCE.
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Thanks to Rob, we had unlocked a part of ourselves we always felt we had inside of us. We just needed the encouragement to discover it. I could go on and on about the tracking... it took a long time. It was difficult and challenging every step of the way and none of us stopped until we got is right, no one gave up. The concept was almost complete; the songs were in place with still more to some. The band was playing better than it ever had, taking risks it never dreamed of... we were making the record of our dreams and loving every minute of it.
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Everything we had gone through, the hardships and the challenges, had led up to this moment. And not only the dark days at The Paramour but our entire lives were a test it seemed. We had done the work, lost the sleep... and it was time to perform.
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This is when you see what you are made of. This is when you face your biggest fears.
THIS IS WHEN YOU SHINE.
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There are too many amazing moments to even recall about the performances, and I like it that way. But from the minute Doug hit “record” the hairs stood up on the back of our necks. It was electricity. It was a new sound. I watched Ray, Frank, Bob, and Mikey go on to do the best work of their lives. I watched them attempt things they would never dream of doing during Revenge and they would pull it off like they had been doing it forever. You wanted to perform for Rob, you wanted to make him proud and that’s what we did.
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We decided again not to capture on video what we were doing, and it became a blur. We all started to finish each other’s sentences. When one of us got crazy everyone got crazy. It was an infection that began to affect everyone... people forgot to shave, forgot to eat or drink water... some of us forgot to rest. And no matter where you went, or what you were doing, it was as if the record would follow you until you finished it. You couldn’t simply go out and party because it consumed you. You couldn’t watch TV or go to the movies because it would hunt you down and find you in the aisles, waving a flashlight in your face and asking for your ticket stub.
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AT TIMES IT FELT LIKE THE RECORD WAS TRYING TO KILL US.
BUT IT ONLY WANTED TO MAKE US BETTER.
BUT IT ONLY WANTED TO MAKE US BETTER.
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It was really amazing to see the characters some to life in the songs sometimes through guitar parts or sound effects, other times I would find myself singing in another voice, a different person... sometimes a woman and sometimes a soldier. I decided to shop off almost all of my hair, which had become long and matted again. I wanted to feel like the patient and I also wanted to strip away all the color to my hair...I wanted it white which I saw as the absence of life. This helped me get into character, like method acting.
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As we tracked the story got tighter and tighter but also I noticed the layers started to strip away, the fiction and metaphor of everything started to fade and what was left by the end of the record was something very naked, something very honest and very obvious...
WE WERE THESE CHARACTERS. IT WAS OUR STORY WE WERE TELLING.
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Eventually, we finished. But it never truly feels that way with a record like this. We lived in this world, this afterlife, for so long that it was hard to disconnect from. I could probably still work on the record if I had the chance but it’s truly perfect the way it is. Sometimes you need to know when to stop. Luckily we had a schedule to dictate that to us.
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It was around this time we met an amazing keyboard player named Jamie, through Rob. We instantly hit it off with him and he had this great vibe about him, this great energy. And he showed up wearing a Germs T-shirt and possessed an extensive knowledge of bizarre movies, which he would reference in his playing, all of our favorites. One of the movies we talked about was “Phantom Of The Paradise,” and he understood where we were coming from with the album, bringing up referenced like Pink Floyd’s The Wall, The Beatles Sgt. Peppers and Queen’s Night At The Opera. He would go on to lay down some amazing synth, some powerful “In The Flesh” style B-3 organ, and piano on a track called :Blood,” in which he also did this crazy sound with his mouth. We would call this “Pizza Parlor Mouth” due to the nature of the lunacy of the song.
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“Mama” was a very special song to us, so we had some of our parents come out and track some vocals on the ending, so we could have them on the track forever. This made the record even more special to us but it still wasn’t finished. During the last month, during final vocals, I had started to re-track some of the vocal parts in “Mama” I was unhappy with. We came to this section where it gets very quiet before a big finale to the song and I stopped for a second and said to Rob and Doug:
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“I think it should be a women here... what do you think?”
