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 Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:32 pm
I've been talking to this new girl for a couple weeks or so and she's very quiet, so it takes a lot of effort on my part to get her to talk. I've tried a lot of things and they all seem to work, but she doesn't say much unless I ask her questions.
I'd like to know what others' experiences are with people like this whether in a relationship with them or not. What'd you do to get them to talk more?
Also she's one to keep her problems to herself. I really wish she'd come to me with problems, if she has any, but it's ok if she doesn't. I just worry that this could be a problem to her. She will listen to others' problems, though and try to help from what she told me.
What do I do? I really like her so far.
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:50 pm
Well, I did know a girl once who was very much keeping to herself. The thing is, even though I made an effort to get to know her better, I failed. And she moved away after one year. So yeh, I suppose I really don't have any advice, except possibly that you'd better be ready to put a LOT of effort into this if you're going to follow trough.
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:37 pm
So we got on the topic of Sailor Moon and she wouldn't shut up. LOL!
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:45 am
Yeah, I forgot to tell you that. Once you find a topic that the other person likes, they've always got lots to talk about. Same with the one I talked about up there (her topic was horses.)
Good that everything seems to be working out! 3nodding
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:45 pm
Yeah, but there have to be more topics, especially some that are more personal and not just interest based.
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Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:42 pm
Yes, but they feel very insecure when not talking about the areas they are familiar with. It's sort of like stage fright.
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:41 am
Do you think it's best that we find more topics, especially broader ones before we meet up in person?
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 2:46 am
It's good, though trust me when I say it's HARD. I mean, really, really, hard. It'll take time for her to open up, altough once she has, she might even become a bit too talkative. Nothing I'd see as something bad, but just so you know. If I'm right, it'll take a long time though.
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 1:04 pm
We've known each other online for about a month now. And as much as I want to meet her, I think it's best to wait till I get her to talk a little more. What do you think. It'd be a shame to meet and not have anything to talk about. I'd worry, then whether it'd go anywhere. Maybe it'd depend on what we do.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:16 pm
A month is barely any time at all. You really should wait longer before you meat, say, at least a half year in my recommendation. In addidtion, for the first meeting, you might want both her and you to bring a friend of yours, just to make sure that neither she nor you are some creepy old man. Of course, this is in a way a double-edged sword, but you might at least want to consider this.
Also, when you decide to meet each other, if you don't know each other pretty good, there is a great risk that you'll run out of things to talk about.
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 1:05 pm
Good point. If she asks I'll let her know what I think.
I have to say the first time I met someone from online, it was a flop. We hadn't even known each other a month and she doesn't talk much either. I got bad vibes from her. Not bad as in she's a bad person, but more like she's not quite the right person. Also talking that that person's friend it seemed she was cold, so yeah that was a bad experience. I'm not making that mistake again. At least she didn't turn out to be a 45 year old man or anything.
However the wait for a half year seems a little much, but on the other hand maybe not. Maybe it's more like when you feel it's the right time rather than 6 months. But either way I'm waiting till it not only feels right, but logically seems like a good idea. I'll weigh out the idea a little.
Heh my mental health councilor met someone online and she did something you really shouldn't do when meeting someone for the first time. She went to the guy's house. His roommate collects guns, which would scare me. He's a cop and actually (lucky for her) he turned out to be a nice guy and now they're engaged.
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 1:43 pm
That's... an odd relationship your teacher got there... Not to mention lucky.
Anyway, yeah, maybe six months is a bot too long, but you obviously get the point. Seems to me like you're all set for now. You know who and where to ask if you wonder anything else.
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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