Okay, so once upon a time this saucer slams into Delmor. Not the kind you set your teacup on, mind you, but the kind the government swarms over and covers up. Anyway, the army arrives to swarm over the downed spaceship and try to cover it up. A man named General Spanky leads the effort, renaming the crash site “Area 42.” Josh, who is working over at Delmor Cinemas, happens to see the crash and decides to go check it out. When he arrives, in full costume, the guards turn him away. General Spanky notices Josh’s visit, however, and is intrigued, inquiring as to who the caped albino might be.
Now, the funny thing about saucers is that everyone seems to want one. Sure enough, the saucer is stolen that evening. Also that evening, Josh decides to spend some quality time with his close friend, Cait. He finds her in the usual state, up to her eyeballs in work and out of her mind with caffeine. With some coaxing, Josh is able to get Cait out of her room to take a walk with him over to Pick Pocket Park. Here, they have a horrendously cheesy romantic moment in which Josh confesses his feelings for her. Taking the concept of “swooning” to a whole new level, Cait chooses this as the ideal time to succumb to a narcoleptic fit. Random passerby Mitch saves the day when he helps Pasty bring Cait to his apartment, out of the rain (Wait, did I mention that it was raining?). While waiting for Cait to wake up, Mitch and Josh exchange small talk. Soon, however, Cait is awake and Josh takes her home. On his way out of the door, however, he promises to visit Mitch at the restaurant (which he never does, the jerk). Cait and Josh have an awkward moment on her doorstep and then they both go to sleep.
Elsewhere in the park, Mother Superior has set a trap for the fiendish GI Jew (Oh, we are so going to hell). Genghis Tron happens to wander by, accidentally aiding the Jew’s capture.
The next day, General Spanky calls a meeting of local heroes in Area 42. Seeing the announcement, Cait realizes she has too much work to go and decides to get some coffee over at Espresso Eddie’s. While she is there, she meets the emotionally unstable Julius. Oh, and almost gets hit by a piano. Then, she faints. Thankfully, at the very moment, Josh happens to be driving by on his way to the Area 42 meeting and takes her home.
Meanwhile, the Area 42 hero shindig is well underway. Not ten minutes after his arrival, Mitch is mistaken for a waiter and put to work. Genghis Tron is there, as well as the Riveting Super Spaniard and a handful of other heroes whose names aren’t nearly as awesome to say. At long last, Josh makes his arrival as Captain Pasty. After Pasty is brought up to speed, General Spanky announces that there has been suspicious activity in an abandoned warehouse at the edge of town. Before anyone can leave, however, Captain Pasty dubs the gathered heroes the League of Special Individuals! Then he, Tron, and the Spaniard head off for the warehouse while Photocopy is handed a humiliating mockery for posting “ooc” in the “IC” forum. Mitch and Mother Superior also tag along behind.
Pasty and Tron quickly arrive at the warehouse (Sadly, the Super Spaniard left for greener pastures) and carefully investigate. It turns out to be an ambush set up by The Politician’s goons. They rough up the Captain, steal some of his hair, and leave without do much as a goodbye.
Around that same time, The Politician is enjoying a snack at Rear Entrance Funnel Cakes. Julius arrives, has another breakdown, and changes into Super Duper Broadway Man before killing some random dude. The Politician decides to take the homicidal actor under his wing and encourages him to come back to his manor. They arrive at the seaside estate in time to meet the goons returning from the ambush. Mother Nature, The Politician’s somewhat adopted daughter, also arrives… and then, she vanishes. Using the stolen hair, some tanning oil, and The Root of All Evil, Commander Bronzed is created.
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