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This had some up before and I had done some female voices on the record I was pretty happy with... but right here it felt like I couldn’t act it. It needed real sorrow, real tenderness.
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They said: “Who do you think?”
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Now I should mention that I had been warming up int the vocal booth by doing an impression of Judy Garland as I would picture her to be on Broadway, very bawdy and expressive and I would yell with vibrato in my voice: “Hellooooooooooo!”
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I would do this to warm up and occasionally break the tension when we had a long night. Doug was a big fan of it. I was a big fan of “Cabaret” so naturally I said:
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“Liza Minnelli.”
“Liza with a Z?” they asked.
“Liza with a Z?” they asked.
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Now to further illustrate how “crazy” became infectious, I should point out that Rob Cavallo did not choose to comment on this with words but instead he picked up the phone near the board and make a phone call. I heard him talk to someone briefly and then hang up. He then said, “I love Liza Minnelli.”
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Fast-forward to two weeks later, we are in the same tracking room at Capitol Records where we had just done a string and horn session with the amazing David Campbell. And we have Liva Minnelli live in New York City in another studio. It was amazing that Rob pulled this off and he said that she was very happy to do it. The guys were very excited. As soon as we started talking to her I got pins and needles. I’m a huge Liza Minnelli fan because growing up she was our grandma’s favorite performer. I was exposed to theatre
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and musicals from a very early age... I was exposed to showmanship. To me, Liza Minnelli was the only voice that could have portrayed Mother War. Someone very strong, someone that had loved and lost, someone that had been through so mush in her life and survived. There was no one that could beat her and she was so amazingly sweet, funny, charming...and she ahd a flawless voice. She kept doing takes on her own just to make sure she got it right, even though her worst takes are better than others’ best takes. We can’t wait to meet her in person.
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Earlier, I mentioned the string and horn session with David Campbell. This was one of the coolest moments on the record, as we got to hear the songs get these amazing layers on them. David instantly understood what we were doing and it felt like he made the parade some alive on “Welcome To The Black Parade, ‘ something the song needed for additional strength.
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So with all of the elements in place we went on to mixing, which was conveniently right down the street with Chris Lord-Alge. He did a great job harnessing the power of the songs and focusing the sound. One track, “Welcome To The Black Parade,” contained the most tracks he had ever mixed in his 20-year career. 167 tracks to be exact and he nailed it. It was really amazing to hear.
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BY THE END OF MIXING, EVEN CHRIS HAD BECOME INFECTED BY THE MADNESS,
MIXING SOME OF THE FINAL TRACKS IN A PRIVATE HAT.
MIXING SOME OF THE FINAL TRACKS IN A PRIVATE HAT.
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With tracking done and mixing on its way we began to get a lot of the final elements in place. We were almost ready to share this vision with the world.
We cannot thank Rob, Doug, and Chris enough for this experience.
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ONCE WE HAD A TITLE FOR THE RECORD, I ENDED UP DRAWING NON-STOP.
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The drawings then led to characters, which led to the persona of the band, The Black Parade. I pictures them as a Death-Rock version of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but with a sort of antique “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” turn-of-the-century flavor (Mikey would start referring to the record as “Pre-Midlife Crisis and the Infinite Sadness” an accurate description in some regards).
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I had decided very early on that I did not want to draw the art for the record. I felt that it would detract from the vision because I was so close to the music, especially this time around. I had to have 100% focus constantly and I also desired more photography this time around. I had a meeting with the legendary Jeff Ayeroff and the amazing Ellen Wakayama about the direction of the record. Ellen is the Vice President of the Art Department at Warner Bros. and someone who always supported the vision. Jeff is the guy responsible for convincing me that my sketch for the cover of Three Cheers was, in fact, the cover itself. He is someone that had always believed in me and I love him for it. Without hearing a single note of music he looked at the drawing and said, "This is The Wall... you are making a record like The Wall!” “This looks like some sort of Death version of Sgt. Peppers! I love it.” While he again encouraged me to do all the art myself, he understood that I couldn’t handle it this time... I think I already started to look like a ghost at this point. Jeff is a legend.
