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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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 Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:36 am
Okay, I'm not really sure what this is..... But this all started out when my English teacher gave us an assignment to write about a place that we hated. We only had about 45 mins to do this, so I was wondering if you'd rate it for me... Just for the record.
Again I am here...
By cyberwitch-2006
A deep rumble resounds through the echoing passageways that dominate my restless mind. The circular halls and twisted pillars laugh at my defeat; their carefully carved faces grin with silent laughter. The once angelic sculptures now haunt my dreams; they're not so beautiful now...
The walls that trap me in this hellish nightmare stand crooked, like the bent back of an old crone. They curve inwards to meet in a perfect arch above my head. The gloomy darkness seems to envelope my soul, my body but a matchstick in comparison to that of the dimly lit halls. The walls shine with a beauty that is hidden within, the grey moon-like sheen sparkling beneath the dull rock that hides it.
Although there is beauty in this marvellous place, there can be no happiness. There can be no joy no love no laughter. There can be nothing but the sadness that dwells in my heart and the loneliness of my dreams. Without you there is nothing.
The tiled floor below my feet is cold to the touch, it reminds me of winter. The cold snow and ice crunching underfoot. That's what it feels like... It feels like death.
At the centre of the large cavernous room resides the masterpiece. A great marble statue towers over my small form, the shape of the man that put me in this dreadful place. His face is roughly hewn from the precious rock, the eyes... They look so real. So life-like. The first time I came here I thought it was real, that my dreams had come true! My love had come to save me from impeding doom. It was not until I touched the still, icy form that I felt it's coldness, saw the marbled veins that ran intricately across his magnificent brow, that I noticed. I had cried at that moment. at the crimson rose in his grasp. The flower was real, and that truth only made me cry more, harder. Every time I come to the monument of my love, a new, fresh rose has taken place of the dying withered one that I had taken away and lain at his feet.
Do you feel no shame? You stand there smiling, your handsome chiselled features forever young. Why must I come here every time you leave me? My pain is nothing compared to the guilt of these four walls. I shall never leave this place. I shall not see the light of day nor feel the sun's bright warmth across my skin. Never, until the day you come back to me.
The torch's glowing flame grows meagre. A sure sign that I shall be here until morning. No dream can take place in this nightmare-ish world, in this night-terror of a place.
Sweet dreams my love.
^^
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:05 am
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 9:47 am
Very interesting. I don't know what you were describing.. but reading it made me feel cold and stoney. Very nice. 9 otta 10 for interesting description and the feeling you poured into it.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:08 pm
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 8:54 am
Wow. I love this. It makes me sad, though. Makes me think of death. = But I love all the descriptions, they're great. Awesome job. *gives thumbs up*
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 10:23 am
This is a very interesting peice. You give so many details, yet you still leave your reader in a complete confusion about where this place is. Just my question, could it possibly be a cemetary, or cript?
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 10:48 am
Merenwen99 This is a very interesting peice. You give so many details, yet you still leave your reader in a complete confusion about where this place is. Just my question, could it possibly be a cemetary, or cript? That's what I was wondering.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:07 am
It was great! But, what was it about? confused
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 8:08 am
MalineMoonFeather Merenwen99 This is a very interesting peice. You give so many details, yet you still leave your reader in a complete confusion about where this place is. Just my question, could it possibly be a cemetary, or cript? It could... But then again- Oh I'll shut up.. Yeah, that's kinda the idea I was going for...
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Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:15 am
Yes a nice job writing that descriptive paragraph. I rather enjoy your use of metaphors. You did well in building up the image of the reader mind. Over all it's a pretty good peace. My only problem would be and I probally missed this while reading it is what exactly were you describning?
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:26 am
It was just an assignment to write about a place you hate...
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