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 Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 11:28 am
A fundamentalist preacher was taking a walk one day and happened
upon a young girl who was playing with something in a cardboard box.
When he got closer he could see that in the box was a litter of new-
born kittens.
"What kind of kittens are those?" asked the preacher.
"Why, they're Christian kittens," replied the littlegirl.
The preacher walked on, pleased to see that the little girl had
Jesus foremost in her thoughts.
continued .....
A few days latter the preacher saw the little girl again.
"And how are your little Christian kittens doing today?" asked the
man of God.
"Oh, they aren't Christian kittens, they're Pagan kittens," replied
the girl.
"But...but.. . I thought you said last week that they were Christian
kittens," sputtered the flabbergasted preacher.
"Oh, they were. But now their eyes are open."
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:26 pm
While they are slightly offensive, who am I to judge you? After all, I like dead baby jokes.
Hilarious!
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 2:43 pm
I can see how it is a bit offensive, but the end is cute. Once someone opens their eyes they are able to see other possibilites.
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:07 pm
that was really funny! now read this:
This is the Phantom of the Operas diary, starting a week after Christine and Roul left, and he mysteriously vanished. Or so they thought
Dear Diary,
Christine and Roul left to her hometown to get married. decided to take up No invitation for me. I have sewing to relieve stress.
Dear Diary,
Quit sewing due to fingers getting caught in sewing machine. 438 band-aids needed. Plenty of crying.
Dear Diary,
Got bored. Dropped another chandelier. Candle fell off and my cape burst into flames.
Dear Diary,
Called Carlotta a floozy. Still looking for left tooth.
Dear Diary,
Went shopping at Osco. Bought 241$ worth of the tic-tacs.
Dear Diary,
Found Christines pet kitten running around lair. Went excellent with brown sauce.
Dear Diary,
Reconstructing lair. I needed something to hold all of my possessions. Got kicked out of Home Depot after asking employee if she had a nice rack. I have no idea why.
Dear Diary,
Regret reconstructing lair by myself. Paint turned Day-Glo pink.
Dear Diary,
Went for checkup at doctor. Thinking it was an allergy medicine, I asked for an enema. I was wrong. Holy crap was I wrong.
Dear Diary,
Replaced Carlottas hair care products with whipped cream. I regret nothing.
Dear Diary,
Finally found the chorus girl who was off pitch. When shrunken, her head made a lovely hood ornament.
Dear Diary,
Got drunk. Ran around stage naked during production. Oh, bloody hell.
Dear Diary,
Listened to conch shell for 6 hours, 27 minutes and 21 seconds.
Dear Diary,
Won Sesame Street collection on Ebay. There is a god.
Dear Diary,
Bought new clothes. I feel pretty.
Dear Diary,
Said no to drugs and alcohol.
Dear Diary,
Saw West Side Story. Used 43 boxes of tissues. Have decided to not get off couch until I have learned to snap my fingers.
Dear Diary,
Boiled an egg. It was good.
Dear Diary
Sat for 3 hours in an empty bathtub. Darn water bill.
Dear Diary,
Nothing happened today.
Dear Diary,
Found a dollar. Named it Bill.
Dear Diary,
Lost mask. Had to sneak up on mirror.
Dear Diary,
Baywatch marathon.
Dear Diary,
Today is my birthday. Hallelujah. Christine and Roul sent me a lifetime supply of Avon cover-up. Still have no idea what they were trying to imply.
Dear Diary,
Read a book about the Elephant Man. What a loser.
Dear Diary,
Joined martial arts class. Lost balance and kicked through wall.
Dear Diary,
Finally learned what a Mohawk is.
Dear Diary,
Freak blender accident.
Dear Diary,
Masquerade today. Dressed up as a sandwich. Turns out you cant use real condiments without dripping all over floor.
Dear Diary,
Fell down a well and was saved by Lassie.
Dear Diary,
I now have a collie fur coat.
Dear Diary,
I wrote such a stupid play the other day, so I burned it. It was so pathetic. Just think. I was about to try and publish a play with people running around and singing dressed up as cats!
Dear Diary,
Replaced all of the operas music scripts with scenes from Monty Python.
Dear Diary,
Got Ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts stuck in my head.
Dear Diary,
Went to see Jesus Christ Superstar. Left before intermission.
Dear Diary,
I feel so angry today. I just want to gnaw someones head off. Its that time of the month.
(Not that time of the month, you perv, taxes!)
Dear Diary,
Im confused. I put the lime in the coconut and shook it all up, but nothing happened.
