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 Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:53 pm
Rain
I take my umbrella
Pretend to be Cinderella
And spin it around like a little girl
Forgetting about the rest of the world
And dance the night away
I've begun to decay
So let's waltz right through the rain
We can wash away our pain
We can become more insane
As we let our emotions drain
What's so good about loving the sun?
Why does rain have to be shunned?
I see nothing wrong in watching all of the raindrops fall
I enjoy simple pleasures since I've been reduced to nothing at all
Why does the rain have to be hated
In the same way I'm degraded?
At least I'm not alone in being hated by everyone
Who rather be in the hot blistering sun
I rather have the grey clouds swarm over my head
People usually hate darkness, but I'm already dead
I have nothing to look forward to
So I have nothing else to do
But look forward to what everyone else dreads
I'd make rain a groom and we could be wed
Rain is a reminder that others go unwanted besides me
At least I have a true friend amongst my misery
Since the blade could never truly satisfy
No matter how much it made me feel right
I've tried to give up that life
Yet I've tried before to give up lives I've learned to hate
But I always seem to return and don't realize til it's too late
So let me get my little ounce of pride
I stand in the rain openly yet I hide
Well really it hides me and all the pain behind these eyes
Where else can I go when all else are lies?
So I take my umbrella
Pretend I'm Cinderella
And spin it around like a little girl
Forgetting about the rest of the world
Let's jump in every puddle we see
A bridge is what I rather it be
But suicide is not the answer, or so I have been repeatedly told
I try not to buy every word they say, but it's already been sold
Let the acid rain pour and burn my flesh
Bring me another inch closer to death
I try and try to release my stress by my whimsical dances in the rain
But no matter what I do, nothing will ever be the same
I can never wash away the pain
Although I can become more insane
My emotions refuse now to drain
I'm trapped in a world that with every second, it gets worse
You should know by now I can't break that curse
The rain is beginning to not be able to satisfy
My eyes wander to the blade sometimes
But I must be strong I keep telling myself
One day that lie may just become true itself
But til now, I'm stuck spinning around foolishly in this cold rain
Let the lightning strike and the thunder roll that will never be tame
And one last time,
I take my umbrella
Pretend to be Cinderella
And spin it around like a little girl
Forgetting about the rest of the world
The way it's forgotten about me
And go unnoticed to how I bleed
I hold on tight to my only friend
Let the rain fall down yet again
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:54 pm
You Chose to Walk Out the Door
When I said I had fallen in love with you
I could of sworn you caught me
Yet now you let me go
Oh so suddenly
I can't help it but I miss you
And deep inside I still love you
But what we had isn't considered true
But in my heart I still want you
You were my everything
And now I have nothing
I've never felt so incomplete
Until you let go of me
It feels wrong not to be in your arms
If I had listened, maybe I wouldn't be harmed
Yet I don't care, you were the best thing I ever had
Without you I feel so dead, it's worse than being sad
That's how I know you were my first true love
Because there's passion inside me from above
You said you loved me, so didn't you see it was true love?
I'm flying with the wings of a crow not a dove
I feel so foolish for letting myself fall so hard
I'd stay with you forever still, no matter how many scars
It feels so wrong, so utterly wrong without you here
Never letting you know my feelings is one of my fears
I know you still care
And you said you'll be there
But I want you to be there for me as my one and only
My soul is screaming because with no you, I'm lonely
Can't you comprehend the damage that you've done?
I truly think that you are my one
I can't shake this feeling
My heart was yours for stealing
And you still have it, and you never gave it back even after you left
If only I still had your heart, oh this pain feels like death
Stop killing me
By leaving me
What I wouldn't give to kiss your tender lips
Can't I get one more loving yet deadly kiss?
