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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:15 pm
This is a fic I wrote for Kenta. It's just an adaption of a skit scene he did XD
Yay!!
Its humor and it has some cursing here and there! -------------------------
Those who lived on Tales avenue…
One early summer morning in the Tales avenue neighborhood most of the residents were still resting; but not the new couple that has recently moved in…
A young brunette man in a horribly home made outfit of a red rubber shirt and black leather pants supported by suspenders grinned as he walked over to his nearest neighbor’s home. “Heh, I need to make some new friends! Nothing like friendship!” He laughed heartedly. Reaching the Alvien residence he tossed a small rock at their window. “Good morning!!” He sung out loudly.
A blonde woman lazily opened her blue eyes and nudged her blonde haired husband to ask him a question. “Cless, who is that yelling outside our home?”
Cless sat up yawning and rubbing his tired brown eyes. “Huh?”
“HEY, ALVIEN GUYS!”
Cless scratched his head and sighed. “Our new far too happy neighbors…”
Mint frowned. “But it’s six in the morning…”
Cless was fixing to get out of the bed and fix the problem for his dear wife. “I’ll just go out there and majinken him and-” He was interrupted as she lightly pulled on his bare arm.
“Let’s just go back to bed, he’ll go away…”
“Okay…” Cless sighed with disappointment and got back into the bed.
After another minuet of yelling, Mint clawed onto Cless’ arm. “Go kick his a**…” She hissed, covering her head with her pillow.
“Yes, dear,” he yawned out and walked over to the door, grabbing his sword that rested by the bedroom door and began his way to the outdoors to kill their annoying new neighbor that was interrupting their sleep. Outside the tall friendly blonde, Stan was mowing his lawn as he saw the sleepy Cless dragging his sword behind him with his free hand balled into an angry fist. Being concerned he called out to him. “Hey, Cless! You’re normally not out this early, what’s up?”
“Haha! Hi, Cless!!” the brunette excitedly called out to him.
Stan cringed at the voice and waved for Cless to come over to him
Cless then groggily walked over to him and grunted as to say ‘hi, I am trying to say hi, but I am far too pissed off and murderous to do so.’
Stan whispered to him looking over to their annoying neighbor. “Oh yeah, that new guy, Lloyd… I beat him up yesterday ‘cause he was bugging us. His wife was too… What an annoying pair…”
Cless was curious about Lloyd’s wife, as to how annoying she was herself. “His wife is annoying too?”
Stan nodded. “Yeah, seriously, at least Rutee took care of her…”
“Hey guys!!” Lloyd cheered as he ran his way over to him.
Stan panicked and punched Cless’ shoulder. “Quick, do something!!” Cless ran down onto the street and hollered. “Majinken!” As a bolt wave fiercely traveled its way to Lloyd and knocked him into the bushes away from them.
“Augh!!” Lloyd cried in pain from the bushes.
“Majinken, majinken, majinken, MAJINKEN!” Cless desperately cried as he watched all the waves travel to where Lloyd last was.
…Silence.
Stan’s voice was shakey as if a monster was trying to eat his soul. “Y’think he’s dead..?”
Cless slowly nodded. “I-I think so…”
Stan cleared his throat. “Well, now that’s out of the way… I’ll continue.”
Cless nodded in response.
“Y’know that villain place down the road?”
“Yeah, what about it?” Cless asked, scratching the back of his head confused.
“Rutee sold her off and she’s quite happy with the money she’s made!” Stan explained with his arms crossed. “I normally wouldn’t say this but… good riddance…”
“Seriously…” Cless sighed. “I’m not even sleepy anymore,” he whined and bowed his head down in sadness.
“It’s cool, man… It’s cool…” Stan said as he pats Cless on the back trying to cheer him up.
In the villainous area… Two evil blonde men were being deprived of whatever sanity they had left. The taller blonde in unique clothing hard to explain, Dhaos, was tightly gripping onto his head with his eyes shut, being tortured to the extreme! “My…” he groaned.
A little blonde woman with huge blue eyes and a large excited smile talked and talked and talked… “And then we can play monopoly! Oh! And uh…UHHH…have sugary ice cream and!!”
