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 Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 7:02 pm
[[I wrote this poem about Sam, the girl with whom I fell in love... I'm still not sure if I'm completely over her now.]]
Fallen Angel
(Written on 1/19/07)
Hair dark as the most silent midnight hour
frames a face that holds cold beauty's power
and hides emptiness, colder and darker still,
with eyes containing intent to hurt and kill.
Her pale skin glows on even the darkest night,
but her soul is empty, devoid of passion or light,
as she captures the heart of anyone too close
with her purring speech, empty and verbose.
Beneath her cold beauty and distant air
lies only a desire to cause pain and despair,
for she is a dark angel, fallen from the heights,
where all tremble as the fallen angel alights.
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[[I was randomly inspired one day in class, when I went and stood in the rain. It was so cold, I couldn't even stand there for that long. I went back to the safety of a dry place and wrote this poem.]]
Naked in the Storm
(Written on 4/11/07)
Here I stand, alone in the storm.
Icy raindrops cling to my chilled, naked flesh,
soaking into the core of my existence.
My salty tears mingle with the raindrops,
falling to the earth to be pulled into the cycle.
Misty fog swirls around me, engulfing my surroundings.
The dark messenger of Death spreads his wings,
with glossy black feathers glistening in the pale light
and beady eyes hiding the secrets of the living and the dead;
he comes to me, my friend in the storm.
A flash of deadly light streaks from the heavens,
illuminating the shadows of my jaded face.
Deep-throated growling rumbles along the cracked pavement,
and the earth gives a long, weary sigh.
The wind beckons and whispers of a perfect land,
if only I will step back out of the rain.
Yet still I stand here, naked and cold,
watching the rain drench this forgotten land
until the land swallows me whole, leaving only an imprint,
a memory that will dry and fade when the sun returns.
----------
To Steph
Your song runs through my icy veins,
until every drop of my blood has drained.
Your voice calls out in my despair,
all that still lingers in the frost-filled air,
melting the ice around my heart
and all the darkness that tears me apart.
Save me from my own damaged soul
and from the darkness that swallows me whole.
Hold me and save me from myself, my love.
----------
My Guardian Angel
My heart sings in the darkest night,
and when I hear your voice,
my heart takes flight.
Lifted by your heavenly wings,
we fly above hell's eternal flames,
and still my wounded heart sings.
I fall within your open arms
and hide beneath your feathered wings,
forever safe from harm.
----------
[[Senior year was stressful to say the least...]]
My Personal Breaking Point
(Written 11/13/07)
Before the oblivion of insanity
comes a single moment of clarity,
when your mind passes from
the building climax of tension
through the eye of the storm,
into the destruction beyond.
A rubber band must be stretched
and worn painfully thin before
it finally clicks into place
and your vision is finally cleared.
But even a durable rubber band
eventually runs out of elasticity.
Past the point when the rubber band breaks
and past the point when the earth quakes,
past the point where insanity is real
and past the point when you can still feel,
past the point when reality exists.
Past my personal breaking point.
----------
[[I still don't like the second line of this...]]
Glass Petals
(Written on 1/10/08)
The glass rose clutched tightly to my chest
The most beautiful flower and the rarest
Delicate, transparent petals imprint in my palms
Safe from the storms only at my heart's calm
Rumbling thunder sends cracks through the glass
The delicate rose slips through my grasp
The fragmented petals slice my skin
Reaching down to my veins within
Chipped particles flow through blood and bone
Slicing tendons that support me alone
Wings broken and flesh newly rended
No new rose allows me to be mended
With the rose fades the last of my light
Alone in the darkness and despair of night
The thing I held most dear to my heart
Of affection and destruction torn apart
----------
Love's Painted Mask
(Written on 1/15/08)
Paint of blood and darkest night,
Claws that tear and fangs that bite.
Love's painted mask of death.
Porcelain mask of deadly sin,
Sticking to muscle, bone and skin.
Love's painted mask of death.
Empty eyes showing truth behind,
Beauty and darkness intertwined.
Love's painted mask of death.
Glowing soul beneath the darkness,
Hope and beauty shown in starkness.
Love's painted mask of death.
Rip the mask away from torn skin,
Fearful of the beauty shown within.
Love's painted mask of death.
Cast it aside to rot and decay,
Dead and carelessly thrown away.
Love's painted mask of life.
---------
[[Written for my best friend, who was (and still is) going through a lot.]]
Portrait of Another Face (To Chelsea)
(Written on 1/23/08)
Slipping, gripping, sliding fast
Scarred betrayals of the past
One face fades into another
Trying hard just not to smother
Clawing, gripping at the edge
Scared to look down from the ledge
Darkness blanketing sound and sight
Afraid to give up in the fight
Two more inches left to crawl
Thoughts laid out in scrawling sprawl
Fingertips barely grazing hope
Final effort to crown the slope
----------
[[The other one I wrote for her.]]
A Trip Inside Your Mind (To Chelsea)
(Written on 1/23/08)
The bitter smell and taste of blood on my lips,
Unforgiving clay scraping at my fingertips
As mingled tears and blood run slowly down my face.
All just to escape from his tireless embrace.
A fearful fluttering of my heart in my chest,
Timid and weary of a life unaddressed
As the last few seconds of daylight vanish.
All to leave behind a life I must banish.
From the dark pit of lonely depression,
An angelic voice beckons for repossession
But the sun lies ahead just beyond the night.
All to drag myself toward a future more bright.
