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****until i get done changing the grammar problems you should read it in the Un official Panic! guild****

these are the first two chapters.tell me what you think.i have to type out the third and i'll do that soon.enjoy biggrin and there are going to be typos so ignore them. and the first chapter's kind of boring,it's really just an introduction to everything.tell me what you think.

"You sent them off?"
"I sent them off."
Once again I was pestering Spencer about his college applications. Spencer and I were sitting outside Spencer's grandma's house (they were planning to use her living room as a practice space, luckily she was out right now) of waiting for Ryan. Earlier Spencer had called up an old friend of his, Brent Wilson, to see if he wanted to play bass in the band. Brent accepted right away and he was coming over to practice. Brent had also suggested a friend of his, ABrendon Oriento play guitar.
"I'm going to have curb dirt on my butt,” I laughed.
Spencer laughed.
"Where're Brent and Brendon?" I asked. I stood up and started pacing around Spencer.

"They said they'd be here at eleven,” Spencer said
I looked at my watch and said,” He’s two minutes late."
Spencer shot me a look. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue at him. Then Ryan came out of his house and across the street.
"Are they here yet?” he asked.
"No,” I answered.
Spencer and Ryan went inside to set up their instruments while I waited outside. About five minutes later a mini van pulled up in the driveway with Brendon in the drivers seat and Brent in the passengers. They got out.
"Nice of you guys to show up!"
"Yahweh decided to grace you with our presences,"Brendon said, scrunching up his face in a weird look.
"Nevermind, Jamie,"said Ryan, walking up from behind me.” She’s our non important groupie."
"Uh!" (Brendon and Brent laughed)
"Joking,” Ryan said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my shoulder.
He looked up at me (with his adorable big brown eyes) and said,” We love you."
I knew it wasn't mint as much, the hug was just a "I love you as a friend" way but in a way the hug was really...I don't know...intoxicating? Ryan smelled really good and it just made me feel so strange. I felt my face blush and my heart picked up it are pace. Ryan let go so I didn't have time to think about what it meant.
"Come on,” Ryan beckoned to Brent and Brendon.He led them inside and I followed
Spencer was sitting on his stool waiting paciently.Brendon and Brent slid on their guitars. (Ryan had copied down the guitar and bass parts so Brendon and Brent could know them earlier.)
"Okay,” Ryan said and they started playing.
"Watched your mouth your speeches is slurred enough that you might just swallow your tongue,” Ryan said, Brendon backed him up.
After the song was finished Ryan said,"Brendon sing something."
"What?"
"Anything."
Brendon started singing part of an Oasis song and he was good! We all watched Brendon as he vanished up the verse.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?"
"Redondo you want to sing from now on?” Ryan asked.” You’re a lot better than me, you really should."
Brendon looked at me, Spencer and Brent. The three of us nodded.
"Um....okay."

* * *
TWO WEEKS LATER
"So. This is our pure volume."
Spencer and I were staring at my computer screen. In the last two weeks, the band found a name- Panic! at the Disco and they created a live journal and purevolume.Brendon,Spencer,Ryan and Brent had also started sending links to their pure volume to Pete Wentz.Yep,the Pete Wentz;bassist and lyricist of Fall Out Boy.
"That is awesome,” I said.
Spencer started whirling around in the "spiny chair".
"Yeah, so all we need to do is get Pete Wentz to hear us and maybe sign us. Pete Wentz had his own imprint of Fueled by Ramen records, Decay Dance.
"Hey spin with me,” Spencer said.
"Spin with you?"
"Yeah."
Then Spencer grabbed me by the waist mid turn and pulled me down on his lap. Even though we slowed down Spencer was determined to go faster.
"Oh my god!" I laughed.
We must have been spinning there for five minutes, Spencers ' arms around my waist and me sitting in his lap.
"Hello?"
Brendon, Brent and Ryan appeared in the door way.
"What are you guys doing?" Brent asked.
"Nothing,” Spencer said. We had stopped spinning but we were still in the same positions.
They stared at us. I realized that I was in Spencer's lap and I guess he realized that two because we hopped up and got at least a yard away from each other.
"Pete Wentz replied,” Ryan said, getting to the point.
"NO WAY!" I screamed.
Spencer's mouth dropped open.
"Yeah!"Brent said.
Brendon held out a piece of paper.” There’s the letter. He listened to our pure volume and liked it. Now he wants to fly us out to Decay Dance."
Spencer took the letter; II leaned over Spencer's shoulder to read it too.
"Oh my god,” we said together.
"He's flying us out tomorrow,” Ryan said.” Jamie’s coming too."
I looked at Ryan.
"When Pete replied I said we might need five tickets...he didn't ask why and he gave us the extra ticket."
"YES!"
* * *

