- This is a short story I wrote, and I liked it anough to put up here.
3nodding
You stand in the dark elevator, going down, sweating from the tremendous heat you feel. The walls are starting to close in on you, coming closer and closer, until you are sure they will squish you.
All of a sudden, you find yourself in a small, red room, where a man is sitting behind the cherry-oak desk. He gives you a bored look, that says 'Go, in, you're expected,' and points at a door.
Walking through this door, you find yourself in another room, this one larger, and way more luxurious. All that is in it as a chair. The walls are white, the floor is white, and ceiling is white. The chair is black.
"SIT."
A voice comes from no where. You sit in the black chair, and the room melts away, taking you to a very warm, cheerful, happy looking room, that's every undertone was very evil, in which two identical young woman stand.
The women exchange looks of dangerous glee. "Ah," One said. "Another one." She was wearing a well-tailored, dark green suit, that you could tell was very, very expensive.
The other one, this one wearing a pink mini-skirt and a tight custom-made green blouse, walked up to you, and circled your chair, looking you up and down, inspecting. "Hmm. You might do." Her voice was low and warm, but it barely disguised the chill underneath.
"Wh-who are you? What are you?" You asked, trembling. "And where am I?" Hearing the fear in your voice, and knowing they could too, makes you stop speaking.
Again, they shot each other looks, this time pitying. "Aww, Sa, he doesn't know who we are. "The second shot at the first. "Pity. This one's cute." Said the first, shaking her head dramatically.
The woman in the green suit saunters up to, then around you. Turning to face the other woman she sighed. "They never know." With a mournful sigh she turns back to you. "I, my dear, am Satan."
"S-sa-?"Your mouth has dropped open, and yuo stare at her in disbeleif, before the The woman in the pink skirt cuts in. "And I," She said loftily, grinning devilishly, "Am Lucifer. Close your mouth, dear, you're letting in flies."
Before you can comply, or deny, the proclaimed Satan slips a finger under your chin and closes it for you. She pushes you back in the chair and sits on your lap with her arms around your neck. "You see," She said, "You are here-"-The hand she swept around the room was quick seemed to encompass more than just the room-"-Because you're mean, stupid and dead."
Coming up behind you and resting her chin on your shoulder, Lucifer smiles a very pretty, very false smile. "Oh, don't feel too bad, sugar. After all, you get us." Inspecting her nails, she walks away from you. "Welcome to hell, you lucky devil. Not many people get in these days."
"Yes." Added Satan. "We're more of...more of an exclusive club these days."
"But... this is hell?! Where's the... y' know... smoke, fire, the screaming people?" You twist your hands together nervously, aware that the two are watching you closely.
"See, it's like this." Satan said, patting your cheek affectionately before rising and walking over to her 'sister'. She paused. "And I'm only going to explain this once, and even then, because you're cute. It's like this;"Flipping the hair out of her eyes, she favoures you with a cold smile."We run this place. Screaming gives us headaches, and come on, do you honestly think that we'd put up with smoke? It's way bad for the skin."
Lucifer rolled her eyes. "Duh. Stand up." And invisible hand grabbed you from the chair and threw you to the ground, so you were now kneeling in front of the pair. "Aw, look, Sa, the new-comer already bows. I wish everyone would this soon into the ' interveiw ', don't you?"
"But of course." Satan replied, then continued with her little speech. "As for fire, Luci doesn't like it. Makes her break out in hives. Not pretty. "A shudder wracked Satan's body. "Glad I don't get hives. Disgusting things. Have you ever had them, new-comer? No? Well, you're not important anyway."
You splutter for a moment, before jumping out of the chair and yelling, "This cannot be happening! I'm....in some horrible dream. "You don't notice the two's faces light with amusement. "Wake the ******** up!" Satan and Lucifer jump to their feet and squeal with delight. You just stare at them.
Loud, tinny music fills the room, and the two clap, then throw up their hands in unison, to mouth along to the words--"UH-OH! POTTY MOUTH!"A very large, very pink toilet pops up out of no where and Lucifer reaches over to flush it. Satan let out a joyous laugh before colapsing in a fit of laughter, a very unholy glint in her eyes.
Your jaw drops, and Lucifer stopped laughing long enough to give you a stern look and say, "Remember the flies, darling. "Looking at Satan, she giggled and said, "I love that part."
After the laughter subsides, Satan pushes you back to the chair. "Don't give me that look. You're the one who's crazy, not me. I mean, we're forced to live here. You did what? Killed 7 people, raped someone? No? Well? It was your choice to come here."
Giving you an archaic smile, Lucifer patted your head. "Now, let us explain. We rule here. It used to be an old guy with the most dreadful beer belly, but, we took over. "Switching into a very businesslike voice, she said, "Here in Hell, you will be required to have regular beatings. We totally play those up, by the way. Zee will hook you up with a schedule. "Seeing the look on your face, she grimaced.
"Yeah, you don't know who he is, do you? Beelzebub, Sugar." Satan informed you. "When we're done here, we'll send you to him." Conjuring two stuffed chintz chairs out of thin air, she and Lucifer sat.
"Okay, here's the deal, then. You get your beatings, and the rest is yours. Here in Hell, we try to make things as comfortable for our 'guests' as possible. You can even have a pet. Hell hounds are just sooooo cute."
You shudder. "So...I can do anything, go anywhere?"
"Pretty much, so long as you show up for your beatings. They're not optional. That old fart, God, made it that way. I mean, c'mon? Do we make him beat the angels?" Lucifer asked, her voice carrying heat. "Stupid hypocritical jerk up. So typically like a man."
"Oh, I know!" Satan replied, totally ignoring you now. "He's all like, I'm high and mighty, so you have to do what I tell you.." Her eyes started glowing an eerie red. "Well, he can shove it right up his holy-than-thou all-knowing a**!!"
Hearing the swearing, you wait for the toilet, but nothing happens. With a small shrug, you wait until they've settled down a bit before asking, "So..this is...Hell?" In a small voice.
Lucifer shoots you an evil grin, a look that is matched on Satan's face."Oh yeah. Welcome to your worst nightmare, babe."
