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 Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:57 pm
The green monster of jealousy
The evil queen of popularity
Wears red because it’s in this term
A stupid, naughty bug, a germ.
All my friends are wearing red,
I don’t know what to do,
They leave me out of all their fun,
Just because I’m wearing blue.
There’s a rumour in my science class,
It says that red is out,
But no one has enough money,
So they’ll have to do without.
My classmate hides in the school loo,
Just because she’s wearing red,
She cries into a hankie,
God, she’s such a big airhead
What is it with the latest fads?
Why must we dress the same?
I look around my classroom,
And I’m the only one who’s sane.
They’ve emptied out their piggy banks,
To satisfy their taste,
But if you ask my opinion,
I’ll say it’s just a waste.
So next time they say blue is out,
You’ll wear the same old thing,
And then you’ll get that feeling,
That you get when you’re not in.
You’ll feel as though you’re different
And you’ll look among the rest,
And you’ll realise if you had to look like that,
Then maybe this was best.
2005
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 9:51 am
You kept switching from a rhyming poem to a free verse.... it sorta made it hard to find the rhythym. Work on it a bit, k? Maybe try to stick to one type? But I really did like the meaning of the poem!
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 6:06 pm
It all rhymes, it's just different rhyming patterns
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:46 pm
I like the subject of the poem, it's something I think most people can connect to, but the rhyme scheme and rhythm seem to change at random. Is it intentional to fit the theme of the poem? If it is, I think you should mention it in an a/n, that way it won't be too confusing for people who only recognize the fact that the poem doesn't seem to fit any conventional pattern, yet isn't free-verse...
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:08 pm
don't listen to them. I loved how you did the rhyming it keeps the reader on it's toes and helped the story flow more. my rythem in bloody green keeps switching back and forth too. I never understood the woopty doo with fads either. you really got the message across. at least with me you did. great job! blaugh
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