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 Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:49 am
I have this fear that I consider embarrassing. I wonder if others here have this fear. Maybe it's an "Aspie thing".
I just can't address people by name. I don't know why, but I've had this fear for as far back as I can think. If someone asks me what someone's name is, I'll try to find a way around it, like "Why do you need to know their name?" or "I don't know." (even though I do know). If I'm trying to call to someone, I'll just yell "Hey!" and hope it reaches the individual.
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:13 am
I have that problem, as well. I'm a little better about it than I used to be, especially when I was in school. I'm not sure what it is... I guess I feel like I'm intruding on them for some reason by saying their name. I still have a lot of trouble with it if I'm not very familiar with a person.
When I was taking a photo class in college a friend of mine was saying how she didn't know how to address our photo teacher because he never said whether to call him by his first name or last name or "Mr. ____" or whatever. I didn't really understand what the problem was, and told her so, and so she asked me what I called him.. I told her I don't call him anything. She said "so what do you say when you say hello to him, then?" "Hello..." I told her. She seemed kind of confused and just told me "It's just your way, I guess."
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:45 am
its not really a fear, I just forget peoples names and get really embarrised at the idea of having to ask again for the fifth time so I usually fake it untill I hear enough people say their names for me to remember. even then I dont really use their names all that much unless I have to (like getting their attention in a crowded room or something)
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:05 am
It's not a fear, but I just don't normally address people when I talk to them. I just go in front of the person that I want to talk to and then start talking. My mum has to keep reminding me that it's rude to not address people before talking to them.
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 3:43 pm
kara_brewer its not really a fear, I just forget peoples names and get really embarrised at the idea of having to ask again for the fifth time so I usually fake it untill I hear enough people say their names for me to remember. even then I dont really use their names all that much unless I have to (like getting their attention in a crowded room or something) You're not alone. Though I usually try my best to remember names. I just imagine myself the names written on their foreheads. It worked several times, especially with the girls.
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:36 pm
Same problem here. Can't remember names and it takes me a while to get comfortable using them.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:15 am
I hardly ever call my best friend by his name, only comfortable adressing people by name when talking about them, cus otherwise people won't have a clue who I'm on about.
I have a fear of getting it wrong or something like that, it is something he and I are trying to work out.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:00 am
I'm the same way, to an extent. I hate doing this too, as I feel like I'm calling them out and they'll do the same to me. I hate it when people do that.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:20 am
Same way with me as well, usually leads to me not remembering the person's name.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:20 pm
I try to avoid usng people's names because I can never remember anyone's name. ^^;
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:09 pm
I can remember people's names fine, but I just don't call people by their name. It's not the way I talk.
No fear, no dread. I just don't do it.
Only once in a while I might say, "Hey, Austin!" but otherwise, nada.
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 2:37 pm
its kind of true for me too. i dont even like calling my boyfriend pet names out loud. i think with my voice it wouldnt seem right.
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Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:32 pm
In John Elder Robison's Book "Look Me In the Eye" (Great book for aspies and non-aspies alike, do read!) He talks about the fact that he has nicknames for most people, rather than calling them by their actual name.
This is actually rather common. I myself am notorious for calling people by a shortened version of their name (if I know them...)
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