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To Asuna Kagurazaka

I woke up at 7
Waited till 11
Thinking about me and you
Talking till the day is through
I wish we could be more than just a friend
And love each other till the very end
You’re all I can think about
And there’s no dowt
On that
Becuase it’s a fact
You the cutest girl i ve ever seen
And that I truly mean
Im in such a crush
That when I get around you I blush
I love you dear and true
I hope you love me too
I would never lie to you
And I promise that all the way through

This poem was made by Negi Springfield

i didnt vote for ANIMEFREAKFIRE or -[-Elle Lawliet-]- because for ANIMEFREAKFIRE, she/he wrote from Negi's point of view, but the poem was not what Negi would say. It was way out of character.

ANIMEFREAKFIRE is clearly out of the race, Negi sounds a bit too lovestruck and explicit for a 10-year-old kid.

AnimeFreakFire's poem, Negi to Asuna:
In my mind, any poem written as though from Negi starts at a disadvantage. He is only ten, and not yet truly interested in romance. A romance between him and Asuna is an especially difficult sell as points are made repeatedly throughout the series of how much they act like siblings, and how Negi views Asuna as resembling Nekane, whom he calls sister. The last six lines almost feel explicit, which, to me, is discomforting.
Furthermore, as a professor of English, one would expect Negi to be more accurate with his grammar and spelling: writing out seven and eleven, spelling doubt correctly, and including punctuation. Line 9 particularly strikes me as out of place as it is only two words that continue the sentence from the previous line into the next but is made into a line itself because it needs to rhyme with the next, and the whole poem would have benefitted if both lines 9 and 10 were removed completely as they add nothing. Perhaps it wouldn't be so jarring if punctuation had been included to let me know where any one thought stops and the next starts, and then lines would be there simply to highlight the rhyming, but there's no rhythm or structure to the poem.

ANIMEFREAKFIRE: The poem written by Negi to Asuna seemed too plain. And of course, too short. The word doubt is mispelled and for some reason the begining of that poem seemed more like a rap freestyle...... o__O

"I woke up at 7....waited til' 11"...... o__O; And from there on it didn't get any better. o__o If this member would've used some bigger compounded words i think it would have at least qualified. Poetry classes maybe? Sorry, but at least they tried. sweatdrop

ANIMEFREAKFIRE
First and foremost, this was not a personalized poem. It may have said "To Asuna Kagurazaka" and "This poem was made by Negi Springfield" but the words did not incorporate any feelings or happenings between them. Thank you for participating, but it feels like this piece was randomly put together for the sake of writing a poem of love.
Other than that, spelling, grammar and punctuation in this poem are definitely some things that need refining.
Better luck next year!

This is from Setsuna Sakurazaki to Konoka Konoe, and it is a love poem/letter:

Why is it that
everytime I look at your face
my body completely stops
and my heart starts to race

Everytime you look at me
every single meeting
I try to act calm
but my heart can't stop beating

I gaze into your eyes
they are honey deep brown
I listen to your voice
such a beautiful sound

Thinking about you
I stop and look above
what are these feelings?
They are love

With this sword of mine
I promise to always protect you
but why is it that
I love you too.

I try avoiding it
it can never be
it's a forbidden love
and probably one sided you see

I have always seen you
as a star in the sky
you have a radiant glow
so please don't cry

I attack and defend
and you cure
don't worry
you have nothing to fear.

I know for sure
It's not just fate
nor is it destiny
that you are my soulmate

I love you
My dear Ojou-sama

For -[-Elle Lawliet-]-, she/he wrote in Setsuna's point of view, but it was also out of character. It was as if -[-Elle Lawliet-]- was getting Setsuna's character/personality from a konosetsu fanfic. Most of the things -[-Elle Lawliet-]- wrote about Setsuna, is not what 'manga' Setsuna would do, for example:

"Why is it that
everytime I look at your face
my body completely stops
and my heart starts to race"

Setsuna in the manga hasnt really done that.

Elle's poem reminds me of what the current Setsuna might say. She has become a bit more softer and realizing her love for Konoka. Negima!?'s Setsuna illustrates this even more.

Actually the passage

"Why is it that
everytime I look at your face
my body completely stops
and my heart starts to race"

has happened in the manga, quite often really. There was one panel during the tournament where Konoka was just looking at Setsuna, and suddenly Setsuna blushes.

The poem was spaced out in separate stanzas which help it flow. Grammar and proper punctuation was also in tact (at least, more than the other two).

The stanza

"I have always seen you
as a star in the sky
you have a radiant glow
so please don't cry"

reminds me a bit of their first duet single, Sei Naru Sora no Shita de (Under the Sacred Sky).

That's my 2 cents.

Finally, Elle Lawliet's poem, again from Setsuna to Konoka:
This poem is sweet and a rhythm that is mostly smooth but not repetative, and the rhyming is nice without being overbearing or forced. I would prefer more punctuation, though.
It is a good poem, but it seems to me rather innocuous and generic, but perhaps its greatest mis-step is that the stanzas are disjointed; any one, except for the opening, can be taken and placed in any other position, and it wouldn't alter the poem.
As for the poem reflecting Setsuna, it matches her sentiments well, but just doesn't try to elaborate on them, which might just have made for a more enjoyable read.

