He Had To Do What He Had To Do To Be Happy
The park was starting to grow chilli as Mark waited for James to arrive.
"The wind is picking up." he thought to himself "I wonder what is keeping him?"
Mark glanced down at his watch to check the time.
"5:23, I've been waiting here for half an hour. I don't understand him he always keeps me waiting like this. He's probably just now starting to get ready! I can't believe him!"
Mark finds a bench a few steps away and sits, he imediatly stands back up and starts to pace.
"I swear, he was supposed to be here by now I can't wait all day. I am seriously only giving him ten more minutes. I don't get him, everytime we make plans he shows up an hour late, I knew this was going to happen."
By now the people walking past are stareing in his direction.
"s**t!" he thinks "I really need to learn how to be mad at him in my head now everyone thinks I'm crazy" "Ok, that's it, I'm done! I am leaving"
Mark starts his walk towards his house. As he walks he can't help but think of when he and James first decided to be together. It was two years ago when they were both still in high school, they were two years apart, and had been friends ever since they could remember. Mark remembered it so clearly that the almost theatre clear picture rolls through his mind.
He was in his sophmore year and they had came out to eachother not three weeks before. James being as sly as he was had arranged a meeting after school via a note he slipped into Marks locker.
Hey,
Meet me by the gaurdrail after school, I want to ask you something important.
Jim
Of course Mark knew where the guardrail was, but he had never ventured near it because it was where the seniors hung out and smoked after school before they went home. Sure enough James was waiting for him. He was talking to a rather large group of his friends when Mark arrived.
Noticing his arrival James excused himself from the convorsation and lead Mark to a spot where everyone could see them. The voices started to play with the picture show in his mind.
"What did you want to ask me?" Mark was in a hurry and his voice sounded it. He needed to get home and finish the lawn work before his parents got there and killed him.
"Oh, thats right I had a question!" Now that Mark thought about it the tone in James' voice and his sudden innocence should have given it away.
"Yeah, I got the note, what is it? I have to get home before my par..."
Before Mark could finish his sentence James had leaned in and kissed him. It wasn't just a peck either, he must have been practicing this one for quite some time to make it as perfect as it was.
James finally pulled away after what seemed to Mark as hours and asked him in his best romantic voice. "So what do you say, will you make me the luckiest boy in town?"
*shower time then bed I will finish some other time*
Mark couldn't believe it, what he had been wanting for three years was finally happening. Only now there was a large group of seniors watching intently and laughing their heads off about the "Homos" that had just kissed. He was so embarassed and angry that he couldn't answer, but instead pushed James away and ran off.
Mark ran the whole way home crying, embarassed about the seniors comments and angry that James would just out him like that in front of everyone.
As he sat in his room that night thinking things over he didn't think he could face the people in school again. As he pondered this the phone rang.
"Marcus, get down here it's James" he didn't want to go, but his mother would continue yelling if he didn't
He picked up the phone in his room "I got it mom."
"What do you want?" he asked james with as much attitude as he could muster.
"I just wanted to ask what happened earlier? Do you not like me? I'm so confused right now. Please just tell me what is wrong"
"Nothing is wrong except now everyone knows that I'm a f**, thanks for that one by the way!! What made you think that that was even close to a good idea?"
James was silent for a good 2 minutes which made Mark uneasy. When James finally spoke it was quite. "I just thought that if we were to be together I wanted the whole world to know, not just our parents."(they had helped eachother in that department already) "I really like you and I just thought that as long as we have been friends you would understand that feeling."
Great now Mark felt like a large pile of s**t. "I do understand the feeling it was just a surprise and the other kids were laughing and calling us homos and queers. I just got scared, if you would like we can try it over."
"No its ok I just need an answer." It sounded as if James was about to cry, probably scared of rejection.
"Why don't you come over and we can talk when you get here?" Mark was so excited, he was finally going to be able to hug his best friend not only as such, but also as a lover.