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JAMES JEAN IS BAR NONE MY FAVORITE COMIC BOOK COVER ARTIST OF ALL TIME.
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It’s also interesting to note that we both graduated SVA in New York City but had never met back in those days. We had won a bunch of awards in Spin Magazine’s annual Readers Poll. So James was commissioned to do a piece of some of the winners. He did this amazing two page spread of Billie Joe, Gwen Stefani, Trent Reznor, and myself, dressed as a half-elfin ranger (you have to read the interview to get it if you aren’t a Dungeons and Dragons fan.). So I e-mailed him and told him how much I loved it and what a big fan I was. I also mentioned I had just started working on a comic called “The Umbrella Academy” and that I would love for him to do the covers.
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We planned on meeting when we got to Los Angeles, and it took about a month but we finally got together. Frank drove me down to Santa Monica to James’s house, which is this amazing Stanley Kubrick looking place. James was great, almost like I had pictured him from his art, kind of quiet and a little bit shy, but very focused and serious. It seemed that his work consumed him, which I was all about.
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We talked about the comic but the more we talked and the more I looked at his studio and what he was working on, I felt like he would also be the right guy to do the cover of the record. We artistically worked well together and found influence in the same things. He blows me away but I felt a kinship to him art-wise. We went out for lunch, learned a bit more about each other and said goodbye.
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We had a second meeting about the album artwork at his house. At this meeting I finally had some music to play him and he seemed very intrigued by it, I played him “Mama,” and I remember him thinking it was crazy. I told him to just go off on the artwork, showing him a sketch
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I had done based on “March Of The Saints” ... he was ready to start working. As I snapped photos of his studio and his cat, Taffy, we heard a commotion from the kitchen. His wife (who is lovely) was very distraught because a bird had flown into the kitchen window and died on impact. It was a very strange moment outside, looking at the bird, and I snapped some photos of it. It felt like either a bad mojo or a good omen... I’m still trying to figure out which.
---->His cover is phenomenal, and there are lots of little surprises in it. Enjoy it. <----
__________________________________________________________________________THE NEXT STEP WAS FINDING A PHOTOGRAPHER.
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As soon as I explained the concept and the aesthetic, Ellen Wakayama knew right away whom to use. She had recently received an amazing portfolio by a guy named Chris Anthony. He apparently never did commercial work, but these fantastic pieces that hung in galleries. He was looking to try something new and the second I saw this portrait he had done of Zooey Dechanell, I knew he was the right guy. His imaged are haunting: they had that turn-of-the-century feeling I wanted, yet they were striking and powerful. They looked like someone climbed in a time machine with a camera and got to shoot the year 1910 in color.
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We met and instantly hit it off. He was very intense and I loved it... it’s something I’m addicted to. He didn’t see it as a job, but as a collaboration, some new kind of territory to explore and it made the whole process painless. He was also great about putting up with my occasional work-related inability to return a simple phone call, and he forged away without me when I was unavailable. Shooting with Chris was some of the most fun we ever had at a photo shoot. I can’t be sure but I think I hear him call me a “********” while trying to get my solo shot... he wanted me as intense as possible and he chain-
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page20-21 = art (the patient the girl in the dress with the mask, some marching dudes)
smoked as he worked. I’m way into this guy and I feel like I gained a collaborator and a friend. He had brought so many wonderful things to the shoot, so many great extras... he even referenced the makeup of the WWI soldiers to match Akira Kurasawa’s “Dreams,” my favorite scene in a movie ever. One of the best parts of the photograph is that with the exception of the gray sky and the zeppelins, everything is real. Every single person, every prop down to the taxidermy wolf were all there with us, no computer tricks. It is one of the craziest photographs ever taken. I should note that Dante, who played The Patient for the photos, was very sweet.
