Welcome to Gaia! ::

A customer enters a pet shop.

AngelicMyth_chan: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

AngelicMyth_chan: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

AngelicMyth_chan: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

AngelicMyth_chan: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this gwee what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Dragon...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

AngelicMyth_chan: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

AngelicMyth_chan: Look, matey, I know a dead gwee when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Dragon, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

AngelicMyth_chan: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

AngelicMyth_chan: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Golly gwee! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

AngelicMyth_chan: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

AngelicMyth_chan: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

AngelicMyth_chan: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO GOLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes gwee out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

AngelicMyth_chan: Now that's what I call a dead gwee.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

AngelicMyth_chan: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Dragons stun easily, major.

AngelicMyth_chan: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That gwee is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

AngelicMyth_chan: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Dragon prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

AngelicMyth_chan: Look, I took the liberty of examining that gwee when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

AngelicMyth_chan: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

AngelicMyth_chan: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This gwee is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-GWEE!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of gwee.

AngelicMyth_chan: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

AngelicMyth_chan: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

AngelicMyth_chan: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

AngelicMyth_chan: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

AngelicMyth_chan: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Myth omg u really are like......idk ur funny hehe!! you really have a great imagination and yes i think this will be a good story for the arenas!!!

That was hilarious! XD