Dear Diary,
I see dead people.
(Of course, I guess thats what you get for hanging out at graveyards.)
Dear Diary,
Carlotta replaced all of my outfits with French maid costumes. Revenge!!!
Dear Diary,
Carlotta woke up today with a shaved head.
Dear Diary,
Got hit today with a carriage. There goes a perfectly good spleen.
Dear Diary,
I remember the Alamo, do you?
Dear Diary,
Spent all day reading a great novel. I found Waldo in 56 places.
Dear Diary,
O.J was innocent, dammit!
Dear Diary,
Practiced Punjab Lasso and hogtied myself. Help me.
Dear Diary,
I can describe pure evil in two words: Rubiks cube.
Dear Diary,
This Halloween, I think Ill dress up as myself.
Dear Diary,
Youll never guess how far I can shove a French fry up my nose. Go ahead and guess!
Dear Diary,
I wish somebody had told me the slang word for condominium was Condo.
Dear Diary,
Spent seven hours running around lair banging two coconuts together.
Dear Diary,
Got beat up by a giant shrimp.
Dear Diary,
Watched three minutes of Bob the Builder. Starting to convertcant get uphelpme..YES WE CAN!
Dear Diary,
Decided Christine was not the girl for me. Now about that Martha Stewart.....grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Dear Diary,
Today I turned on the radio to hear some tunes. but no tunes came out. Of the radio. and, then my friends all like, "that's a toaster". So I looked up toasters on the interweb, and found out that they don't make music. They cook bread....
I got this from www.quizilla.com
I hope you like it!
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:38 pm
that's a funny joke...I love it
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 5:30 pm
Lol, that was cute, and also kinda true surprised
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 9:23 pm
I was kind of offended. But I'm always kind of offended by Christian jokes, mostly because I think that if one replaced Christain with Muslim or Jewish, the joke wouldn't be funny, just offensive. I don't like that because Christianity is the majority its ok to use them as a punching bag. In some ways the blame a lot of people in the pagan scene throw on Christianity resembles the beginning rumblings of anti-semitism that started in early Christain society. That kind of hatred is a mistake I'd rather not repeat. But I'm kind of paranoid as a rule sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 9:46 pm
Sprite almost went out my nose onto the computer O_O
And the other thing posted that sounds way too much like myself... I say it's a good thing.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:28 am
Ummm... wow... I know that fundamentalist preachers and such are always harping on us and throwing insults our way, but must we sink to their level and start insulting them as well? I'm not starry eyed enough to believe that if we show them love they'll eventually come around and accept us, but throwing their hate back at them doesn't help either. Personally, I just ignore their jabbering as it's all nonsense anyway. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm getting preachy, I'd never try telling you how to feel or what to do. I just felt the need to express my viewpoint on this.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 12:39 pm
Come on people it a JOKE. It’s not suppose to be taken seriously.
A Joke in definition is
1.something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act
2.something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce
3.a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter
I was raised Christian, Mormon more specifically and I find this joke to be funny. Personally I say to hell with religions. I believe in following your own spiritual path that is right for you instead of being tied down with all these strict rules and boundaries. Though I do recommend research about religions because no matter how screwed up there belief system is they do have good foundations on morals and such.
Ok I admit where it can be offensive but like I said it’s a joke. So to all those who were rather offended take a chill pill and relax for crying out loud.
Oh by the way I thought the Dear Diary thing was cute.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 1:29 pm
You asked for people's opinions on the joke. Mine was that it wasn't funny and indeed crossed the line to offensive. Same way I find most Jew and Muslim jokes not funny. Often people cross the line between amusement in actual doctrine to just taking shots at what they feel the religion is made up of.
I will take a chill pill when stereo typing and general prejudice stops being a problem on both sides of the fence.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 5:22 pm
Yes but Jew jokes are never funny *huggles becca* one of my best friends are jewish. Those are condecending, this one I thought was just alittle playful in the wrong direction.
I was raised prespeterian, I have a tiny thing against religions that try to suck people and children in without giveing them a valid exaple besides "your going to burn in hell for straying from 'the path.'
yeah shutting up now, it was still a cute joke.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 5:58 pm
Becaus claiming that all Christianity has its eyes closed isn't condecending at all. rolleyes
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 6:08 pm
I told you not to listen to anything I say. xd
I contradict myself like it's going out of style.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 6:15 pm
Very cute joke. I didn't really view it as offensive.I even ran it by my friend she thinks it is cute too!
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Reply
