Welcome to Gaia! ::

Here`s one I did for an old shop:

Indigo was a sweet, nice poet, who wrote for all the people of the land. That was, however, until she was kidnapped and assigned to be a slave. The trip was going to be long, not to mention tough. And that was only before she became a slave. In her spare time, however, she wrote poems for the soldiers. The soldiers paid her with food. Not exactly gourmet food, but enough to survive the trip.


But when the soldiers went away to get other slaves, they did not return. They left her hungry and helpless, unable to survive without food and nourishment. She kept writing poems, hoping they would return. But they never did. New soldiers came in their place, and did not accept the poems. She got hungrier and hungrier. Sometimes, she would sleep for days at a time for not having enough food to give her the strength she needs.


Finally, they landed. It seemed even the city itself was busy. The beautiful scenery was polluted with people, crushing the grass under their feet. The trees seemed as though they were in a mudslide, now. The soldiers pushed her onward. She saw strange looking people, with silly hats made of pure gold. She wondered how much weight it put on their heads. But the soldiers forced her to stop admiring the scenery by pushing onward.


She found herself at a stage. It had burn marks on the wooden floor. It must’ve been a fire-eaters stage. “We have the slaves!” a soldier announced. The crowd cheered. Indigo wasn’t cheery at all, for she was now doomed. The first slave, a man, sold for 14k. Next it was her turn. She could feel it. She was still starving. She was beginning to slip away. She went forward .She was sold for 10k, to a nice man. He took the cuff keys and unlocked the chains. “Thank you…” said a hoarse voice, and she slipped away...

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May I ask why it lost a point? Tips appreciated. mrgreen