That night I was sitting on my windowsill in my pajamas when I heard shouts from across the street. A door slammed. I looked out my window. Ryan was walking out of his house; he must have had another fight with his dad. I grabbed my jacket and hurried out of the house, everyone else was asleep.
Ryan's father was an alcoholic. It didn't
help that even when Mr. Ross was sober he and Ryan didn't get along.
"Ryan!" I whispered loudly.
Ryan turned around.” Jamie?'
"It's me."
Ryan stepped closer and came into view under the street light.
"What're you doing?" he asked.
"Um...well...I heard you and...Your dad..."I answered.
Ryan grimanced."It's okay. Everyone in the world probably heard."
"What happened?''
"He doesn't agree with Panic! At the Disco."
I looked at Ryan.
"He thinks it's a waste of my time and I’m throwing my life away. It doesn't matter though I'm going anyway."
"Well, you should do what you want,” I said.” Where are you going to go?'
"Back,” Ryan said darkly.” I’ll just sneak back in. I don't want to bother Spencer's family."
I opened my mouth-"or yours."
"You wouldn't bother us!” I protested.
"Thanks anyway Jamie."
Silence. Why was I suddenly so aware that Ryan was so close? And again he smelled good! Dammit, what did he have on?
"Are you sure?'' I asked meekly.
Right then and there I thought I was falling in love with Ryan. But that was impossible...right?
"Yeah."
Ryan's voice was lower...he was so close too...he was staring at me...why was he staring at me??? And GOD what kind of cologne was he wearing?!?! Ryan’s eyes were a really prêt-WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!
RYAN WAS KISSING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Four

We got our luggage without any problems. Now all we had to do was find some sign of FBR.We walked around for about ten minutes (we stopped to get food,that airplane "food" looked nasty) and looked around.
"Hey! Look,I think that's us," Brendon said, pointing.
We all turned around to see what he was pointing at. There was a tall,skinny guy with somewhat of an afro holding a sigh that said Panic! At The Disco a few feet away.
"Well,how many Panic! At The Disco's are going to be at a Florida airport today?" Ryan asked,smirking at Bendon.
"Whatever,"Spencer said rolling his eyes."Let's go."
We picked up our bags and walked over to the man.
"We're Panic!" Spencer said.
"Great," the guy said. "I'm Patrick Kobane,come on." He beckoned at us to follow him.
Patrick took us out to a beaten up old Jeep.
"It's not the best...." He said looking embarassed.
"It's great," Brent said.
Spencer,Brendon,Ryan,Brent and I filed in,our bags sitting in our laps.About half an hour later Patrick pulled up to a small,white,one floor building with a sign out front that read Fueled By Ramen.
"This is it,"Patrick said.
We left our stuff in the car,someone would take us to a hotel later, and walked in.Unfortunatley,I was told I had to stay behind while Panic! and the guys at Fueled By Ramen/Decaydance went over legal/signing things. So I walked outside,found a bench,sat on it and became bored OUT OF MY MIND. I stared at my shoes,the grass,the surroundings,the people. This was not good. I slid down and lay on the bench. I will not go to sleep, I will not go to sleep....I thought over and over...But I was tired. I had hardly gotten any sleep last night, but what would happen if i fell asleep? I could get mugged or something.But i was SO tired.
"Uh...Can I sit there?"
I opened one eye. Some guy,with a really deep voice and long brown hair stood over me. He looked familiar....Did I know him?
"Sorry,"I said pulling myself up. "Sure,I was just tired." I yawned.
I looked at the guy again.Damn,he looked so familiar....He took his seat next to me and I picked at my fingernails. It was really annoying me...Where had I- OH MY GOD! I jumped up.The guy looked at me like I was a phsyco,he kind of looked scared.Like I would do anything to him!
"You're Mike Carden!!!!!" I said waving my finger at him.
"Yeah..." He looked more amused now than scared.
"Sorry I freaked out on you!" I said. "I just didn't know it was you!"
" It's okay."
"Ready to go?"
I looked behind me. William Backett was standing not even an inch away from me with Tom,Sisky, and the Butcher behind him.
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS WAS SO COOL!!!!! THE ACADEMY IS... wasn't even a foot away from me!THIS WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
"This is so cool!" I said. " I love you guys.You're awesome,I can't wait for the second album!"
"Thanks," Beckett said to me,grinning.He looked at Mike,"Ready?"
" Yeah," Mike said.
"Bye," they said.
"Bye," I said. OH MY GOD!!!!!!
Awhile later Spencer and the guys came out.
"I met The Academy Is...!!!!!!"
"Great," they all said. They could have been a little bit more enthusiastic!
"Oh,how'd it go for you?" I asked.
"We're signed,"Brendon said with a gigantic smile on his face.
"Now what?
"We make an album," Ryan said
For the next week i became Florida's number one tourist while Panic! at the Disco worked on who knows what. After another week I got tired of Florida and decided to go back home. The next day I was hugging Spencer,Brent,Brendon and Ryan goodbye and getting into a cab. I got in and waved at them,they did the same,before the taxi turned the corner.
*********************************************
1O MONTHS LATER...
I waded through the crowd to get backstage. A Fever You Can't Sweat Out,P!ATD's debut album, sold more than a million copies and now they were on a headlining tour with the Hush Sound and OK Go! My first semester had ended so Spencer had sent me a ticket and backstage pass to see them in Boston. Right now I was headed backstage. I got through the mass of bodies,past the security gaurds and backstage.
"Jamie!" I saw Spencer jogging towards me,his hair wet and in different clothes,like he had taken the world's fastest shower.
"Hey!" We hugged each other.
I looked at Spencer."Wow,you look so different!"
He did. Spencer had let his hair grow out some and he had lost a lot of weight. In fact he kind of looked hot. ARGH! Wait a minute,this was Spencer. My best friend Spencer, he couldn't be hot!
"You do too," he said,even though I don't think I did.( I had cut my hair off but that was it.)
"Where's everyone else?" I asked.,
"Still changing. Let me show you around."
So Spencer introduced me to their crew and the actors/dancers who had been on stage.
"This is Brian, our sound tech. Brian,this is Jamie."
"Hi," I said.
"So you're the famous Jamie? We've heard a lot about you," Brian said. I noticed Spencer blushed.
Brian was a short,stocky guy with dark brown hair, "Wanna try out some stuff?" he asked.
"Sure," I said.
I always wanted to produce but to get everything ready for a band to play live was amazing and a lot more exciting. So until Brendon,Ryan and Brent came I messed around with some equipment.
" She could do this everyday," Brian said to Spencer.
"I could?!"
"Yeah, I would hire you. Do you have a job or anything?"
"No."
This could be my perfect opprotunity. I didn't have anything to do this summer so why not?
"Do you want to?"
I looked at Spencer. He nodded. I thought about it some more....
"You know what? I will!" I said.
Brendon,Brent and Ryan came over.
"What's up?" Brendon asked.
Brian said," Jamie's the new sound technician for Panic! at the Disco."