Dhaos turned over to his friend, a shorter guy, Miktran. “Why did we buy that Collette woman exactly..?” he asked in a distressed whisper as he continued to hold his head…
Miktran was rubbing his temples. “For torture purposes…”
“She’s the one torturing us!” Dhaos growled urging to evaporate her with his infamous ‘Dhaos laser’. “Let’s just dump her into a random lawn!”
“Good idea!” Miktran agreed.
“Dhaos hun~”
“Ah, thankfully my wife Martel is calling me…” Dhaos quietly sung to himself and left. Quickly.
Miktran sighed. “Just when I think I would score, I don’t…”
A teal haired man in a blue clad opened his window shades to see Collette mindlessly smiling at the sky and twirling her hair. Being confused he turned to his lovely blonde hair wife. “Claaaaaiiiiireeee.” He literary whined for her attention.
“What is it, Vaigue?” She asked strolling to his side.
Vagiue pointed to the window. “Claaaaiirem who is that person mindlessly grinning on our lawn?”
Claire sighed. “Do you always have to whine and drag out my name?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know who she is, but she’s coming to our doo-“ Collette came running into the guest room they were in and waved happily. “Hi, I’m Collette Irving- uh, wait, Aurion! No… uhm… Brunel… wait, IRVINGBRUNELAURION!!” She yelled happily.
Claire and Vaigue looked at each other. Disturbed.
“...it's a remnant of Yuris, get rid of it before I freeze again.” Claire stated, walking far away from Collette.
“Yes, mam!” Vaigue grabbed Collette by her arm and tossed her across the street, closed his own door and smiled at his wife; hoping she was pleased with his task he had done for her.
“Now our neighbors will have to deal with that thing…”
Vaigue gave his wife a thumbs up. “Don’t worry! You know who lives across the street, right?”
Claire tilted her head. “No… who does?”
Vaigue looked surprised. “Claaaaiiire, you don’t know??”
Growing tired of the way he continuously drags her name out, she slapped him on the back of his head. “Stop that.”
“Yes’m…” Vaigue whined, dominated once more.
Over at the Coolidge residence Mr. Coolidge, Senel, was being blabbered to the point of death; in more ways than one. “Uh-huh. Yeah, got it…” He mindlessly responded to her, hoping she’d stop, run out of breath and or just drop dead. But she didn’t.
“It looks like you two have such a lovely marriage and!!” Collette just wouldn’t stop, and it didn’t help she had such a loud and lively voice…
Senel actually paid attention to her last sentence and rubbed the back of his head. “Actually… it was kind of forced…”
His short, possessive and envious wife steppe dhow with her hands angrily on her hips. “Say something bad, Senel and I’ll blow up the world!” She threatened.
Senel sighed and bowed his head down in depression, thinking… “I hate my life…”
Senel’s wife, Shirley had then angrily tossed Collette screaming. “He’s MY husband!!”
Collette had then landed on Caius’ lawn.
Caius was in his wolf form and sniffed her. “…Are you dead?” He asked only to be taken by surprised as she squealed lightly and began to pet him.
“Wolfie!!” She squealed louder.
“Ah! Get away!!” He roared and tossed her off of his lawn and away from him…
A loud thud caused a brown haired woman, who was reading to life her head from the book and turn to her red haired husband, Luke. “Luke, what was that?”
He groaned picking his ear in boredom in his lazy man chair. “I dunno, Tear. Nor do I care…”
Tear glared at him. “Check it out. Now.” She demanded.
Luke sighed and got up to check what has landed on their lawn. Outside he saw Collette with her hands clasped together apologetically. “Oh, I'm sorry, I landed on your lawn, that was rude of me. My name is Collette Irvingbrunelaurion!”
Luke sighed and continued to pick his ear in boredom. “...Okay. Go play somewhere.” He stated, waving her off.
Collette frowned. “I don’t know where I live!”
“....Collette, this is the fifth freakin' time this week. You live next-door, go home.” He sighed and went back into his own home.
