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 Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:06 pm
I did this on the NaNo forums and had a jolly good time.
First off, take a look at these: http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/sff.shtml
They're "Book-A-Minute"s -- all pretty much meant to be satirical (but only so funny because it's so true; see the Stephen King one).
In any case, the goal is to take whatever large and epic novel you're currently writing, and ultra-condense it into a summary that can be read in about a minute. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:11 pm
For Rum & Noodles:
Arcisan: I ARR DEAD.
(He isn't.)
Iris: I don't like you and you smell funny. Go away.
Arcisan: gonk
Gabriel: I'm cute! 4laugh
(STUFF happens.)
Kasume: Y HALO THAR PEOPLES. ;D
Janus: I hate you all and I hope you rot in hell.
(More STUFF happens.)
Kasume: Yeah, so I'm really a total b*****d. cool
Gabriel: I'm still cute! 4laugh
Janus: I hate you all and I hope you rot in hell.
(The END.)
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 6:22 am
Rum and Noodles is definitely made of awesomeness. Especially when you boil the Noodles in the Rum. Then you add Cheese. Although some people aren't picky about their Cheese, I definitely think that the best Cheese to go with the Rum and Noodles would be Extra Sharp Cheddar, for that snarky twist. Of course, you might have to rename the dish Rum, Noodles, and Cheese. But I think you can live with that. domokun
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 6:53 pm
For MOSI:
Jericho: The Princess is missing. We must quest.
(They do so.)
Jericho: Oh, look, a cave. We must explore.
(They do so.)
Yinda: Hey, a corpse.
Vitae: I'm not dead.
Everyone: Oh.
(STUFF happens.)
Nathan: Y HALO THAR BUTTSECKS? wink
(More STUFF happens.)
Nathan: I am evil. Grr.
Everyone: Oh no!
(More STUFF happens.)
Nathan: I'm sorry I was such a jerk.
Vitae: Yeah, you were, but I forgive you.
(The END.)
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:39 pm
Yay for random buttsecks! >_>
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Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 2:59 pm
Fuuuun. =D If I had a huge epic novel I was working on, I'd do this. But I don't. So I won't. Sad.
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:24 pm
Mind Spew (the novel, not the comic. They both have the same name, despite being completely different in all respects besides having the same main character, and he's different between the two anyway.)
Monty and Violet: We love you, Greg.
Greg: ******** off.
Oliver's posse: We love you too, Greg.
Greg: ******** off.
Schrodinger: Hi thar.
Greg: WTF?
Schrodinger: You suck.
Greg: Yes indeedy I do.
Linda: I'm a figment of your imagination, and I don't care!
Greg: I'M CRAZY!
Oliver's posse: GREG'S CRAZY!
Linda: And now I'm gone.
Greg: *sniff*
Schrodinger: Get over it.
Greg: Right-o.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:37 am
Chapter 1 of The Royal Contest:
Wolfses: We are hungry.
We smell foods. Oh noes, we smells hoomans too. But we are too hungry and we will have babies soon. So, let's kill some goats.
Goats: ( Die loudly. )
Pat: My goatses!
(He drops his lantern and takes out his sling.)
Wolves: Silly hooman, he can't hit us with rocks, and littls things like that don't hurt! ( He hits them. It hurts. ) Ow! Let's hurt him really bad!
Pat: Oh noes, I must use my stick! ( He does.)
Wolves: Ow, that hurt a lot! we are defeateds! ( They run away.)
Pat: Off I go to sell my dead gaots and mebbe some cheese and goat milk.
Butcher: Silly Patrick, it isn't time to sell goat meat. I'll give way less money than you were hoping to get!
Pat: I'll have to use up all my milk and cheese, since I can't get a good price. I'm outta here.
Messenger: Wait a sec! I have news. Here's a plot device to give you motivation to get to the Castle so we can advance the plot.
Pat: Now I have to sell my land and goats, but who will buy them. Why hello, Farmer Frank, who I have known for a long time and totally isn't made up on the spot so I can conveniently sell my goat ranch.
Farmer Frank: 5 golds.