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THE VIDEOS.
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Before we shot the photos or even had the costumes we needed to choose a director for the first single, “Welcome To The Black Parade.” It needed to be the definitive video for the recorded, an immediate knockout punch to accompany the mini-epic that summed up the album. It would include every major character and would see us transformed into the band, The Black Parade.
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I met Samuel Bayer when Bob and I presented an award at an annual music video industry award ceremony, which was fun. Sam received an award for lifetime achievement and as they ran his reel, highlights of his work, I saw so many of the videos that had impacted me throughout my life.
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One video in particular, “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” by The Smashing Pumpkins, stirred a lot of emotion in me. It was one of my favorite videos of all time because before that video, the Pumpkins never loked so dangerous. Rock bands had started to look boring again and nothing was daring, everyone looked the same in ripped
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jeans and “I could give a ********!” flannels. The Smashing Pumpkins looked like they just landed from space to annihilate the Earth. They looked like a new band.
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I remember turning to Bob and whispering “This is who we need.”
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Outside, Devin Sarno introduced me to Sam because I was such a big fan. Devin Sarno is the sweetest guy in the world. He worked with The Smashing Pumpkins videos before he came to Warner Bros. To be Senior Director of Video Promotion. He helped see our vision through every step of the way during “Revenge.” He saw us melt under the lights of the garage in “Not Okay,” he watched us carry a coffin in the rain for three hours while making “Helena,”and he watched us almost drown while shooting “Ghost.” He has made every one of out dreams come true and we love him.
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SAM BAYER.
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From the second we shook hands I felt how intense this guy was. I think I was so nervous to meet him that I gave a lame half-handshake because I kind of missed his hand. I told him I loved his work, he told me he loved our work. I had a feeling something was coming around the corner.
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About a month later we met and he came and listened to what we had worked on. He instantly got it. He was instantly excited. He picked out every single influence and said: “You guys are throwing down the gauntlet with this record... I want the videos to do the same thing... they have to”.
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Sam got the concept of The Black Parade on so many levels. He got it metaphorically, culturally, cinematically. He even picked out the influence of certain films like “City Of Lost Children,” “Delicatessen,” “Metropolis,” and “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” a film we had been trying to capture since we made our first video for “Vampires Will Never Hurt You.”
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He also had a fire and intensity we knew he would bring to the set, and it was something we needed. Devin called him a few days later and asked if he would do the videos. He said he would love to.
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We met up a couple weeks later and Sam had this big book of images he pulled for reference. He nailed it right away. Then we all sat in the control room and talked about the videos. I felt the hairs stand up on the back iif my neck as he talked. I watched everyone in the band become fired up and excited.
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The Black Parade was coming to life. It was magical.
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He wanted to shoot the videos back to back, to use the resources we would build and not let anything go to waste because it was going to be the biggest video we ever made. It was going to be epic and he wanted them to connect.
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We played Sam the song he would be doing the second video for, and there was an immediate reaction as he stood right up. You could literally hear the pistons firing in his head. We asked, “What do you think?” He was silent.
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With his back facing us, still staring at the blaring speakers he turned slowly and said,
“WE’RE GOING TO BURN THE ******** DOWN.”
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COLLEEN ATWOOD.
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During that second meeting for the videos, Sam put in a phone call to a costume designer named Colleen Atwood. We were very excited about this because Colleen was well known, having won two Oscars for her word. We were all huge fans of the costumes she had done for “Edward Scissorhands,” “Sleepy Hollow,” “Memoirs Of A Geisha,” “Planet Of The Apes,” and many other films. Devin had sent her some scans of the rough costumes sketches I had done for the band, The Black Parade, and she got to work.
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The first time we met Colleen we got along right away. There was something familiar about her, like she was a big sister, at times a mother, or an old friend. She was lovely, charming, tremendously talented, and she had a kick-a** sense of humor. Her and her fantastic assistant, Christine, had brought dozens of old military uniforms... some of which looked a hundred years old. She instantly go it, showing us her versions of the characters, the band, and the extras. We went over some options, said our goodbyes and she and her team got to work.
