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'Unwell,' by the band Matchbox 20

All day, staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night, hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

~

'Fool,' by the band The Rasmus

I'm feeling restless, but I don't know why.
Feels like time is standing still.
So many people 'n' I'm feeling shy.
I would with pleasure pass away.

(No one can complain.)

I don't care it is a Saturday.
I'll spend rest of day at home.
Won't go home 'n' spoil another day,
This is my chance to be not me.

I gotta feeling that I'm breaking
'n' my hands are shaking.
My heart is bumping
'n' I'm trying to relax, or something.
My heart is bumping
'n' I'm trying to relax
(Feeling low / waisting my time.)
Oh... oh... oh... oh...

I feel like stone, when someone talks to me.
Can't get a word out of my mouth.
It is a bad habit, it will allways be.
I would with pleasure pass away.

Slipping in corners, like I'd made something
Which has made me feel so small.
I know I haven't got that dignity.
This is my chance to be not me...

I gotta feeling that I'm breaking
'n' my hands are shaking.
My heart is bumping
'n' I'm trying to relax, or something.
My heart is bumping
'n' I'm trying to relax
(Feeling low / waisting my time.)
Oh... oh...yeah... oh... oooh...

Oh... oh...boy... oh... oh...

(Feeling low / waisting my time.)
I gotta feeling that I'm breaking
'n' my hands are shaking. (Oh boy)
My heart is bumping
'n' I'm trying to relax
Oh... oh... oh... oh...




Alright, finally I remember to make this thread. My mom had a really, really, REAAAALLY bad memory when she was little. My dad's memory is STILL mimicking-schitzoprensic(he doesn't literally have the mental-issue...I think), actually more "selective", to the point of there never being proof at all whenever he promises/says/does anything remotely stupid. I was born with (YES, you can be born with), at first, really bad Bipolar..which has (the mental parts, not the physical, anyways) passed.
I have a memory so bad WHOLE YEARS are missing and there's no way to get them back, pleanty of adults at school have done such stupid things from day to day to me (all the more craziness ensuing within along the expanding crevices of my cluttered subconscious) and they all got away with it. No matter how short the sentance, whether by my lips or someone else's, it'll vanish completely within the crevices of my memory's subconscous before the last word. If it's important enough that I remember a sentance/conversation, I'll have to be writing during the whole conversation. As I'm enough of a freak at my highschool, I don't write down conversations as they occur or jot down people's appearances while looking at them, therefore I could have a few friends I'm not even aware I have...When I first came to my newest highschool, I told some adult that I had just stopped going to my last highschool...when there were actually two years of homeschool in between that had completely slipped my mind. I remember this because I surprised myself so much when I realized.
Is it normal to be able to recall dreams better then real-life events? To forget half the words as you type/say them?? To think your mom's eyes are a different color from what they are, directly after looking at her, and say such, and then your mother having to remind you of her real eye-color and yourself not remembering thinking the wrong eyecolor, when you see her every day??? To confuse events from this Saturday with another Saturday that could've occured four Saturdays ago, and I do this very often??? Or is the majority of this actually normal..???
It can get creepy sometimes. Like I'll forget what room I'm in, whether or not something's in my mouth, and where certain objects are, all at once...and I do, quite frequently, and that kinda thing, compared with my clumsiness, could be the thing that's gonna kill me someday.

For the love of gosh, please, make my memory better. Any tips would help.
Unless, you know, this is just something I gotta "live" with forever.

My memory actually used to be literally about five times worse when I was a little kid, and my mom's saying I'll continue to outgrow it...like she did...but she didn't really outgrow her memory-issues completely...so, it appears there's less hope for me...Advice?

I've been meaning to make this topic since I joined this place but..I kept forgetting to. In fact, this post was in a text document for like a week. Basically, for about a straight year, I've been remembering to make this topic, coming to my computer, then glancing around with a stupid look and thinking '...Huh? How'd I get here, in front of my computer? ...WHAT am I here for? Did I even have a purpose here? ...Oooh, NOW I remember! I logged online to check my E-MAIL...!' I'm so stupid sometimes.