I don't want to let go no matter how much pain I go through
I'd do anything in order to have you
What we did was wrong but our feelings were right
I wish you were here beside me to comfort me in the night
The stars dont shine without you here
My heart does cry when you're not near
My body is cold ever since you said your goodbyes
If only I could see you again and look in your eyes
I wonder if your eyes would be the same
It probably would bring me more pain
Yet I don't care because you're worth my whole entire life
I keep yearning for you and there's no comfort in the knife
The only thing in the whole universe I need is you baby
Please be my man again and I'll be your lady
It was just so sweet back then
I wish we could live it again
Oh please, please, please
It's more than want, it's a need
I'm going to make a carving on my heart of your name
So maybe then you'll see its yours, no matter the pain
Isn't it clear how much I love you and need your embrace
They say I have to let you go and if you return then it's fate
But I can't wait around for fate, I need you here right now
We fell in love so quickly and I don't even know how
I have to hold in my tears every second of every day
Because thoughts of you have made me decay
Oh baby, I'm sorry if this hurts to hear but remember what you said to me, that hurt so much more
Deep down, you didn't have to, but you just chose to walk out the door
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:55 pm
A New Year, New Hope
A new year, a new fate
I seem to have a clear slate
Because I feel so empty and drained
Yet the beast inside is still not tamed
The pain just doesn't feel the same
My abstract mind seems more insane
Oh how last year already feels so long ago
Oh how my thoughts you will never know
Well at least you will never fully comprehend
I wish you could make my heart mend
As easily as you made it break
I refuse to believe 'we' were a mistake
For better or for worse, I have changed
So what if my soul has been maimed
No matter what, I love you still
And no matter what, I always will
You don't understand how much you mean
My feelings are more than they can ever seem
This year feels so different in only a few hours
Why does every taste feel sour?
Why are my eyes still holding back tears?
Why am I holding back to escape fears?
Why do I still love you no matter how much damage you may cause
I'm nothing more than the lonely creature that crawls
I can't stand anymore, I'm just so weak
You leave me here, unable to speak
I feel so different now after this new year
I sense that hope is actually near
Hope in you and hope in us
I know that we had more than lust
It was love because my emotions flew higher than ever before
I can't help it, I just keep wanting you more and more
You're the addiction I can never shun
Our destiny has already begun
Please don't cut it short because I know I can never fully move on
You're still in my heart even though you are long gone
Oh please I'd do practically anything to have you back
No matter what anyone says, my feelings are fact
Fact, real...oh so real among this fictional life I live
I don't care about the past, we agreed to both forgive
If only you were here by my side like you were not too long before
My innocence was destroyed before our love was ever born
Don't pity me and tell me how young and inexperienced I am
I know more than you think I really can
I understand more in ways you still can't see
You were my escape from reality
That's all that really mattered and I really need you here
The past is so distant despite the few moments of this year
You are the only thing that can truly keep me alive
Don't walk out again, unless you want me to die
I hurt so much more now than I ever had
I guess in a warped way, I should be glad
Because I'm still growing with every ounce of pain
It's amazing how quickly it built after I drained
Nothing seems right without you near
Please come back to me this year
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:58 pm
I know they are long, but they are worth reading. And keep in mind, these emotions are from the past.
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-Technically Broken- Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:53 am
Have you possibly tried breaking your poems into stanzas? I am finding it hard to read them....if you have and it has failed that is fine i know not all poems can be in stanzas
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:07 pm
Ooh, I very, very much like. <3
I'm going to agree on the stanza thing, though. It's very, very hard to read. x_x
Also, you have a very nice ear for rhyming. :3 I really like that.
Perhaps next time take into account the syllables, though? Some of the lines really don't 'ring' right, I guess. x_x Although, all in all, I loff your poems. Especially 'Rain'.
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Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:26 pm
Technically Broken Have you possibly tried breaking your poems into stanzas? I am finding it hard to read them....if you have and it has failed that is fine i know not all poems can be in stanzas i dont care for stanzas that much..i'll try tho
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:49 pm
I liked reading rain..im not sure what about it i liked...i just liked it. ^.^ And it helped alot breaking it up like that thanks! ^.^ heart
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-Technically Broken- Crew
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 2:07 pm
One Dream Will Come True
I can't get the stench of guilt out of these wretched clothes
I can't let go of the words that shouldn't have been told
I can't erase the ghosts of memories that refuse to leave me be
I brought foolishness upon myself and can no longer see
I hate who I am and my lack of self control
What has become of my pathetic soul?
How can I ever get you to want me back when I know I don't deserve you?
Too dark of a record I have that can never remove all that was untrue
I am not much to look at and I am not that great of a girl
Just more than your average teenage wreck of this world
I have no dignity, I have no pride
I have no more left to hide
The world knows my sins and condemns me throughout all time
And I keep trying to convince myself this will all be fine
I don't like to lie but I like entangling myself in denial to make life seem less cruel
But in the end I will always be remembered for that terrible girl who was only a tool
You're too sweet for me
Even if I'd wait an eternity
If it meant you could be in my arms for just a moment of this life I lead
My stomach churns, my head burns, and my heart still will bleed
Until I can be safe and stable with you-the only one I care about
I know I may be silent but inside all my soul can do is shout
Shout hoping your soul can hear my plee
To have you become one with me
Am I being foolish again by wanting to have the first person to not be my mistake?
