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This is just some random, retarded, short story that I'm about to make.
Note:Some stuff will be censored. I do think the character Naruto is cool, but he's gonna do the stupid stuff in this story. Also I might be altering Sakura to be different.
Also, I'm turning Gaara into a retard, whether you Gaara fans like it or not.
This is using the 12 year old characters, not timeskip.
Say bye-bye to Panda Gaara everyone, you'll see what I mean in the story. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
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Part one: Naruto tries to prepare lunch for Sakura
~One day, in Naruto's house....~

"D*MN PICKLE JAR WON'T OPEN!!!!"
Naruto kept pulling on the lid of the pickle jar, struggling to get it open.

"Naruto-kun, if you stop being such an idiot I might give you a little...pleasant surprise...all you have to do is stop pretending that the pickle jar is the ultimate enemy" Sakura said, then winked at Naruto.

"I AM PANDA GAARA!!! FEAR ME!!!" Gaara jumped through the window in his panda costume.

"No Sakura, I really can't get it open!!!!!!!!" He yelled, still struggling to get it open.

The pickled in the jar laughed, and started taunting Naruto.

"Why you stupid pickle!!! RASENGAN!!!" He smashed the jar open with the Rasengan.

The pickle grew until it was Naruto's size,green arms, legs, and a face appeared on it.

"Bring it kid," The pickle said "Oooh, a Panda, what a delicious snack"

The pickle grabbed Gaara and lifted him up to his mouth with one hand.

"NO! STOP! I'M NOT REALLY A PANDA!!! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!!!!"
Gaara screamed and cried like a little girl.

"That's what they all say" the pickle said, then swallowed him whole.

"Ewww...He ate Gaara, that must've tasted horrible!!!!" said Sakura.

"Who gives a s**t about how it tasted???," asked Naruto "Even if it was Gaara, eating people is just wrong!!! We are living beings, and pickles most often aren't!!!"

"Yeah, but I was mutated" said the pickle.

"Anyhow, prepare to die you evil Pickle!!!!" Naruto jumped at the Pickle, a kunai in each hand.

Part two: The ultimate battle, man versus pickle, crouching Naruto, hidden Demon Fox!!!

"RAAAHHH!!!!!" Naruto changed into his Nine-tailed form and slashed at the pickle, his chakra forming extra-sharp blades on the kunai.

"Oh my god...what the h*ll has this world come to???," Sakura asked herself "First Naruto can't open the pickle jar, now he's fighting a mutant pickle..."

Naruto cut off the pickle's arms, then the pickle bit Naruto, leaving pickle juice on his arm.

"It looks like you're in a bit of a pickle, and that Panda is too!!!" He laughed, Gaara inside his stomach.

"Now's not the time for lame jokes, now's the time to fight!!!!,"
he cut off the pickle's legs, then it's head, or top end, or whatever...
"Well, that's that."
He sat down beside Sakura and made her a sloppy joe instead.

Part three: That stupid mushy scene that gathers more readers, and I guess is okay if it doesn't go a little too far.

"Naruto-kun, you're a lousy cook but...," Sakura said (Oh god, here it comes, I feel like I'm gonna vomit.) "I love you Naruto!!!"
She kissed him on the lips, and his eyes shot wide open, then he blushed, looking away.
"WOOHOO!!!!!" Naruto danced around the room with glee.

I'm thinkin he has way way too much time on his hands...

stare What can I say?
I'm almost always bored.
When you live in a place with nobody to hang out with and you can't
go anywhere, you learn to amuse yourself.
If you want a strange fanfic, read after the net, it's quite creepy in a lot of parts, too.

LOL! It's pretty funny.