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 Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:08 pm
Today I pretty much just lost it. Things have been crap for the last month, and it's getting too hard to handle. I've already been treated for depression, so I know I am screwed up in the head...I am just so tired. I'm so ashamed to tell people this because I have no real concrete reason for things going to crap. I feel like I am just whining for nothing. I hate feeling helpless and pathetic.
I am just in so much pain it is not funny. I can't talk to anyone, really...they just don't care. I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought long and hard today about the fact that maybe the world would be better off without me. Nobody would really care that much...I'm just not someone that people really care about. I've felt this way for a long time, and have tried and tried to shove it down, but it hasn't ever gone away. I'm sorry for ranting like this...I just don't know where else to go...
I don't want to die...I'm just tired of hurting.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:56 am
Dear, you will not hurt forever. I know the feeling you have, you just do not know why you feel the way you do. But have you really tried to talk to your close friends or family? And you really should not keep everything inside of yourself, it will haunt you, believe me. I just blame my bad luck pretty much on myself and that I was not born to be a favorite of the world. I do not mean to sound harsh or anything, but people who turn to suicide are selfish because they are taking away themselves and everything they have and could have to offer to the world and the people around them. I hope I make some sense.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:00 pm
You do make sense, I understand where you are coming from. I've tried talking but I don't think they really get it. They think it is just hormones or something. Today is a somewhat better day, so I have been able to calm down some and sort out my feelings. Thank you for listening.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:35 pm
I used to be in the same state, actually. <3 You need to do two things:
1. Find an outlet for your emotions (poetry, art, karate, something).
2. Find something to eat up your time.
Alot of times, feeling depressed and worthless has alot to do with what you yourself are doing in your freetime. An outlet for your emotions can be something that eats up all your free time, too. But yeah. I wouldn't choose anything that would be too stressful, but is still fun, nonetheless. Some of my outlets are Science Olympiad, art, and sewing. Being in a competition makes you feel really good 'cause you made a difference in the end, but it can be stressful.
Also! Another thing that'll make you feel totally awesome about yourself is community service--mainly, helping others head-on. Volunteer at a soup-kitchen, or baby-sit kids for free (from needy families), or just volunteer at places. The places will love you for it, and you'll feel amazing about yourself, because you know you directly impacted someone's life.
At first the idea of helping someone else when you're in need yourself sounds weird, but it really helps yourself, and makes all the difference in your life.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:22 pm
Laeluu I used to be in the same state, actually. <3 You need to do two things:
1. Find an outlet for your emotions (poetry, art, karate, something).
2. Find something to eat up your time.
Alot of times, feeling depressed and worthless has alot to do with what you yourself are doing in your freetime. An outlet for your emotions can be something that eats up all your free time, too. But yeah. I wouldn't choose anything that would be too stressful, but is still fun, nonetheless. Some of my outlets are Science Olympiad, art, and sewing. Being in a competition makes you feel really good 'cause you made a difference in the end, but it can be stressful.
Also! Another thing that'll make you feel totally awesome about yourself is community service--mainly, helping others head-on. Volunteer at a soup-kitchen, or baby-sit kids for free (from needy families), or just volunteer at places. The places will love you for it, and you'll feel amazing about yourself, because you know you directly impacted someone's life.
At first the idea of helping someone else when you're in need yourself sounds weird, but it really helps yourself, and makes all the difference in your life. That's a really good idea! I never thought about that before...thanks!
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 8:25 pm
You're welcome, doll. :3 <3
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:50 am
Don't say that. There are plenty of days when I feel that there's no point for me in this world.
But I do take my anger out in spoken word and poetry. <3;
Music even.
Sometimes it just gets really hard. Even to the point when you just want to give up. But even if you're living for only one person, it's still something.
And here, you wouldnm't be living for just one, or two, not even only three. We want to help you and I want you to know that everything will be okay.
Set your mind on a long term goal and try and stick to it. Say to yourself that there is someone there for you and there are people who care. Because I know I do. <33
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:16 am
Aarora Don't say that. There are plenty of days when I feel that there's no point for me in this world.
But I do take my anger out in spoken word and poetry. <3;
Music even.
Sometimes it just gets really hard. Even to the point when you just want to give up. But even if you're living for only one person, it's still something.
And here, you wouldnm't be living for just one, or two, not even only three. We want to help you and I want you to know that everything will be okay.
Set your mind on a long term goal and try and stick to it. Say to yourself that there is someone there for you and there are people who care. Because I know I do. <33 Thanks, Aarora! <3 It really helps that y'all listen to me. ^_^ Things are better, I'm still feeling down, but for a different reason: one of my pets is pretty sick and I don't know what's gonna happen with him. I'm really attached to him, and I am doing everything for I can, that has been my main focus as of late, trying to get him well. I'm hoping for the best though!
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:28 pm
Everyone feels this way at one time of their life or another, I also know the feeling )= It's hard to feel like your somewhere you don't belong, and the people around you can make things worse. Often I cry for no reason, just a sudden outburst, or react ot things most don't..people look at me, and I hear them.. "What's wrong with her?" "Why is she acting like that?" I feel lost..I'm searching for words, but nothing comes out. No one really cares about me either, I'm merely a "toy" to them, and it makes life nearly unbearable, I feel like I want to fade away from it all. As everyone else has suggested discover yourself, be innovative =) everyone has a hidden talent to share with the world! Open your eyes, don't hide in lonely corners, and empty hopes. Please don't allow other people get to you for it only yields misery, let their attempts be fruitless, and hold your head up high. I'd like to offer you a tactic you may try (works for me). When you feel that blanket of unsureness begin to envelope you, 'erase' it; take your thoughts to a place you enjoy the most, a secluded setting to which only you may enter, in this way you have the ability to confront the 'enemy' that haunts you. Throw up a barrier through which none shall pass, unless by your permitting them. Art is my 'realm' my 'window' that I seek for confort, find your 'window' and let your mind be freed from the torment of the current.I do wish you luck in this endeavor, and hope you discover your 'light' from within.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:32 pm
Aww. heart I hope your pet gets better. But it's good that you actually have a reason for being sad. o: <3 I hope things still go your way, hun. <3
Much loooove.
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