Will it all end up wrong in the end with the help of chaos' earthquake?
It rumbles and makes my world spin
After I commit yet another sin
Please tell me it will be different with you the way my heart says
I just have this hunger inside of me that simply can't be fed
I'm yearning for you because you actually take the time to care
When everyone else won't spare a glance, I can see you stare
Please tell me my mind isn't warping my sight
I really need to believe that this is actually right
My body is sick and cold without you near
Please don't go because I need you here
You're the only one who will give a damn
Don't tell me that is simply another sham
I know I'm not your type, but I don't fit anyone's perception
Please tell me that this isn't another example of deception
Too long I have gone ruining my life with my own ridiculous actions
If I could only know if you liked me in even the simplest fraction
I need some comfort that there is hope among the dead
You are my one and only cure from the disease in my head
Baby, please, if I need to know you're whole life story, I'll wait to hear it
I don't care how long you will have me wait, just don't break my spirit
It has been broken too many times and is as delicate as a rose
The pain under my skin, very few people have the courage to know
You don't need to know that girl, because I have changed so much now
I look back at the way I was and all that I did and I ask myself how?
How could I have been so stupid for so long?
Don't you think I could ever be strong?
But don't pay mind to my rants, just focus on the present because it truly is a gift
I want to always be here for you whenever your heart or mind needs a lift
I don't care how much of the present or the future becomes the past before I am with you
Because you are my dream and only the most wanted dream of all has the ability to come true
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 11:10 am
Everything You Do Comes Back to You
Why do you criticize me for what I used to be?
I never criticized you and you're no better than me
What makes you think my sins are so much worse?
I know I've done wrong but I'm not the first
And I am certainly not gonna be the last
So stop bringing up the past
We have all done something bad in our lives
I know I've been through the best and worst of times
But please don't hate me
For what I used to be
Because I'm so much different than that girl you once thought you knew
But you didn't even know her so how can anything you say be true?
All your perceptions of me were lies
And there was no reason why
You had to talk about me and what you thought I was
It doesn't matter that much now just because
It still hurts to be considered what I never really was in the first place
Sometimes it sickens me how much I'm considered a disgrace
But you just do not understand
The girl I was and the girl I am
I'm so much different than the rumors make me up to seem
I don't think you ever will know what it means
To know the world hates you
Over something not true
Not only now, but it wasn't even like that then
And I once considered you my friend
What was I thinking for letting you hurt me the way you did
Words are thin so you should make sure they are solid
Before you go off and spread those rumors that lack any meaning
I look at you and I am no longer sure what I am seeing
I didn't think you were low enough to let the past seep into the present
I would ask for some help but I know it will never be sent
I just know how fate works out and it's not on my side
I'm forced to sit on this throne of everyone's warped lies
I am not the girl that you think you see
You have to really come to know me
Before you go off and think you understand what is in my world
I am just so much more than your average little girl
But that doesn't mean anything you convince others to know as truth
Is actually the truth because you have no proof
All you have is your bitter words to make my reputation crumble beneath my feet
I have come to realize though that I am too strong to weep
See, I've changed a lot more than you think I have in this short time
Not that it matters because your heart and mind are still blind
It bothers me when people I don't even know are talking about me
Especially when all they know is lies that you instill in them daily
Why does my life fascinate all their souls?
I'm only the forgotten shadow in the cold
I wish that my past mistakes didn't have to ruin everything to follow
Has your soul really become that damn hollow?
Your heart is ice
As you spread another lie
I know the world would be pleased if I acted just like them
Excuse me for being unique and holding strong to it til the end
I won't abandon what makes me different so you will stop spreading lies
You're not the first and not the last to ruin any of my good times
You can't believe everything you hear especially when it's about this dark angel
Your latest rumors about me seem to be just so dull
Is that the best you can come up about me
And everything I used to be?
Must you bend the truth so it makes me look worse?
I'm bad enough without you or any curse
I'm not Satanic and I'm not a slut
I'm not Gothic, haven't I said that enough?
