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 Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:37 pm
hi guys...im sorry to bother you...and i dont know how my problems compare to yours....but i personaly am not strong enough to handle these problems much longer......my mental state is shredding apart.....images of the future is tearing me apart....and im so lonely.....people tell me just to move on....just to forget about her....but its not that easy....people tell me that things will get better.....but that line is played out...how can i beleave it anymore....?i know there are people on gaia who care about me....and 2 or 3 people in my city who care about me.....and i dont want to hurt those people with my death....but i feel i cant hold back my self-destructibve and incredibly tempting ideas much longer....the idea of jumping off a building is very tempting....i know its not right....and i know i have problems in the head from my shaping of life....but i also know how pointless living is for me....i dont wanna die persay....i just want to be a differantperson......a person who might be kissed one day.....a person who....maybe....would end there lives happily married.....please....im begging you.....somebody help me....help me to pull away from these suicidal thoughts before its too late......
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:03 pm
Hey Brett. I know how you feel, with the thoughs of suicide. It's been tempting latley for me as well, but I know I can't give up. Did you know, that suicide is the most selfish thing you could do? I was thinking about it, and I'd hurt other people, people in which I love just to give up. But I decided I needed to pull through this funk. I KNOW you can pull through this. Sarah said she would take you back if you went out there, you could look forward to that, or you could find another woman. Or I know some guys chose to be gay. Considering how you've been hurt, since I've been talking with you for quite a while now, I know most guys would go gay by now. But you know...you're strong. You're not like the rest of them. I'm not saying gay men aren't strong or anyhing, I'm just saying how some men go gay because of how they were hurt by a woman, you're still truckin on. And I know you'll be able to do it. And I know you say that this line is so over-used. But I know you'll be able to make it through. And I'm always here for you buddy. Please PM me if you need anything at all. I get onto gaia atleast once a day. And I'm on for a few hours in the evening. I'll try to keep checking up on this thread for you. Be strong for me heart .
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:41 am
Like Sundey said, keep in mind everyone who would be hurt by your death. Without even knowing you I can say with absolute certainty that your death would effect and sadden many people. It might effect and sadden people that you might not even think of, teachers or a friend's parents. Sometimes people like that care when we don't even realize it.
If you are having serious suicidal thoughts that you don't think you can control at all, talk to a counselor. If you are in school, you could talk to someone there. Most high schools and colleges have someone you can talk to about whatever you want. Also, if you choose to go that route, you won't need money or parent's permission if either of those things would be difficult for you to get.
You can be a different person to some extent. You can be who you want. Your past does not have to decide your future. If you don't like who you are, think about how you can improve yourself. There's no way that you can really be down about your future. It hasn't happened yet. No matter what you think might happen in your future, it's only a guess. You can't know for sure. That means it might be something stinky, or it might be something great. You can't get down about it if you don't know for sure which one it is.
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:35 pm
Yeah...I'm talking to this guy through PM, now. <3
I think all you gotta' think about is what you've got going for you, and that life goes through ups and downs, like a roller-coaster; hold in for a few more years, and you'll be in a completely different loop, y'know? S'what kept me hanging on.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:13 am
You don't need to force yourself to change.
Still and always be yourself.
You can get through this and you need to believe it.
Write. I used to need to write suicidal poetry beause I'd get this bursts of anger then all of a sudden have an emotional break down.
I pulled through. So can you.
It took me a yer to get over my first boyfriend.
I still haven't gotten over the death of the boy I loved who died in December.
I don't know how long this will take.
Or how long it needs to take.
But I know he is there for me.
Think to the future, but not too far.
Because think about it.
It might take years to find someone, but hey, when you find the right person it all ends good.
And you'll know that.
Remind yourself that there is someone who would die and loive for you.
Everyone fights there own battles. But we can give adice and hugs.
Everyone learned to live for themselves, even though it's sick but true.
Hold on, buddy, because Life is one bumpy ride.
I'm here if you ever need anything.
I care.
More than you know. <333;
Hold on tight. <3;
Evrything happens for a reason, we never know why.
That's just how it goes.
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