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Funeral Weather ~ a story

I Am Smartie

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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:37 pm

It's posted in the writers' forum, here:
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22990881&

Post feedback here/there, anywhere.
Thanks. heart

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:47 pm

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>> Only the blackest of hearts

I like it - the dialogue areas could be done a bit more neatly, and sometimes the description is more prominent in some areas then others (I prefer a consistent flow, but that is just me I suppose). Other then that, it is nice. I would say something about the breaks for time/scene change – but I am no better, it is my tragic downfall in stories – changing time/scenery.

Can feel the purest of love <<

eduardo galpaleano

Liberal Ladykiller

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