Welcome to Gaia! ::

Just some notes first, this is an e-mail that I wrote to my parents, they encouraged me to keep a log of how well my dexedrine (a stimulant medication for AD/HD that I have been taking on an as-needed basis) was working, how it was effecting social interaction and creativity, etc. I'm posting this because 1) I want to know if anyone else has had this experience or is on this medication, 2) If anyone has any advice and/or knows wtf was going on with me, and 3) Because this experience was scary for me and I feel like I need some support.

My experiments with dexedrine have been interesting and, frankly, a bit frightening. Without the dexedrine I notice that my mind tends to wander, I go a little more slowly, I forget things (a LOT, as you might be able to tell). I don't know how much of that has to do with having a poor diet in the last couple of days (well... more in the past couple days). I have also been having some trouble sleeping.

Today I was feeling very poor in the morning, I did not eat a good dinner last night, I slept too little (about six hours), and only got some bread and a soda this morning before work. In any case, I was feeling pretty wretched (kind of dizzy and I had a headache) and had to get someone to cover my register for a few minutes while I got something to eat. I also took two dexedrine spansuls and two ibuprofin while I was on my break. With some food in my tummy, I felt a bit better, and when the dexedrine started to kick in I felt better still. On my meal break, I wasn't hungry (as is usual with dexedrine) but I did eat a tiny bit.

I was working faster, interrupting people less, feeling more up-beat, and talking in a friendly way with customers. When there were minutes without anyone in my line, I started making a shopping list and planning chores for the evening. I began to notice, however, that I was talking a bit too fast, my head was still feeling kind of swimmy, I was sweating more than normal (though that may have been due to my work clothes and the fact that, well, it was hot), and my mouth was very dry.

When I got home after picking up a few of the items on my list, I was feeling much less inclined to actually follow through on the things I had planned, and starting this essay was rather difficult (I am noticing a lot of grammatical errors, especially in the first bit), though once I got started it flowed fairly easily. My head still feels strange, but taking off my work clothes made me feel a lot cooler.

I notice that my handwriting (I hand wrote the first draft of this) is/was quite poor... I don't know if it is worse than normal, if it's the pen I used or the surface I was writing on or if it has to do with the dexedrine.

What is a "normal" reaction to dexedrine? Did taking the two capsules (I remember that that was the dose I took twice a day back in high school) instead of one cause my strange reaction? What are the side effects? Maybe I'm coming down with something? Is that how it feels to be manic?

What happens to dexedrine when the medication is too old, as I have just noticed that the contents of this bottle are....?