Pat: Ok. ( He goes towards the Castle. )
Person laying in the road: Oh, helps me, there were nasty thievses who robbeded me, so I is hurt and poor.
Pat: I'll help you to the next town, but then i have to get to the Castle.
Person behind Pat, who is a thief: Gimme your money.
Pat: No.
Thief: Gimme your money or I'll hurt you.
Pat : ( thinks ) If I can beat 3 wolves, I can beat 1 thief. ( says) No.
Thief: ( Pulls out knife, and Pat pulls out stick. )
Not-really-hurt-person-behind-Pat: I am a thief too, and I has a club! ( Hits Pat. )
Pat: Ow.
Prince Frederick: (shoots an arrow at the thieves. They run away. ) If I didn't stop them, they might have come after me. Are you ok?
Pat: I is hurt, but my goats have run away. By the way, I'm going to the Castle.
Fred: Me too.
( They go to the Castle. )
( End of Chapter 1. )
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:55 pm
xd I don't know why, but that made me lol.
Suppose I could do another one of these. :B
For My NaNo '06:
Sophitia: GACK, I'M DEADS.
James: I hate my job. I hate this town. I need coffee. b***h, whine.
Leon: Just your friendly neighborhood creepy-a** quiet immigrant.
(JAMES starts trying to SOLVE the MURDER)
John: I SWEAR TO DRUNK OFFICER I'M NOT GOD
Victor: Shoes? We don't need no stinkin' shoes! lol
Fannie: LEON LET ME HAVE YOUR BABIES KTHX
(JAMES moves in with LEON because his ROOF caves IN)
Ania: YOU GUYS ARE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE rofl
James: Go. To. Hell.
Sikes: WAR! scream
Leon: My arm! gonk
James: Aw, s**t.
John: I'M CRAZY AND MUTE
Leon: My kitty! My back! gonk
James: Aw, s**t.
Victor: JESUS CHRIST LEAVE ME ALONE. ;.;
James: I AM CHOKING ON A COUGH DROP OVER HERE HELP.
Fannie: ninja
Sikes: WAR! scream
(The END)
... don't ask me to explain that.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:02 pm
erikakaiser xd I don't know why, but that made me lol.
Suppose I could do another one of these. :B
For My NaNo '06:
Sophitia: GACK, I'M DEADS.
James: I hate my job. I hate this town. I need coffee. b***h, whine.
Leon: Just your friendly neighborhood creepy-a** quiet immigrant.
(JAMES starts trying to SOLVE the MURDER)
John: I SWEAR TO DRUNK OFFICER I'M NOT GOD
Victor: Shoes? We don't need no stinkin' shoes! lol
Fannie: LEON LET ME HAVE YOUR BABIES KTHX
(JAMES moves in with LEON because his ROOF caves IN)
Ania: YOU GUYS ARE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE rofl
James: Go. To. Hell.
Sikes: WAR! scream
Leon: My arm! gonk
James: Aw, s**t.
John: I'M CRAZY AND MUTE
Leon: My kitty! My back! gonk
James: Aw, s**t.
Victor: JESUS CHRIST LEAVE ME ALONE. ;.;
James: I AM CHOKING ON A COUGH DROP OVER HERE HELP.
Fannie: ninja
Sikes: WAR! scream
(The END)
... don't ask me to explain that. *blink* *blink* *stare* Wait, what? xd
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:01 pm
I told you not to ask! xd
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:11 am
What, and you honestly expect me obey blindly your every command? Especially that one?
You can't just post incoherent babblementation about characters half of with whom I am familiar (one of with whom I had a hot steamy affair) and tell me NOT TO ASK. scream
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:42 pm
jestingly.yours What, and you honestly expect me obey blindly your every command? Especially that one? You can't just post incoherent babblementation about characters half of with whom I am familiar (one of with whom I had a hot steamy affair) and tell me NOT TO ASK. scream
And I'll explain it to you next time we're on MSN.
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:41 pm
Okay, now I have to. Just as an excuse to revisit my dear old dead story.
For Red Sky in the Morning:
(MOIRA and ZEREK take their KIDS to the CIRCUS.)
Zerek: Start, dammit.
Random bad guys: ATTACK!
