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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 9:03 am
Many centuries ago, there once existed a glorious kingdom called Olisa. It was named after its very first ruler and founder, Claudette Olisa. She was an excellent ruler who cared more about the people around her than her own life. She could often be found either walking around the kingdom or in her 3 mile long and 3 mile wide garden. Many believed that her skill as a warrior was equal to that of her care for the kingdom. Truly, she was one of the most beloved rulers in all of the kingdom's history. But that's another story, so let's move on.
As said before, the kingdom was glorious, if not magnificent (it was one of those "you had to see it" type of places). The citizens were all quite friendly. Poverty didn't exist and everyone held a great amount of trust towards one another. Rarely was the kingdom attacked, but when it was the army heavily and swiftly crushed the opposition. Yes, life was good in the kingdom, but those times did sadly come to an end.
The Kingdom of Olisa had many great and beloved rulers, but it also had not-so-good rulers who were usually kicked off of the throne. But there were also horrible rulers who were greatly feared and even greater hated. These rulers held successive lines and ruled with greedy, lusty, vile, iron fists of unrelenting fury and evil. These rulers were the reason why the kingdom died and why the castle, or the small villages around it are no longer standing. This downfall of the kingdom began with King Solomon Lin, who succeded to the throne by killing his father, the noble King Jin. After making it to the throne and becoming king, Solomon brought upon a cruel reign of tyranny upon the denizens of the kingdom. He brought heavy taxes, public executions, and enforced strict, sinister, vile, rules that many people simply could not follow. Often, even if someone could follow the rules, they were punished and/or executed for no reason at all. Many were executed, houses foreclosed and/or destroyed. The skies above the kingdom became dark, for the sun refused to shine its light upon the ruined kingdom. Things only became worse after Queen Tyra took over and after her, King Byron. Times in the kingdom went from bad to worse as the "Succession of Evil" (as it came to be called) became longer. After about 300 years of this, the people finally decided that it was time for change; a time for action; a time for WAR!
The people were tired of the "Succession of Evil" and decided to take up arms and rebel. They decided that it would be better to die fighting against their evil rulers and attempt to restore the kingdom's once great beauty, than to die and do nothing at all. Every last denizen of the kingdom gathered anything and everything that they could use as a weapon. Basically, they gathered just about everything they could, from dirt & rocks to bricks & anvils. Every last man, woman, and child fought against the corrupted rulers and their vile army. Many soldiers and knights also decided to fight alongside the rebels, knowing that their honor was based solely upon protecting the people and was more valuable than any amount of money. The war was on and the biggest battle that the Kingdom of Olisa would ever witness ever again was under way.
The final battle of the kingdom was in effect. Bodies of the fallen rebels and corrupted army cluttered both the streets and the castle grounds. The homes of the rebels lay in ruin. Fire and rubble was all that was left of them. The smell of death and desolation lay heavily in the air. The kingdom strong walls of the kingdom were obliterated and the castle itself was in horrible condition. The battle still raged on as both sides fought with great vigor and high morale. On the final day of the war, a brave and gravely wounded rebel soldier named Serenity killed the last of the vile rulers and forever ended the "Succession of Evil". As soon as she killed the ruler, the skies miraculously cleared up and the sun's bright light rained down upon the kingdom. Shortly after seeing this beautiful sight, Serenity, the last remaining denizen of the kingdom, died. As soon as she died, the remains of the once beautiful Kingdom of Olisa fell and became nothing but a mere memory. And that was the end, the final chapter, of the once glorious Kingdom of Olisa.
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:44 pm
I really liked it! It seemed sort of like a small history/story that a character in a book might tell. Sort of like a smaller story within a larger story. I can't think of any specific corrections for it, except that if you ever do write a longer story or short book it would make a really nice legend for one of the characters to tell.
ninja
P.S.: I love your signature!
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:22 pm
Thanks. I made that one long ago. I believe it was the first story that I had written in years. More than likely I'll reference to it in an RP one day.
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:46 pm
DUDE! that is SOOO amazing! it could be used for so many things! get it published! or turn it in as a backround story for a video game based on the legend of the kingdom of olisa! man, that is awesome! i felt it! right here, in my heart! i was breathing the words in, like life energy! such a wonderfull story, and a magnificent description!
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