Angie-sama & Ellie Lawliet
Both poems written by Set-chan towards Konoka. Both had a real love impact. Both poems spoke to me as if they were devoted to Konoka. Although both poems are very similiar they both aim at two different things though. Angie-sama's poem had a little material about protecting Konoka with a little bit of love to finish off. Short poem but it was enough to catch my eyes.

But Ellie Lawliet, he/she took Angie's poem and sort of made a remake. They made it seem like it was a Kono-Setsu love poem writing battle that they themselves weren't aware of. Ellie Lawliet's words used in this poem seem like real words we would use in real life for those who have experienced loved themselves. This poem touched my heart. It's as if Setsuna is going crazy over her love for Konoka and as if she has to let it out somehow so she took a piece a paper and wrote it in words. A caged heart that could no longer be locked up anymore. Besides this poem reminds me of my high school days when i felt this way about someone i use to be in love with. Too bad i never got the chance to realize my love for that person at the time which brings me a lot of regrets today. confused

Not only that but Ellie used some good sentences such as "They are honey deep brown" & "you have a radiant glow". I think i would consider Ellie a pro poem writer. I'd even ask him/her to write my poems if i needed one. 3nodding

So i vote Ellie Lawliet winner.

(See my quote below for reasoning.)

A Konosetsu poem from Setsuna's view a written letter to Konoka on Valentines:

With all I have and all my might,
I will protect Konoka ojou-sama with my life,
Although i may die someway somehow,
this is all that matters today and now,
Practicing Shinmei is not so hard,
If it is what i need to do to protect ojou-sama's heart,
Asuna-chan and Negi-kun too,
Both of them are not as sweet as you,
Ojou-sama makes me feel special inside,
I know my love for you is true,
Kono-chan i would die for you.

~Setsuna

Well, i voted for A n g i e - S a m a because i think she/he 'hit' Setsuna's character/personality very well. A n g i e - S a m a wrote things that Setsuna seems to do/will do. For example "Practicing Shinmei is not so hard, If it is what i need to do to protect ojou-sama's heart" or "Kono-chan i would die for you." because thats exactly what setsuna would do.

A n g i e - S a m a's poem and -[-Elle Lawliet-]-'s poem are tough to decide between, but in the end I'm going to vote for -[-Elle Lawliet-]-'s poem.

Angie's poem does put down a lot of things Setsuna would say or have said already, but it's a bit simple and plain, possibly somewhat akward (she would never address Asuna as 'chan' or Negi as 'kun'). Somehow it tries to hard to rhyme.

Angie-Sama's poem, written as Setsuna to Konoka:
The rhyme and rhythm almost give the poem a sing-song quality like the way a child would write a poem, except that the rhythm is interrupted by unusual formality. Twice the inclusion of "ojou-sama" breaks the tempo, which forces you to read the poem, rather than skim it. I found the shift from nine syllables in line 5 to sixteen in line 6 to be highly amusing.
There's also the egregious line 9, which doesn't rhyme with anything, thereby providing it with a special emphasis.
In further reading into the poem, the first six lines, with their more stiff delivery, focus on protecting Konoka, and then a shift to a smoother rhythm occurs for the final five lines, which more openly declare love. This reflects Setsuna's change in personality in the manga where she turned from a guardian to a friend, but denies neither, as matches her decision when Eva challenged her during the tournament to choose either her sword or her happiness.

Ultimately, my vote goes to Angie-sama.

Angie-sama & Ellie Lawliet
(See above for quote with reasoning.)

Like Fuka said, A n g i e - S a m a's and -[-Elle Lawliet-]- 's poem were a tough choice. However, unlike Fuka, I voted A n g i e - S a m a the winner... It was rather simple after following the judging guidelines. ^_^;

- The Negima 'Element' & Style
Firstly, both poems incorporated the essence of the Setsuna very well. A n g i e - S a m a used 'Negima' words such as: 'ojou-sama', 'Shinmei', 'Kono-chan', 'Asuna-chan' and 'Negi-kun'. Those key words definitely made this poem something personal from Setsuna to Konoka.

On the other hand, -[-Elle Lawliet-]- didn't use any (except for the My dear Ojou-sama to end off). However, he did include situations and feelings personal to Setsuna and Konoka such as:
"I gaze into your eyes
they are honey deep brown"
"With this sword of mine
I promise to always protect you"
"it's a forbidden love"
"I attack and defend
and you cure"

In the end, I was not able to decide the winner for these three categories.

- Content
Yes, both poems were within the 77-177 word limit criteria. Also, both were submitted on time as well as have a 'To' and 'From'. There was no winner for this category.

- Structure
The winner for this category was a little easier to see: A n g i e - S a m a. I based it on spelling, grammar, punctuation and paragraphing.