I'm not a poser and I'm not a prep
I'm not a freak that brings others to their death
I'm not Wiccan
And I'm not Christian
I'm not easy and I'm not a prude
I'm not that psycho b***h who is rude
I'm not desperate for attention and I don't just wear black
I don't love school and I don't want you back
I'm not a lesbian and I'm not straight
I'd like to leave the truth up to fate
But I know what I am not now and I am not all these lies you say
I hope you rot in all these lies as I can watch you decay
I'm smarter than you
And I'm stronger too
And I know that what you say may blacken my reputation among a lot of this world
Yet to everyone that really matters, they see me as the unexpectedly crazy girl
Because that's what I really am, I'm me and that's all you need to hear
Even if you don't read this, I will always be near
To tell you the truth no matter if you try and cover your ears
And in the end, its you for who I fear
Because all this will one day backfire on you
And then your life will crumble too
And all your mistakes will catch up and hurt you the way they have hurt me
And I will be here standing over you and I won't give you any sympathy
Because I know what you deserve as well as I know what I do
And I just want you to remember, everything you do comes back to you
((not my best I know..but what do you think?))
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:35 pm
I love your poems. You have the talent to rhyme and not lose your poem's meaning. That's a hard thing indeed to achieve. You also have a strong sense of who you are, and that comes through in your poetry. Wonderful work!
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:35 pm
>>>this is about my ex-boyfriend who does drugs even after he promised me he would quit<<<
One Choice to Last Forever
Why do you need a pill
Just to feel a thrill?
How come all of your damn drugs
Seem to have substituted for our love?
Why do you find it so necessary to survive?
I'm going through the same pain & I'm still alive.
I don't numb the torture with your addiction.
Every time they touch your lips, I feel affliction.
Affliction of yet more pain your 'fun' causes me.
Do you not at least feel a little bit guilty?
I resisted to escape more mistakes.
I knew that enchanting joy was fake.
I had to save myself from becoming an even more terrible girl
And I thought I could save you too from that horrible world.
Sometimes I wonder how you cannot see
How much you & your life truly mean to me.
You need to free yourself of the chains before they become too tight.
I will not permit you to succumb to that world without a fight.
Fight-I will. I have to battle your own temptation.
You need to be awakened to a deeper appreciation.
An appreciation & knowledge of sensibility;
New strength to hold some stability.
I cannot watch you fall into the hole I had avoid.
You do not comprehend that you are still just a boy.
I know you are better than this,
Even though you rather live in bliss,
You rather not take this seriously, but laugh it off.
I warn you to be careful because you'll pay the cost.
The damage is being done,
All for the sake of your 'fun'.
Yet it can be stopped before it is too late.
You still have the ability to clean your slate.
I love you and want us to stay together,
But this can make you loose me forever.
You kill me more with every pill and every puff.
You take another hit like you can't get enough.
Why can't I be your drug?
I thought I was your love.
Why can't you be addicted to me like this?
Your lips would do better with my kiss;
Instead of you kissing life good-bye
And making me want to die.
Why don't you try giving up now?
I know you can pull it off somehow.
If you keep doing this, then you're not hte one I fell in love with.
Fine! Why don't you just take yet another hit!
You ignore my pleas for you to end this madness.
This story is going to end in sadness.
I want you to know every time you smoke,
I think of the lying promise you once spoke,
And I die yet a bit more inside.
It's amazing what a smile can hide.
You don't see that this is also hurting me
And putting me into a deeper misery.
I want to cry when you smile & laugh over pot.
You think it's all okay, but it's really not.
I love you with all my heart,
But this is tearing us apart.
Drugs haunt me, but you enjoy them so.
I wish you would just let them go.
They will ruin you and ruin us!
Why can't you stay away from drugs?
I thought I was your everything, but apparently that's not the case.
I have been trying to tell you a serious decision is what you face.
You have to decide-drugs or me,
Because only one of these can be.
Choose one and the other will be out the door.
You cannot have both pleasures anymore.
I want to spend my life with you, but will you do the same?
Your addiction has drove me even more insane.
Now pick your way because you cannot have both lives.
I will not withstand for your half-hearted lies.
Please, baby, I can be with you always
Or drugs can fill all your days.
I want you, but this is really your choice.
I am sorry, but I must use my voice.
I can't keep silent the pain growing.
Lies cannot be the only thing showing.
Don't make excuses, it is now time.
I can no longer pretend to be fine.
This choice can forever change your life.
It can give you problems or maybe a wife.
The fork in the road is here.
The choice is now, I fear.
I am worried of what you find is most important to you.
I know that you love me, but how much of us is true?
Pick me & I will be at your side.
Well, the time has arrived for you to decide.
Two options where two different lives are made.
I still believe that our passionate love didn't fade.
My pain is your pleasure;
The wages are measured.
Baby, I am tired of dragging this out,
Your decision has no time for doubt.
Which way will you go? It's now or never.
Faithful drugs or me forever?
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