Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well.....
I never really knew anything about...lesbianism and homosexuality and whatever
I just knew I liked girls, but no one ever told me it was a "bad thing"
I "fell in love" for the first time with a girl in.. first grade? yeah, i think so (yes, elementary school) and i asked her to be my girlfriend. Since she said yes and no one ever told us anything i thought it was just as normal as having a boyfriend.
Then around fifth grade i came across a song from T.a.T.u. and everyone started talking about them being lesbians and everything.... made me feel bad because they all said it as a bad thing, even disguisting. I thought about it for a while, realized i could loose all my friends and make my family hate me if i was a lesbian, so i made myself "like" guys even if I really didn't.
Started dating every guy i could and making sure everyone knew about it so i could hide myself. After several months i realized i'd suffer even more hiding my feelings than by being rejected.
Hey! turns out half my best friends were lesbian or bisexual too! (And one of them was transgender oOU)
And well yeah xD that's the story of my life
sorry if it doesn't make any sense....
Mexican xDD English as a second language isn't so understandable, is it?

anyway
hope to hear about the rest
c ya!

You guys seem to have it so easy. My story is way more complicated. I think I'll give the condensed version.

As a young girl, I was boy crazy. It's weird to talk about but true. I had crushes on guys every year since kindergarden. I have a theory it was more of a "want to be in a fairytale" thing. It's hard to explain. Other than slight things (these including not understanding what other girls meant when they called guys "hot" and my constant staring at other girls [Hey, I thought those thoughts were normal]), I thought I was completely straight. I dated 2 guys in middle school. Everything changed when I hit nineth grade and met Katy. Less than a week and I had it bad for her. I started living at a bisexual at that point until last year when I got my first girlfriend and kissed a girl for the first time. I felt the difference very fast. I totally lost interest in guys within the past year. Mind you my parents didn't know about any of this until september 06 and they still don't know I totally lost interest in guys. They wouldn't know at all if they hadn't yelled it out of me. I was outed.

That's the story in short. lol.

Now I'm sort of embarrassed lol. Oh well, like I said, I felt the difference.

(Not to mention even my mom has seen the difference in my relationships between my ex-boyfriends and my current girlfriend.)

And thank you. ^.^

Hey random question. I heard somewhere that Canada might be repealing its gay marriage laws. Is it true?

Where I lived in England it was a matter of life and death being Gay/Les/Pan/Bi/Trans, it was neither accepted nor even acknowledged since people did not like the idea although I think it has changed a little bit for the better but its still dangerous there even if you are straight. In the English schools the kids would pick on anyone who was even rumoured to be gay, it got heavy sometimes because the older kids would actually beat up anyone who was gay or even les didn’t matter boy or girl of any age. It was sickening I was only living in UK since I was born till I was 10 (2000-2001) and all that time I had to hide who I was in a way.
Then we left and moved to cork, Ireland. The people are not exactly backward but they don’t embrace things easily. I got my first ever comp in October 2005 and about a month later I started meeting people and exploring the world as such and the people that make it up. I started to learn about countries and their cultures. I always thought I was dirty and rejected that side of myself because of what people said about being Gay/Les/Pan/Bi. I soon discovered that many people desire the same sex and that gave me courage to explore the side I had hidden away for so long. I thought I was a lesbian at first but then decided I was Bi (Only changed to Pan recently). It was a relief in a way to stop hiding and become who I am now, even if it was only online back then it still gave me the courage and experience with people that I have now. [the medicine show] who I met maybe a week or two after I got my first comp has always stood by me and I not sure what I would do without her support and guidance. We a nutty pair but I sure love her always for how much she helped me loosen up and enjoy life. On March of 2006 I announced to my friends in school that I was Bi and some accepted it especially my dear friend Rachel who gave me a lot of support. Some gals started to get freaked if I even touched them which made me feel rejected but I soon overcame that when I made friends with more people online who I found where in my own country and I txted them a lot and I am still very good friends with them, especially my best friend now known as my brother Rambo. One of my “Ex” friends told practically everyone in school that I was Bi and it soon spread like wildfire. I was not counting on this and it scared me because I didn’t know how people would react towards me. Some gals started to pick on me but I soon discovered my performance threw them off that a lil. If they started say I was a les dyke I’d just turn round and with a completely innocent straight face tell them that now that they mentioned it…I did have feelings for them. Muah it soon stopped some of their games. I still get the gay jokes and some s**t but surprisingly its from the gals because I think they are not exactly afraid but nervous that I am what I am. To this day I am the only Pan/Gay/Les/Bi anything really who has come out in that school and in a way I still hope it will give others courage.
I told my mother and she at first told me it was just a faze, which hurt me a lot because I knew it wasn’t but still doubted myself. When I got bullied about being Pan and I came home crying and hurt I told her what had happened she just turned around and said: Well it’s your own fault you should have kept it hidden. It hurt so much to hear her say that and my relationship if any has practically stopped since then but I won’t deny to anyone that I’m Pan
I’m proud of who I am.


Sorry it’ so long its actually a way of me getting ready to write about my past haha

Thank you for reading it all.

I saw this programme on (Irish) TV and they said that gay couples shouldn't be allowed to adopt because the children turn out different and not as wholesome as children with a male and female parents its SO screwed up! I was so angry at these people who think they could comment on something they don't even understand. They dont think the love of same-sex couples is real. sad i pity them they miss out on so much.

Your so lucky i wish i could live in canada it sounds awesome. sad We dont even have the marchs over here its so sad the church is so cruel.

I got alot of abuse today for being pan they started bothering me with who i liked more and all that s**t so i turned round and shouted out in class "Look jenny i dont want to sleep with you ok!" my god she was so red after that and the lads beside her wouldnt back her up it was so funny but then she started on how ugly i look so out me down a bit sad its sad how kids are cruel

I'm planning to move to Canada if the US doesn't shape up. I love the idea of America but I'm fed up with our government right now. The US is like the Catholic church. It takes us forever to change our policies on anything. Just look at how long it took us to get rid of slavery.

My parents say get involved in the government and change the policies. I doubt I could motivate them. We have had way too many "gay" scandals with congressmen.