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Isn't he the greatest thing ever?!?!?!

WARNING: EXTREMELY DISTURBING AND REALISTIC DREAMS MAY FOLLOW:

I never watched Sesame Street when I was a kid. However, since we recently got DSL I've been spending WAY to much time on YouTube, to the point that last night I dreamed that I was on a bus full of Count muppets, but only one of them was the real one and I had to find him.

It was a lot creepier than you can imagine. I'm sitting on a bus in the late evening. There is a light rain coming through the windows and the sky is still tinged with sunlight. I have a bird's nest on my lap and the eggs are near to hatching. The bus driver is a pockmarked middle aged woman with dirty hair who never looks up from the road, and the only other passangers are half a dozen identical Muppets with purple skin and felt fangs.
The bus pulls over. I start walking up and down the isle, and notice that two of the three eggs have hatched. 'Aw ********,' I say. I turn to the bus driver; 'Ma'am, drive me to the nearest avery." She obeys without comment, and I turn back to 'The Counts'. "Which one of you is the original," I demand. "Tell me, or I'll BITE YOU!" I snarl, flashing my fangs. None of them answer, so I hold out the baby birds. "I'm going to eat these birds."
"NO!" screams one of the Counts, standing up. "You must let me count them first!"
That settles it - only the real Count would want to count my hatchling birdies. I wasn't really going to kill them, of course. But I end up convincing The Count to accompany me to the avery (bird store thingamabob).
I don't know why I was looking for him in the first place; I vaguely remember wanting him to turn me into a vampire, but seeing how I was already a Creature of the Night that doesn't make much sense. I could also have been planning to suck his blood, but that's silly, considering he was a muppet and muppets don't have blood. O_o So I don't know what that was about.
Anyway, the manager of the birdstore/avery hires me as a birdkeeper. I am about to put my chicks into a cage, but end up finding a few dozen more birds to join them. O_o The manager, who is even weirder than me, fills a cage with mulch and bids me throw my birds inside and dig a deep hole in the center of the exibit. I do as she tells me, but as I climb inside to dig the hole, she locks the door on me and ran off! I try going to the edge of the cage, but my movement causes the mulch to fall into the hole and bury all my birds! I desperately start trying to dig them out, but there isn't enough room to place them in safety, and my weight iss crushing them.
If that's not bad enough, the manager shows up again, but now she's got a silver stake and is trying to stab me through the wire mesh. I twist about, managing to dodge each stab, but then she pulls out a wad of garlic and waves it at me. I start sneezing like crazy; my eyes are watering; my throat closes up. Then she rubs it across my leg, and a huge itchy red rash spreads across my skin. She gets the stake out again, but I'm too sick to move. My god, I HATE being killed in dreams. It feels so weird. Anyway, she gets the stake stuck between my ribs but doesn't touch my heart, luckily enough, though I'm bleeding all over my poor little dying birds.

Somehow I escape to New York City - which is, by the way, the new capital for vampire posers. The Count is there, so I break into his garden and take a hit of LSD and spend the rest of the dream in black and white (normally I dream in vivid color), floating weightlessly over toneless gray flowers and gray grass under a gray sky.


.....
Yeah.
I honestly LOVE my dreams, though this one was especially lucid and disturbing. And no, it was not an unusual length for my dreams. xP

Discuss:
The Count
Vampires
Dreams
Birds
Garlic
Buses
The fact that I've been reading too much Anne Rice lately.

That's weird in a flowing, confusing, surreal, dream-like sort of way. I rarely have any dreams like that...they're usually perfectly clear and detailed, but absurd and fantastical nonetheless. razz I HAVE SO MUCH FUN SLEEPING!

Haha! Well, he's been caught in bed with other men before, but he IS Mick Jagger. xP

Mick Jagger related dreams are the weirest. A few weeks ago I had a dream that my friend, my cat, and myself were kidnapped by The Rolling Stones, who had run off and become pirates. They all looked like my science teacher, who's bald as an egg with a very round head. Mick Jagger's head was inflated and the size and shape of a beachball.

Anyhoo, they wanted us to watch My Name is Earl with them because they were scared of Joy. (HA!) When the episode was over, Mick (very drunk) climbed up on the table and screamed: "GUESS HOW MANY BANDANAS I'M WEARING?!?!?!"
We sat and watched in amazement as he ripped off layer upon layer of variously colored bandanas and threw them aside. Finally, he peeled off a small red one to reveal -
- What the hell?
A SEXY RED LACE YAMACA! rofl

...Then he got seasick. :-/

Ok, my dream the other night was about characters from The Fairly Odd Parents, The Beatles, and VERY bad guitar chords. <.<;

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Ok, so...

I was in my dream, and look, it's Timmy Turner. And Vicky, in a wedding gown. And they're getting married. And for some reason, instead of a real background, the only thing you could see behind them was this huge book. Lots of words and no pictures.

Anyway, so they're getting married, and I start hearing "Dear Prudence." And I start to think, "Oh, it's just 'Dear Prudence,' the Beatles song," in my dream. It was awesome, like background music. Anyway, then Timmy and Vicky where married. And they started dancing.

And then the song changed. Now it was "Glass Onion." Then I'm thinking, "Oh, it's 'Glass Onion.'" So I'm hearing it, then like - seriosly, like John is telling me in my ear, "Wrong chord. Wrong chord! Get up you stupid kid! He's playing the WRONG CHORD! Get up and fix my damn song!"

So I wake up, sweaty. I see my dad, sitting in the chair, holding my guitar, strumming it randomly.

-+-+

Freaky dreamsville...

HAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. John to the rescue!

Ok, another dream..... One time at band camp... o.O


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I'm underwater... In an Octopus's Garden, in the shade... I'm not kidding. Me and The Beatles were... I don't know. We had to drive over to a place, I think we had to find a Yellow Submarine. (yeah...) Anyway, I think we were all really high at the time. And that conversation was playing off someplace... "I know what it's like to be dead." "Who put all that s**t in your head?"
And I started crying, because all of a sudden - Paul seemed to be set ablaze. Then John started bleeding, bleeding, and he shouted - "I know I've been shot." And he was gone. Then George started coughing, it was like he couldn't stop. Then he disappeared too, just like John and Paul. Then Ringo said to me: "Don't worry, you can stop all of this." And he was gone.

Anyway, then it skipped. I was in the street. Paul's car was speeding towards me. I knew what to do. I ran directly in front of it. Somehow, it slowed and stopped. I knew he was alive.

Then I was standing before -

wait.

O_o Well, that part about them all dying is kinda funny - no, not in that way! - as in, John gets shot, George dies of cancer....HMM. I wonder what that means for Paul and Ringo?
Maybe Paul's going to spontaneously combust? And Ringo's going to...spontaneously evaporate? Sweet...it might really be worth dying, if you got to do it in such a weird way.

"You're my friend, too now!"
rofl Awesome!!