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 Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 11:04 pm
So four blondes were driving to Disneyland, none of them had ever been there before; and they were anticipating a really great vacation. As they got closer, they grew more excited about the fun they were going to have.
As they were approaching the turnoff to Disneyland, they saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND-LEFT", so they turned around and went home.
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 11:05 pm
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a fish and the other is a scum sucking bottom feeder.
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:56 pm
A Salt Lake pheasant hunter took his son to Idaho to do a little shooting. But all the good fields they found were posted "No Trespassing."
Being a law-abiding pheasant hunter (as surely all Utah pheasant hunters are) the man left his son by their car and went to a farm house to ask the farmer if they might hunt in his fields.
The Salt Lake hunter assured the farmer that no damage would be done to his fields or fences, and the farmer said he would allow the hunting of his fields, if the hunter would do him a favor.
"You see that old horse over there by your car? Well, he's old and he's got the miseries, But he's sort of a family pet, and I can't bring myself to shoot him. Will you shoot him for me?"
The hunter agreed, and as he was walking back to his car, he decided to play a joke on his son.
As he approached the car, his son asked, "Well, can we hunt the fields?"
The man, pretending to be angry, responded, "You know these farmers, they won't let anybody hunt here. It makes me so mad, I could....I could...," and the man picked up his gun and shot the farmer's horse.
But to his surprise, he heard additional gunshots behind him. He turned around and his son said, "You got his horse. I got his dog and cow. Now let's get outta here!"
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Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:21 pm
7 Ways To Drive Your Parents Completely Insane
Bury your fathers car. Tell him the dog did it.
Challenge the neighbor kid to a duel.
Climb a sidewalk.
Donate your brother's body to science.
Have your cat bronzed.
Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
Learn to type...with your toes.
Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins.
Mow your carpet
Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed.
Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)
Ride a loaf of bread.
Take apart all your major kitchen appliances. Mix and match the parts.
Take your sofa for a walk.
Turn your TV picture tube upside down.
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