A n g i e - S a m a's mistake was not capitalizing three of the 'I's. However, it had capital letters at the beginning of each sentence (well, almost all... That one letter that wasn't capitalized may have been a mistake, but it might have also signified the connection to the line before it) and commas at the end of each line and that was nice.

Meanwhile, -[-Elle Lawliet-]-'s punctuation was randomly used (as if it were forgotten at certain points sweatdrop ). I felt that more commas, periods and capitalizations could have been used. Also with the line:
"but why is it that
I love you too."
That should have been a question mark... It was puzzling why you put a period there and not in the majority of the other sections. As for capital letters... It felt like a lot of words were out of place because of it. Then again, if you had used more punctuation I believe those words you didn't capitalize would have more meaning, or at least, you might have noticed the lack of capitalization.

- Flow
A n g i e - S a m a's punctuation helped to define the piece, as I was able to pause and flow accordingly. However, the lines that were odd were:
"Practicing Shinmei is not so hard,
If it is what i need to do to protect ojou-sama's heart,"
'Hard' and 'Heart' don't exactly rhyme well, nor do these two lines go according to the flow set in the first two verses. Also:
"Both of them are not as sweet as you,"
Perhaps this poem could have had a greater impact if you had added 'But':
"Asuna-chan and Negi-kun too,
But both of them are not as sweet as you,"
The 'But' seems implied in your version, but it's always nice to give the readers more substance if you can afford it... And in this case, I feel that you could have (since it would not have affected the flow). Lastly:
"Ojou-sama makes me feel special inside,"
Was an odd line out... There was no rhyming word paired with 'inside'. It broke the flow, but I can see why you did it. Yes, it does go with the previous two lines in a way... But you should have really added another line to go along with it (as you weren't near the 177 word limit at all either). Now, if your poem hadn't rhymed or established some kind of proper flow in the beginning, that line wouldn't have been out of place... But since you did, it felt like you were breaking the rule you had set for yourself. Get my drift?

As for -[-Elle Lawliet-]-, I liked how you broke your poem into paragraphs and had strictly four lines for each section. However, to me the flow of words aren't quite... as soothing to the ears as A n g i e - S a m a's. When compared, yours seems almost staggered... Perhaps due to the short phrases? It was nice that you challenged yourself to write a poem in accordance to the 'every-other-line-must-rhyme' rule, but the words you used to rhyme with each other seem forced. In my opinion, the difference between a rookie and advanced writer is that an advanced writer has a greater vocabulary and possesses the capability/ability to use his idea to conjure with the right words and not the other way around. Also, along with your paragraphing, if you had added more punctuation perhaps the flow of this piece could have been easier to determine.

This category was the toughest of all to chose a winner, but it would have to be A n g i e - S a m a despite the odd quirks.

- Originality
Although A n g i e - S a m a's poem was considerably shorter than -[-Elle Lawliet-]-'s, it conveyed just as much of a meaning/message... In fact, I felt that A n g i e - S a m a's poem did it more effectively. From what I absorbed:
A n g i e - S a m a's version of Setsuna was trying to communicate why she was willing to sacrifice her enjoyment of the 'here and now'. She says that the time she puts into practicing Shinmei isn't lost if it's for a good cause - such as protecting her friends. She carries out this task without any fear of death and with all her might because of her 'true love' for Konoka, and the way Konoka makes her feel special.

-[-Elle Lawliet-]-'s version of Setsuna was trying to communicate her innocence. In the first three sections, Setsuna tells Konoka the reasons why she is so special to her, and determines that it must be love. However, the 5th section seems out of place. Setsuna starts off by saying what she will do because of her love for Konoka but then says:
"but why is it that
I love you too."
Why did Setsuna say 'too'? With this one word, you leave me thinking: "Does she love someone else?" I realize you were trying to avoid rhyming 'you' with itself... But by using 'too', you created a different meaning. It contradicts two verses: the last verse: "you are my soulmate" (since well, soulmate is for one person) and "probably one sided you see" (If one assumes that Setsuna means '"I love you too" as in she is returning the love Konoka has for her, then why would she suggest that it is one-sided?).
Furthermore the 5th, 6th and 7th section seem linked... But it's hidden. When Setsuna askes:
"but why is it that
I love you too."
The reader is left wondering. Setsuna jumps straight into why she avoids that feeling of love, and doesn't exactly answer why she loves Konoka. The reader may assume the answer can be found in the 7th section where she says:
"I have always seen you
as a star in the sky
you have a radiant glow"
But then again, it seems like she's saying that just to prevent Konoka from 'crying' due to it being 'forbidden'.
Lastly:
"I attack and defend
and you cure
don't worry
you have nothing to fear."
This section seems more like a side note. Setsuna didn't mention anything about monsters or enemies before, so why bring up that Konoka may have something to fear now? This poem could have done without that extra bit. Although, it did add to the 'Negima' element. So in this case... I guess it balances out.

In conclusion, A n g i e - S a m a's poem was the winner in this category.

Hurr hurr! That's the attitude! You might as well try for all of them... In the past next to none tried out. Who knows, you might just end up competing against yourself. xd