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plan to fall
Grif: Hey Doc, nobody likes you.

Doc: What? What're you talking about, everybody likes me.
Grif: Yeah everybody hates you. You don't fit in.

Doc: Oh? I think I fit in just fine.

Grif: really.

Doc: Yes.

Grif: Okay, then let me ask you this Doc. What's your zombie plan?

Doc: My what?

Grif: There's two kinds of people in the world Doc, those who have a plan
prepared for when the zombies take over the Earth, and those who don't. We call those last people "dinner."

Doc: Nobody does that.

Grif: In my zombie plan, I'm going to Alaska, because zombies have no body heat. They'll freeze like corpsicles. It's brilliant.

Doc: Nobody else thinks about stuff like that.
Grif: Hey Simmons!

Simmons: (at the warthog down below) What?!

Grif: What's your zombie plan?

Simmons: I have two weeks' worth of food stored in my attic. I climb up and pull up the ladder with me.

Doc: What!?

Grif: And what happens at the end of the two weeks?

Simmons: Oh, I'm keeping that to myself. I don't wanna risk you turning in to a zombie and knowing what I'm up to.

Doc: Oh come on!

Simmons: You still doin' Alaska?

Grif: You know it!

Simmons: You'll never make it, Grif. The major freeways will be choked with stalled cars from people trying to flee the major population centers. It's gonna be nothin' but a tasty flesh bottleneck.

Grif: I'm just gonna have to take that risk.

Simmons: Good luck to you Grif.

Grif: Good luck to you too, Simmons.

Doc: Are you guys brain damaged?

Sarge: (appearing on the base) Hey, knuckleheads, what's all the yammerin' about?

Doc: Hey Sarge, do you have a, quote, zombie plan, unquote? Hmhm.

Sarge: A zombie plan, of course not!

Doc: See, I told you-

Sarge: I have thirty-seven different zombie plans!

Grif: Wow! Now that's preparation. I am seriously impressed, Sarge.

Sarge: Don't be, dirtbag. In thirty-six of the thirty-seven plans I use your fresh corpse as bait, so that I can make my initial escape, from the legions of the undead!

Grif: Well, at least I know there's one plan where I-

Sarge: And in the thirty-seventh plan, I knowingly infect myself with the zombie virus, just so that I can devour you!

Doc: Sarge you've gotta be pullin' my leg.

Sarge: Why do you think I carry a shotgun with me at all times? You have to be ready to act on a moment's notice! Hyah!

Doc: Guys, with all the problems in the world, I can't believe you spend this much time thinking about-

Doc: What's that?

Sarge: Romero's beard, the Blues have been infected!

Simmons: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the attic!

Grif: Hello, Juneau!
Sarge: Wait, Grif! I need your delicious meat for most of my plans! Hey there Doc, uh, you don't wanna give me a hand with something, do ya?

Doc: No.

Sarge: Where's your moistest meat?
Cut to the approaching Blues, talking amid their own moans and wails

Tucker: Hey Church, how long do we keep this up?

Church: When they all go in to hiding, grab their flag and run.

Caboose: Brian... I want Brian...

Tucker: Caboose it's brains, not Brian.

Caboose: Oup, sorry, I must have read the script wrong. Moaning... Moaning!...

Tex: Shut up you guys! They're gonna hear us.

Tucker: Hey Tex, be it's been a while since you had some fresh meat.

Tex: Up yours.

Tucker: Bow chicka bow wuuuuuuuuuuuh...

This is my new watch, it has a built in time machine, and plays Mp3s. We don't call them mp3s we call them mp48s.

can anyone quote the Turducken ingredient list?

First we start with a hummingbird, put that in a sparrow, stuff them both in a cornish hen, then put that in a chicken. Put all that in a duck, then in a turkey, then in a bigger turkey, put that in a penguin, stuff that in a peacock, then an eagle, shove it all in an albatross, then an emu, next comes an ostrich, then a lepoard. Put all that in a Pterodactyl, and then stuff it in a Boeing 747...