Piercing rays of sunlight shot straight through my heart,
Chasing all the shadows that tore me apart
To give me the strength that allows me to stand.
All just to finally reach for your hand.
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Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 3:09 am
I like it - there's some lovely phrases in there.
I'd be happy to give some suggestions, if you'd like.
smile Fizz
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Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:48 pm
I always welcome suggestions and feedback, as long as people aren't just like "OMGYOURWRITINGSUCKS." xP
And thank you. <3
It's one of my favorite poems I've written (I don't even like all of my poetry. <.<), and it's my best friend's favorite poem of mine.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:59 pm
Messenger_Of_The_Moon Fallen Angel(Written on 1/19/07) Her hair, dark as the most silent midnight hour,frames a face that holds cold beauty’s power and hides an emptiness, colder and darker still,
with eyes containing an intent to hurt and kill.Her pale skin glows on even the darkest night, but her soul is empty, devoid of passion or light, as she captures the heart of anyone too close
with her purring, empty speech, bombastic and verbose.Beneath her cold beauty and distant air lies only a driving force to cause pain and despair,for she is a dark angel, fallen from the heights, where all tremble as the fallen angel alights. Some suggestions: - In rhyming poetry, be very careful about the number of syllables to a line. Don't over-do it. Trim superfluous words. Example: Her hair, dark as the most silent midnight hourOR Her hair, dark as midnight's silent hourI've coloured the lines that feel a little crowded. In the third line, 'containing' really sticks out. - I love the phrase 'bombastic and verbose' - I feel like the last line could use a bit of work - it needs a stronger impact. It feels a little weak in comparison to the lines before it. - Be careful not to fall into cliche traps. 'Dark angel', 'fallen angel' - we've been there before. You've clearly got the talent in there to liven up the poem with more creative phrases like 'bombastic & verbose'. -I like it, it has a good feel - keep working on it.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:02 pm
Fizzlesticks Messenger_Of_The_Moon Fallen Angel(Written on 1/19/07) Her hair, dark as the most silent midnight hour,frames a face that holds cold beauty’s power and hides an emptiness, colder and darker still,
with eyes containing an intent to hurt and kill.Her pale skin glows on even the darkest night, but her soul is empty, devoid of passion or light, as she captures the heart of anyone too close
with her purring, empty speech, bombastic and verbose.Beneath her cold beauty and distant air lies only a driving force to cause pain and despair,for she is a dark angel, fallen from the heights, where all tremble as the fallen angel alights. Some suggestions: - In rhyming poetry, be very careful about the number of syllables to a line. Don't over do it. Trim superfluous words. Example: Her hair, dark as the most silent midnight hourOR Her hair, dark as midnight's silent hourI've coloured the lines that feel a little crowded. In the third line, 'containing' really sticks out. - I love the phrase 'bombastic and verbose' - I feel like the last line could use a bit of work - it needs a stronger impact. It feels a little weak in comparison to the lines before it. - Be careful not to fall into cliche traps. 'Dark angel', 'fallen angel' - we've been there before. You've clearly got the talent in there to liven up the poem with more creative phrases like 'bombastic & verbose'. -I like it, it has a good feel - keep working on it. Thanks. I know it is kinda cliche, but that's basically what she is to me. xP
It's not too likely that I'll change much, if anything (I'm really picky about accepting suggestions from other people), though I do really, really appreciate the suggestions and stuff. Thank you. <3
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:22 pm
Messenger_Of_The_Moon Fizzlesticks Messenger_Of_The_Moon Fallen Angel(Written on 1/19/07) Her hair, dark as the most silent midnight hour,frames a face that holds cold beauty’s power and hides an emptiness, colder and darker still,
with eyes containing an intent to hurt and kill.Her pale skin glows on even the darkest night, but her soul is empty, devoid of passion or light, as she captures the heart of anyone too close
with her purring, empty speech, bombastic and verbose.Beneath her cold beauty and distant air lies only a driving force to cause pain and despair,for she is a dark angel, fallen from the heights, where all tremble as the fallen angel alights. Some suggestions: - In rhyming poetry, be very careful about the number of syllables to a line. Don't over do it. Trim superfluous words. Example: Her hair, dark as the most silent midnight hourOR Her hair, dark as midnight's silent hourI've coloured the lines that feel a little crowded. In the third line, 'containing' really sticks out. - I love the phrase 'bombastic and verbose' - I feel like the last line could use a bit of work - it needs a stronger impact. It feels a little weak in comparison to the lines before it. - Be careful not to fall into cliche traps. 'Dark angel', 'fallen angel' - we've been there before. You've clearly got the talent in there to liven up the poem with more creative phrases like 'bombastic & verbose'. -I like it, it has a good feel - keep working on it. Thanks. I know it is kinda cliche, but that's basically what she is to me. xP
It's not too likely that I'll change much, if anything (I'm really picky about accepting suggestions from other people), though I do really, really appreciate the suggestions and stuff. Thank you. <3 I hear ya - romances are always cliched, and so they should be! Look up 'romance' in the dictionary? 'Cliche!' razz biggrin heart No worries, anytime smile
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:25 pm
That's really beautiful ^_^ i've written alot of poems that are about ex-girlfriends i had sweatdrop it really helps me blow off sum steam~
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:27 pm
Added a new poem!
I'd also edited my first poem some and changed that in here.
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:31 pm
My heart stops beating only for you, baby...
Finally updated! heart For your loving...
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:55 pm
First update in a looooooong time. Four new poems, kiddies. :3 Questions, comments?
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