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We checked every single day to see how the costumes were coming along... we couldn’t wait for them. I became obsessed with them because it felt like the final piece to the puzzle.
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At the final fitting, in a hotel room in downtown L.A., The Black Parade suited up for the first time. When you held the costume up on the hanger it instantly took your breath away. When you put it on you felt like a super-hero, someone different, someone extraordinary. I can’t stress enough how she was one of the most amazing people we met on the project. So, with the costumes complete and the set finished, we headed off one early morning to a giant hanger in Downey, California. They used to build space shuttles in this place and from the outside it looked enormous. As we waited in the trailer, anticipation started to set in- luckily, there was a knock on the door.
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Sam was ready to show us the set. We walked to the hanger.
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Words can’t describe what we felt, but I’ll try anyway: It was so beautiful, so dark, and so annihilated that it took your breath away. There were piles of staircases, rubble, chandeliers, dolls, mounds of gravel, and everything was black. You felt like you were in another place, a place that was possibly ravaged by war or God knows what. You turned around to see this massive cityscape that looked like a city of phantoms. There was a float covered in dead flowers and a road that led to the unknown. It was so epic, it terrified you because you realized that it was so much larger than anything you had ever done, anything you were ever a part of. The gravity of what we were about to do finally hit us.
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I turned to Sam and said, “Thank You.”
Those were the only words I could get out. Then we suited up.
Those were the only words I could get out. Then we suited up.
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--------THE NEXT TWO DAYS TESTED EVERY FABRIC OF OUR BEING. ---------
It was intense, it was brutal, and it was the most exciting thing we had ever done. Set up. Perform, do it again. Give everything you could, do it again. The sky was filled with ask that fell like snow as you pushed yourself to limits you never knew existed. Sam was on fire, and it became infectious, just like the fire we had felt in the studio.
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Then came the real fire. The first video was finished, We had an hour to prepare for the second. If Same pulled off what he wanted to, he would have made two videos in two days, and one of those videos in three hours. A record for him.
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It was to be our first strictly performance video, no narrative, no story, no plot twist or extras...just us. Us and the fire.
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Making the second video is something that’s hard to describe. We gave blood and when there wasn’t any more blood to give we gave bones and skin. It was traumatizing, the flames were paralyzing. We kept going.
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It felt as if we lost a lot of our innocence during that video shoot and we surely did. We became animals on some kind of quest for dominance or glory, a strong desire to pull out our insides for the first time on film. I would try to rip my own face off. We would try to kill each other, and much like the house, the fire would consume us. The song was from the darkest period in out lives, about the thing we fear the most... and it all came out.
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We would be the same again
It was our moment and because of Sam, it was captured forever.
It was our moment and because of Sam, it was captured forever.
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I was traumatized for an entire week and the injuries we sustained, none of which were Sam’s fault, are still with us. Days later I sat in a hotel room with my leg elevated, a pair of crutches sitting in the corner and an air cast on my ankle. I stared at the wall and thought about everything we had gone through, everything we had faced. I knew that a lot was coming and I knew we were ready for it because nothing could be as hard as what we had just gone through. We were ready to show the world what we had to say. We needed to make an appearance, because every super-villain, every hero has a first appearance. I felt like a kid waiting for the next issue to hit the stands.
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I thought about London...
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I am behind a black curtain at The Hammersmith Palais with my brothers. We are dressed head to toe in our uniforms. For the first time, we are The Black Parade and it fells like the moment I had been waiting for my whole life, since I was a boy.
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I AM MORE NERVOUS THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN.
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In my stomach, the butterflies are hummingbirds and the hummingbirds are the size of fists that punch at my insides. The lights have gone out and the crowd has started to roar. It seems that only yesterday we were on a stage in Australia, ending a long hard two years. Now we are together again but something different, something stronger.
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