"Ok, I'll be over in a few minutes." Considering James was a 18, and had his license and a car he was going to drive over and just leave from there for school tomorrow. "I will see you when I get there. Bye."
"Bye." Mark put the phone down and rushed to take a quick shower.
Mark stepped out of the shower and made his way to his room. He stepped in and closed the door only to be surprised from behind him.
"Hey there, I didn't know there was going to be entertainment at this here get together." James started to whistle at Mark knowing that if he did it long enough Mark would start to blush. Sure enough as he was letting out his second whistle Mark turned completely red.
"God you scared the s**t out of me." Mark covered his heart thankful that the towel around his waist was wrapped secuerly. "When did you get here?"
"I actually just got here, your mom said you were in your room. I figured I would come up and we could talk, but I got up here and all I could hear was the shower. So I decided to wait here for you." James was now grining and blushing himself.
"Cool, so about earlier after school, I didn't mean it. Like I said I was scared and I do have an answer for you." Mark dropped his towel and started walking closer to where james sat on his bed. "As you know we have been friends for quite sometime now, but what you didn't know is that I have been wanting you for over three years now. I just didn't know how you felt about me."
James was begining to get hot, and his pants were all of a sudden to tight. The color in his cheecks from blushing started to intesify. "I feel the same way as you can tell" James looked down and then glanced back up at his friend. So does this mean you will make me the luckiest boy in town?"
Mark was comletely turned on by now as he answered James' question. "Yes, but only under one condition. You make me just as lucky." He knew that this was a corny thing to say, but it just felt right at the time.
They both glanced to the clock. Midnight, they both knew this meant Mark's parents were long since in bed and sleeping. So they feel asleep that night in eachothers arms, but not before kissing passionatly and telling eachother that they were completely happy.
**Ok again I must leave for a shower I will finish it off tomorrow night**
**Couldn't think of anything tonight so I decided to leave it for another day**
As he retreated out of his memories and back to reality Mark was about five blocks from his front door. Cold and hungry all he could think of was getting home and sulking in his room. He still couldn't get over how stupid he was for thinking tonight would be different. Knowing James he was probably sleeping.
Just as Mark turned the corner towards his house he saw him, James was rushing, finally getting remotely close to the park where they were supposed to meet.
As Mark thought back on all the times he was dissapointed because of James' lack of consideration for other's feelings. He decided he was done with it, he was finally just done. Mark made the fast decision to dump James and finally be done with the heartache, done with the hurt, and done with the loneliness.
James finally saw him. "Hey hon sorry I'm late" He sounded sincerely sorry, but of course he had sounded it countless times before.
"Hey, I was just on my way back home. I got hungry and my mom probably has dinner ready, besides it's pretty cold out here." Mark was just making excuses now, he didn't really want to do much of anything tonight anymore.
"Oh, well if you're hungry why don't we go grab something to eat at Maria's" James knew Mark loved Italian.
"Ok, Sounds good to me." Saying this all the while thinking, damn him for knowing my weaknesses. "I have something I want to talk about anyways." There it was the setup for breakup.
"Good, I can't wait to talk, I have missed you." Missing him was no lie Mark and James had not seen eachother other for a good 2 weeks. Due to the distance between them while he was away at college. "Then maybe we can go back to my place and hang."
"Yeah, maybe." He didn't know why he was leading him on now, he knew the date wouldn't get that far.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As they sat eating dinner Mark kept thinking of all the times they sat in this very restraunt just talkin and loving eachother.
"so, babe what is it you wanted to talk about?"
Mark froze up, how should he do it? He never had to do this before.
"Well, sweetie. I was just thinking about something earlier while I was waiting for you." Mark stopped there for a few minutes thinking.
Thinking about how much James hurt him all the time, and how much he was sick of being second to everything, but then he started thinking of how happy James made him and how much better his life had been since that night in his bedroom two years ago. He had to make a decision quick. He loved James, but he didn't want to be hurt anymore, so he did what he had to do to be happy.
"I think we should finally get a place together." Like he had decided, he had to do what he had to do to be happy.
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