I see absolutely no problem in this poem, except this part. I see a minor mistake, nothing really bad that would ruin the poem, but Forever and After, don't you think they could be on the same line? Or, if I might suggest, just removing after? The only thing after does is signal it might be an unfinished poem, or leave us questioning why the after is even in there. That is just a suggestion, if you'd like to leave it, you can. I'm not trying to sound rude or mean, so sorry if I am
sweatdrop Great poem though, it flowed nicely and you used the right words.
MerlinAnne
Poem 2:
Harmonious Song
Heard in a Dream
Stays Forever
Your Whole Life Long
Beautiful Music
Heard in the light
Fills your spirit
Brings the light
Pretty Melodies
The Music of Life
Intertwining Harmonies
Interacting Life
I found that I liked this one better. It flows even more nicely than the first, and I see pretty much no problem to it. Wonderful poem.
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