Stan was sitting in a lawn chair, drinking some ice tea with his short, dark haired wife, Rutee by his side doing the same. That is until he noticed Collette waddling her way towards them. Stan had then coughed on his ice tea and dropped his glass. “Oh god, she found her way back, Rutee!” He cried.
Rutee sighed and lifted her sunglasses onto her forehead. “Well, that sucks…” She mumbled.
“Yeah, she’s going to bother us!” He whined covering his face with his hands.
Rutee crossed her arms and huffed. “Not that, I mean what if the people I sold her to wants a refund?”
“Rutee!!” Stan yelled in distress at what she had said. How could she think that at a time like this??
Cless quickly ran away. “This is no longer my problem, I had dealt with that Lloyd guy!”
”Traitor!!” Stan cried, but alas, Cless already slammed his door shut.
“Hi!!” Collette exclaimed loudly.
Stan and Rutee winced at her loud voice… Stan didn’t know what to do, so he called his son. “Kyle! Get you and your girlfriend out here, now!”
Kyle came out of the house with messed up hair, a badly buttoned shirt and an annoyed facial expression at his dad. “Daaaad,” he whined getting ready to throw a fit. “Reala and I were having a ‘moment’!”
Reala giggled as she hid behind Kyle in embarrassment.
Stan eyebrow twticted as he groaned. “Rutee, cellphone!”
Rutee tossed Stan her cellphone and resumed drinking her tea.
Stan dialed a number and waited for the other line to pick up. “Hello?” A person on the other end asked.
“Yes, bring the ‘executioner’ here, PLEASE! A.S.A.P!”
“Okay, sir. It sounds pretty bad to ask him over…”
After a long agonizing wait with Collette’s talking a large truck with ‘Exterminators INC’ on it parked itself in front of Stan’s home. After the truck was parked, a tall, tanned blue haired man with a horrifyingly huge axe on his back came out. “The ‘executioner’, Barbatos is here! Who dies today?” He asked, giving the crowd a sadistic grin.
Stan had then angrily pointed to the talking Collette.
Barbatos furrowed his eyebrows at Stan. “a*****e, y’know I am still on parole for killing that Chole b***h!”
“We’ll gladly pay for you getting out of jail!!” Rutee yelled from her seat waving out to him.
“We will?!” Stan asked confused at her decision.
Rutee signaled. “Yep!!”
Stan paled, he knew that bail bill for Barbatos was high, that man is the most infamous man out there…”Barbatos grabbed the screaming Collette and tossed her into the truck.
“There is another one in the bushes…” Stan said, pointing to the bushes not too far away.
Barbatos shrugged. “Is he alive?”
”No…”
”Not my job.” He stated and hopped into the truck. “You better pay the fifth teen-thousand gald!!” HE yelled out and droved away.
Stan sat down next to his wife again and sighed.
“We’re really not going to pay.” Rutee reassured.
“What if he tried to kill us?!”
Rutee grinned. “Highly doubt it…”
In the court room, the Judge, Van grants ruled. “The court finds Barbatos innocent!”
“What?!” A small half elf boy yelled, slamming his hands on his table. He began to pull his spiky silver hair. “He killed my bestfriends!!” he pleaded in disbelief.
Van waved him off. “Shut up, I couldn’t sleep with those two harassing me at two in the morning…”
Barbatos smirked evily at Genius and flipped him off as to say. ‘Served, b***h!’.
END
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:10 pm
*Headdesk headdesk headdesk headdesk*
XDD. Poor Lloyd and Colette... o_o; BRUNELIRVINGAURION or however it went outta be the most retarded family name ever. >_> It sounds 1/3 french, 1/3 irish and 1/3 cool greek. And the funniest part, I bet Kratos wouldn't eve care. surprised XD; AND YOU KILLED CHLOE. T___T I'd actually get to like Chloe, if I played ToL... T__T
BUT I LIKE, LOVE LAWNS NOW. xD; You virtually dropped Collet everywhere. XD And Barbie and Van are the pwns. Cless and Stanh'd make such good drinking buddies. XD Nice. So are you gonna write more? whee
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