Moira & Zerek: OMGAR.
(They DIE.)
Raven: OMG mommy. ; 3;
(Lots of YEARS pass. RAVEN grows UP and joins the CIRCUS.)
Raven: OMG I hallucinate about my childhood.
(She does so.)
Raven: Oh help me I'm being chased by drunks!
Nan: To the rescue!
(NAN takes RAVEN to the UNDERGROUND, where they meet PEOPLE.)
Strider: Saurkraut over a hot potato with butter. 3nodding
Perin: I ARR AN OVERBEARING OLDER BROTHER.
(On another PLANET...)
Aiselyn: *angst*
Veralae: *foreshadow*
Fayore: Whatever. ^_^
(AISELYN and FAYORE go to the OTHER PLANET.)
Akira: I AM MYSTERIOUS! *waves fan*
Strider: I PUT COCKROACHES IN UR SAMMICHES LOL. mrgreen
Aiselyn: LET US IN.
Fayore: *mumbo-jumbo*
Raziel: OMGAR FOREIGNERS.
Becka: Have some tea. ^_^
(At the CIRCUS.)
Misty: I'M BORED.
Cadell: *blah blah* Etiquette *lecture lecture* act like the Princess you are *yadda yadda*
Raven: I dance for you!
Cadell: I stalk you!
Perin: I ride horseback for you!
Misty: OMGAR. heart
(MISTY and CADELL stalk PERIN and RAVEN. They all fall in LOVE respectively.)
Misty: *b***h, whine* I hate being a Princess.
Tristan: I KEELZ U!
Misty: Nice try. *pwns*
Tristan: *foreshadows*
Cadell: Fair madien Raven! heart
(RAVEN and EVERYONE ELSE dream about CADELL'S ASSASSINATION.)
Everyone: O NOES! WE MUST STOP THIS THING FROM HAPPENING.
(They PLOT.)
(They PLAN.)
Perin: *drowns*
Misty: *mouth-to-mouth*
Orae: The less you can see, the less you trip over! ^_^
D.C.: Y HALO THAR I'M DYING.
Raziel: BURN IN HELL.
Becka: *cries*
Raven: *angst*
Cadell: HEHEHEHEHEIMCRAZYNOW. rofl
Strider: Breakfast is signalled with a silver spoon. 3nodding
(More PLOTS.)
Cadell: I SAY TO HELL WITH UR PLOTS! *gets poisoned*
Raven: gonk
Misty: Well, time to quest.
(They do so.)
Suna: Go to Isle Drakaar.
D.C.: lol it's named after me!
(SUNA and D.C. have an affair in the background.)
Cadell: OMGAR DYING.
Raven: onoes. ;.;
Misty: We'll just chuck him in the Fountain of Lions.
(They do so. He gets BETTER.)
Random bad guy: ATTACK!
Strider: OMGAR! *injured*
(They head home.)
Other random bad guy: ATTACK!
Strider: OMGAR! *grievously wounded*
Cadell: *b*****d mode*
Misty: *b***h, whine*
Akira: *Cure3*
Strider: I'm better now! ^_^
Cadell: Marry me, Raven.
Raven: Yes. ^_^
(The END.)
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:23 am
Foxglove (the main plot):
Shigure, Ike and Yogan: We are evil.
Shigure: I am going to hurt myself inexplicably.
Does so.
Fubuki: He is dead!
Ike: No... he's not.
Fubuki: Aw.
Kokouko: Yarh, I am the head of the Kakos! Phear me. twisted
Shigure: And now you are dead.
Kokouko: So I am.
Dies. Maybe.
Shigure: domokun I am all powerful. I will now... destroy the world. Grah.
Everyone else: Crap.
Stuff happens.
Ike and Yogan: We are dead. Maybe.
Shigure: Oh crap!
Kokoro: Give it up, wannabe Hitler.
Shigure: Make me!
Akiru: Okay.
He does.
Shigure: ... crap. I die now.
He doesn't.
Shigure: Why am I alive?
Akiru: Because we love you!
Shigure: Okay, I'm just going to go and kill myself now rather than be saved cornily like this.
Teh End.
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