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 Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 3:43 pm
Creeper
I can smell it in the air.
The fermented evil that decomposes its soul.
I can hear the laughter, a spawn of its hatred.
I can see its eyes,
Black holes leading to its nonexistent heart.
I feel it there, making me shiver and tense.
I am certain it is behind me, ready to grab away my spirit with its boney, crusted hands.
I turn around trying to bring my self to look it in the eye.
But there is nothing, only the emptiness,
And my shadow.
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 7:26 am
i like the idea of what you are writing, but imagery could use a little more work.
again love the way it ended 'only the emptiness and my shadow'. good run off.......
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:06 am
I thought it was very well written and I liked the imagery in it. The only problem was I had a hard time figuring out whether this was a poem or prose because the rhythm changes so much. However, I still really enjoyed reading it and thought it was very good. Good job!
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:05 am
very deathly and dark. I've heard this topic been used many times but I like your interpertation.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:23 pm
Goosebumps! I give it a biggrin out of xp xd confused neutral smile biggrin mrgreen . that's a pretty good rating.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:48 pm
Jehosaphat Goosebumps! I give it a biggrin out of xp xd confused neutral smile biggrin mrgreen . that's a pretty good rating. thanks, lol
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:05 am
Ohhhhh, another dark, but great piece of writing. I really liked the line "I can see its eyes, Black holes leading to its nonexistent heart." Good job! ^^
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