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Quack Experimental Fanfic
Azumanga Saga

Disclaimer
Yes, I do own both Excel Saga and Azumanga Daioh! Of course I do! Bwahahahaha-What? What do you mean I don’t? Koshi Rikdo? Kiyohiko Azuma? Who the hell?

I do, however, own this fanfic. Steal it and Chiyo-chichi will be unpleased.
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The screams of thousands of cheering fans filled the arena, as spotlights shone down on the boxing ring below. In one corner, Koshi Rikdo, struggling manga artist, did a few warm-up stretches. In the other, Chiyo-chichi floated serenely.

The bell rang, and Koshi dashed across the ring, yelling loudly, “I hereby give my permission to merge the worlds of Excel Saga and Azumanga Daioh!” slamming a fist into Chiyo-chichi’s gut. As he pulled his fist back, his glove left indents in Chiyo-chichi’s stomach, in the shape of the author’s familiar stamped signature.

Chiyo-chichi glanced down at the mark, slowly turning a dark red as his gaze moved to Koshi. Floating slowly across the ring, he yelled in a deep voice, “How DARE you!”
Koshi gulped and turned pale.

A massive explosion followed a shrill, girlish scream shortly afterwards.
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It all started with the penguins…
Oh god, the penguins…
Oh. Wait. Wrong story.
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“Hail Ilpalazzo!!!” Excel screamed in her usual opening to the leader of the secret ideological organization known as ACROSS. Hyatt, as usual, followed with her customary “…zzo!”

Looking up from where he sat, Ilpalazzo exclaimed, “The world is corrupt! Not only that, but the future of the world, nay, ACROSS’s world, is growing darker by the day!”

“Then, great and mighty Lord Ilpalazzo, in an effort to brighten the future of the world and its masses, might I suggest dropping packages of light bulbs from the air to countries worldwide?” Excel interrupted.

Ilpalazzo stared at Excel for a moment, before reaching up and pulling a thick rope. A trapdoor opened beneath Excel’s feet, and she fell down into its depths.

Raising her hand, Hyatt asked, “Lord Ilpalazzo, in an effort to pull what will be ACROSS’s world out of the darkness, might I suggest that we start teaching the goals of ACROSS to those who are still young?”

Ignoring Excel’s cries of “Oh god, the penguins!!!”, Ilpalazzo nodded. “Very good, Agent Hyatt. You do have a way of getting right to the point.” Ilpalazzo pressed a button on his throne, causing a large screen to descend from the ceiling. On the screen was projected the image of a large school. “Plan #12345679! The two of you shall infiltrate this high school, and convert as many students as you can to the ways of ACROSS!” Ilpalazzo continued. “With your…talents, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble blending in with the student population.”

At a snap of Ilpalazzo’s fingers, a Puchuu walked in, handing a folder to Hyatt. Excel finally finished climbing out of the hole, and peered over Hyatt’s shoulder as she opened it. The folder contained only one paper, a dossier. The picture contained within said dossier showed a young woman, with a very angry look on her face, lashing out at an unseen foe with a rolled up magazine.

“Yukari…Tanizaki?” Hyatt read the name from the dossier.

“Indeed. She will be your homeroom teacher for the foreseeable future.” Ilpalazzo proclaimed. “Travel to this school and carry out your mission, for the glory of ACROSS!”

Excel and Hyatt raised their arms in preparation to hail Ilpalazzo once more, but only Excel’s was heard. Hyatt’s caught in her throat, causing her to cough twice and fall over. Excel saluted Ilpalazzo, scooped Hyatt up, and swiftly exited the base.

Ilpalazzo leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. “I hope that you’ll teach my agents as well as you taught me, Yukari-sensei…”

The door opened, and a blonde girl ran inside, accidentally knocking Yukari through the closed window before skidding to a stop. “Yo! I’m Excel-I mean, Hanako! Hanako Dosukoi! It’s nice to meet you all!” Excel bowed quickly, knocking her head on the podium and falling to the floor.

Another girl poked her head in through the open door. This one had violet hair, and considerably less energy. “Excel-sempai? Are you alright?” Hyatt asked, walking over to her comrade.

“Jus’ fine, Hyatt. Introduce yourself to the class, will ya?” Excel muttered, massaging a bump on her head.

“Oh!” Hyatt turned and bowed to the class. “My name is Ayasugi. It’s nice to meet you all.” Hyatt bowed again.

Yukari walked back in through the door, glaring at Excel. “You little-“

Excel shot up, bowing to Yukari. “Sorry, Yukari-sensei! It was an accident!”

Yukari glared at Excel a while longer before turning back to her class. “Anyway, these are your new classmates. Make them welcome and all that crap. Hanako-chan, you can sit behind Chiyo-chan, the tiny girl with the pigtails. Ayasugi-san, you can sit next to Sakaki-san. She’s the one in the back with bandaged hands.”

Excel shouted, “Alright!” before sprinting to her seat. Hyatt walked calmly towards the back of the room.

Excel sat down behind Chiyo and tapped her on the shoulder. Chiyo turned around and smiled. “Hello! I’m Chiyo. I hope we’ll be friends.”

Excel grabbed Chiyo’s hand, pumping it up and down. “It’s nice to meet you too! You can call me Excel if you want!”

Chiyo winced as her arm was almost yanked out of its socket. “A-alright, Excel-san.”

Excel stopped shaking Chiyo’s hand, looking her up and down. “Man, you’re tiny.”

Chiyo glared, although it came out more as a pout. “I am only ten, you know.”

Excel’s eyes opened wide. “Ten? In high school? That’s just…”

”Weird?” A voice to Excel’s side interjected. Looking over, Excel saw Osaka staring up at her. “Chiyo-chan’s not weird. She’s gotta be the smartest kid in the class.”

Excel stared back for a few seconds before snagging Osaka’s hand and shaking it hard. “You can call me Excel!”

Osaka shook with the force that Excel was applying to her hand. “Ah’m Ayumu, but everyone calls me Osaka, ‘cause that’s where ah’m from.”

Excel let go of Osaka’s hand. “I’m from F City in F Prefecture.”

Osaka’s hand kept moving up and down as if she were shaking an invisible hand, until Osaka noticed and grabbed her one hand with her other. “From Fukuoka? Ah ain’t been there before.”
Excel nodded. “It’s fun there. Plenty of stuff going on.”

“Alright, everyone!” Yukari yelled after finally yanking the English book from her bag. “Time to get started, so we can finish, so I can go home and play!”

The class sweatdropped in unison.
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Back in Excel and Hyatt’s apartment, Menchi was hard at work. Using a chisel and small mallet, she had breached a hole through the wall to the outside, and was in the process of making it wider. As chip after chip fell away, Menchi laid the tools down and tried to squeeze through. After much effort, the wall gave way enough and Menchi fell onto the balcony of the small apartment.

Menchi barked in happiness, and jumped off the balcony, landing on the stone wall between the apartments and the house next door. Running along it at top speed, she leapt into the back of a delivery truck that was passing by. Settling down inside, she went to sleep, no longer tormented by the thoughts of the insane girls that kept her.

I'd definately have to say the same thing for you. Your writing is excellent and I can tell you really and truely care about the individual words you put into it as well as the story as a whole. You're definately a talnted writer as well! ^.^

HEHE I shtill lurvs it! 3nodding xd