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 Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 12:20 pm
My boyfriend and I have been togehter for about a year, and have lived together for a about 6 months. We are very happy together and especially excited with the news of our baby girl being due in May.
I love Ted so much and I want to get married. Many of you probably think that is wonderful but I have an issue.
Before we got together both of us were dead-set against marriage. We always thought we'd stay together forever, raise our children, and manage a household, do all these things that a married couple does but we saw no point in getting married. But, now that I've expierenced real mature love I do want to get married. I'm so jealous of our married friends. Ted has said that he would get married if I wanted to but he didn't really care either way as long as we were together.
I just don't want to if he doesn't but I really wish we could get married. I've found myself fantasizing about our wedding, something I've never done before, not even when I was a little girl. Any advice?
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:30 pm
I love being married! I love knowing that that commitment is in place. I believe that it strengthens the family, and adds security for our girls.
If marriage is something that you really want then I think that you should discuss it seriously with your boyfriend. I agree that you don't want to force him into something that he's not comfortable with, but I think that at the very least you owe it to yourself and your boyfriend to sit down and seriously discuss it.
Even if you find that you can't afford a "fantasy wedding" there are still things that you can do to have a nice wedding.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:24 am
Marriage extends benefits to both of you that sometimes will not exist otherwise. If one of you were to die in the next little while the "estate" of that person would probably go to the parents, unless there were provisions made in a will, and even then it can be contested, whereas a legal spouse always comes first Sometimes insurance carriers get out of paying bills because of the leagality issue. Etc. Etc. Etc.
But more than anything - do you both really love each other? Will you give more stability to each other and your child/ren? What is your objections to getting married? Are they far greater than your desire TO get married?
I have been married for 29 years - and although it is hard sometimes it has definitely been worth it! There is just a bond of trust that I have that some of my "common law" married friends do not feel - after a while they just felt a little resentment that the other person didn't feel they were worth wearing a ring for - not all, but 90 % of them. Even thought most states say if you co-habit for at least 5 years you can say you have a common-law marriage it is still harder to prove.
I hope you can decide a feel good about it!
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:50 pm
I just don't know how to bring it up in conversation other than just blurt out "i want to get married!" lol.
I was also wondering, financially speaking is it better to be married or not? That's not by any means why i want to get married but it's something that we've wondered in the past.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:50 pm
Would it be that bad to just blurt it out?
I know you get a tax break for children...
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 10:40 am
I don't know. I'll let you know how this goes though.
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:37 pm
You may maybe try brining up your married friends or something like that and bring the subject around... I'm just, well, sometimes my husband tells me I'm a little too forward. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:21 am
Forward can be good sometimes, though (grin)
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:38 pm
So, uh, I brought it up in conversation. (Never actually said anything about US getting married though) He says he's "Fundamentally opossed to the concept of mairaige" Yikes! sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:25 am
That doesn't sound promising! I am sorry to hear that.
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