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I was reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the fourth time last week, and as I was reading some of the things Dumbledore says, a very bizarre idea popped into my head. I should warn you that the theory that follows is weird, and I am most likely "as woefully wrong as Humphrey Belcher, who believed the time was ripe for a cheese cauldron". Even I, who came up with it in the first place, don't really believe it. The only evidence for this theory are the speculations of an over-excited imagination and things Dumbledore says that could just point out that he's a wise man and simply knows these things. And such evidence is far from proving anything.

Okay, so I noticed that Dumbledore seemed to know quite a lot about souls being split and all that. Like I said before, this is probably just because Dumbledore is old and wise and probably just understands "the incomparable power of a soul that is untarnished and whole" (HBP p. 478, UK hardcover edition) because he's seen enough of life to figure that out for himself.

I'm sure many other fans wonder what Dumbledore experienced when he drank the potion in the chapter entitled "The Cave". I mean, really, what could be so terrible that Albus Dumbledore is screaming with fear? It could be the worst possible experience he could ever imagine, such as all the people he loves and cares about being tortured around him or something like that (and thus, it would just be something in his imagination that's never actually happened and never will). Or, my bizarre theory: The potion was something like 'Dementor Juice', and it made him repeat the worst experience he's ever had. Observe what he says when he drinks the potion:

I don't want ... don't make me ... /.../ don't like ... want to stop ... /.../ No ... /.../ I don't want to ... I don't want to ... let me go ... /.../ Make it stop, make it stop /.../ No, no, no ... no ... I can't ... I can't, don't make me, I don't want to ... /.../ It's all my fault, all my fault /.../ please make it stop, I know I did wrong, oh, please make it stop and I'll never, never again ... /.../ Don't hurt them, don't hurt them, please, please, it's my fault, hurt me instead ... /.../ Please, please, please, no ... not that, not that, I'll do anything ... /.../ No more, please, no more ... /.../ I want to die! I want to die! Make it stop, make it stop, I want to die! /.../ KILL ME!
(HBP p. 534-536, UK hardcover edition)

When he says things like "I don't want to" and "don't make me", I thought it sounded like someone was forcing him, in the imaginary experience in his head, to do something he didn't want to do. Such as...murder? Perhaps, when Dumbledore was a young man, he committed murder? I told you it was bizarre. If Dumbledore is a murderer, that would mean his soul split, right? Thus, he'd have a first-hand experience of what it feels like to have your soul split in two. I doubt he would have made a Horcrux; he says himself that there are things worse than death. And I would imagine that living with a past as a killer would be worse than death. Just think of all those years he would have lived with the knowledge he had ended someone's life!

Every time I consider this theory, it seems less and less plausible, so I won't blame you if you think the same. I seriously doubt I'm right about this, but it could be an interesting premise for fanfiction....

Ah, yes. I knew there was some line I was missing. That makes it seem more like he knows what killing is like, doesn't it?

You know, I've been wondering for a long time what Dumbledore must have been like when he was a kid/young man. I mean, I know he must've been a bigger whiz than Hermione even, because that OWL supervisor said he did things with a wand they'd never seen before. But what was he like? Was he bossy, a know-it-all like Hermione (probably not)? Was he gentle and kind? Did he acknowledge his amazing ability, or did it never occur to him that he was one amazing guy? I suppose he must've realized somewhere along the way that he was above average, because he says several times to Harry throughout the books that he's talented.

Anyway, I'm just rambling here, but I think it would be fascinating to get inside Dumbledore's head, just for once. What was his childhood like, what were his parents like, who were his best mates when he was a student at Hogwarts? We'll probably never know....

I hope so. I felt as though we had just begun to get to know him when all of a sudden he was snatched away from us. He'd never been closer to Harry than he was in the sixth book, and we saw a lot more of him throughout the year, too. Usually he just has a big serious conversation at the end of the year. I find it funny how Voldemort always seems to strike around the end of June. So convenient; that way Harry can get in a year of magical studying before he faces him again xp

While we're on the subject of Dumbledore, what do you think about all the rumors that have been flying around lately? Rowling confirmed in an interview a while back that Dumbledore is dead, once and for all, and that he's not coming back. But what do you think about the theory that he'd been planning to die all along? I'd personally like to think that he was planning it all out with Snape ever since the summer, because I really want to believe that Snape's ultimately on Dumbledore's side. But even if Snape wasn't in on the plan, I think that Dumbledore was expecting to die up there. What about you?

Actually, come to think of it, Snape's probably more just out for himself, you know? He pretends to be both of Voldemort's and Dumbledore's side, but really he's just trying to stay alive and get a share of power for himself. He's cunning enough to do that. ninja

Hmm, you've got a point there. One might think that Snape would trust Dumbledore enough to trust Harry, but Harry sure didn't. Even when everyone around him was telling him to trust Snape, Harry just decided that he knew better than Dumbledore and Snape was a bad hat. And there are many instances that show Harry and Snape have very similar biases, just in opposite directions. Snape can't see any good in Harry, and Harry can't see any good in Snape. So yeah, Snape probably figures Voldemort's the safe choice. I can just see him following Dumbledore's orders, then taking a step back and thinking, "Wait a minute. This is absolutely ridiculous!" Then he goes and knocks Dumbledore off the Tower.
I wrote a fanfic once that told the story of the Lightning-Struck Tower from Snape's perspective; after he'd killed Dumbledore and was running away to join Voldemort's side openly, he felt a small measure of regret that Dumbledore, "foolish, trusting Dumbledore" was gone for good.

i think thats really good.