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 Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 4:29 pm
Ok let's face it. Everyone has (or will) experience grief at some point. And not necessarily for the reasons people normally asociate grief to.
- Death of a loved one, including family, friends and pets
- End of a relationship that did not work out
- Job loss
- Relocation
- Incarceration
- Loss of a skill or ability
- Infertility
- Miscarriage
- Abortion
- Completion or destruction of a project/task involving a great deal of time and effort
- Separation from classmates, favorite teacher, therapist, co-worker or caregiver (babysitter/nanny/daycare)
- Anticipation of loss or illness
- Illness
Grief is personal, and effects may vary depending on the situation. But most people don't treat it as such. Usually, support is very brief, and expectations turn from "it will get better with time" to "Get over it and move on" very quickly. Grief doesn't always work that way and for some may take years to accept.
5 stages of Grief
denial
anger
barganing
depression
acceptance
Coping
- Remember pain does not go away easily and may resurface on occasion
- Know that not everyone will understand how you are feeling
- there may be some volitile reactions
- Don't suffer alone
- Seek out support from those who are genuine in their care and concern
- Don't minimalize the situation
- Seek out positive, constructive ways to express your feelings
- Recognize that your grief may not be the same as someone elses
- Give yourself time to grieve
- Don't set a time limit as to when you are supposed to feel better
* This information is available due to the assistance of a seminar presented by David Kennedy: Grief counsellor
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:29 am
So, I've dealt with extreme grief before, 16 years ago when my brother died. So I understand grief and how grief works, and how grief plays a roll in our lives.
Two weeks ago, my mother died. I thought, because of my previous experience with grief, I would handle this better, and things would make more sense to me. After all, it's more "normal" (for lack of a better word) to lose a parent than to lose a 14 year old sibling. But I feel so disoriented and stymied by this. I know the typical 5 stages of grief, but right now all i feel is numb. My mother's death was not unexpected, it was just very sudden.
I don't want to sit here and whine, because i find that counterproductive. I just wanted to thank Thyna for the wonderful guild, and for the opportunity to have somewhere to turn to and read about other's experiences. I am hoping that by spending time with others who are travelling the same path I have chosen, I can find a way to deal with my grief in an enlightened manner, rather than the way current society does these things. Does that make any sense? I hope so!
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Gentle Spirits Mascot Crew
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 11:30 am
*hugs*
I've lost 6 people this year. 3 from my family, and 3 people I've assisted in the group homes. Not an easy thing to go through.
Spiritually, I know death is something that occures on this plain, and that their spirits have gone someplace else. But that doesn't reduce my sense of loss, missing them or assiciated emotions any less. For me, talking and venting helps, keeping busy, and trying to continue on as best I can.
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Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:47 am
I lost my mother when I was five years old, and it still affects me. I'm constantly depressed, and I'm over-emotional. It's been nine years.
I recently read the typical five stages of grief, but I can't remember what they are. Could you post them here so I could better understand what's going on? Thanks.
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Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:04 pm
5 stages of Grief
denial
anger
barganing
depression
acceptance
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Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:26 pm
I lost my son, an infant, a while ago. I was 20. I lost my husband three years ago who was only 37. It doesn't get easier.
I recently lost my father. Even though he was elderly and not well, I am finding that I am wanting to sleep all of the time, having trouble concentrating and similar problems as when my husband died but of course, not exactly the same.
I know many things spiritually, but emotionally there is the loss and emptiness that changes a person.
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:40 pm
It does change a person. Learning to adjust to life without someone gets tricky, especially if the person has been in your life for long time and there is an emotional attachment. The spiritual aspects are ok for saying that the person isn't really gone, just in a different plain of existance (if they don't rencarnate), but that doesn't make up for the fact that we can't interact with these people like we use to. Contacting the spirit, is so not the same.
I hope you feel better soon. heart
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