TO BE CONTINUED

"You don't remember anything?" I asked
"No," Spencer said. "Could you not talk so loudly?"
"Oh sure." I dropped my voice to a whisper.
Of course the next morning Spencer had an ugly hangover. Luckily there wasn't a show scheduled so he got to lie around and recuperate. Brendon got up to get a Diet Coke from the mini fridge.
"You were soooooo drunk!" he whispered loudly in Spencer's ear when he sat back down.
Spencer threw a pillow at him.
I sighed and thought about last night. I was pretty sure Spencer was drunk enough not to be serious about all that stuff he said...and did. Plus, he was only a friend and I think if he liked me by now I would know right? Then there was a little fact called Hayley. But I wasn't totally convinced so I resulted to what I always do when I'm nervous: cleaning. I found a dish rag and some cleaner and started.
"Why're you cleaning?" Jon asked.
"It's what she does when she's nervous," Spencer replied for me.
"What do you have to be nervous about?" Brendon asked.
"Nothing," I replied hastily. "This place is just a pigsty and needs to be cleaned."
They looked at me.
"That's it. I swear!"
They still didn't look convinced.
Then Hayley the Horror, as I properly nicknamed her, came out of the back. Last night when I had finally gotten Spencer into his bunk and got him to fall asleep. Hayley had knocked on the door with a suitcase and stated that she was tagging along, only "for awhile" though. Now I was sentenced to sharing a "house" with her. Wonderful.
I groaned as I sprayed down the counter.
"What?" Spencer asked, Hayley now dutifully, but almost territorially, by Spencer's side on the couch.
"Oh...Nothing." I gave Spencer and Hayley a cheery but fake smile.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brendon smirk. Jon was trying to look preoccupied by his flip flop but he was smiling. I shot them both a look and went back to cleaning. The bus jolted forward some then jerked back, sending me flying off of my feet onto the ground since I had been standing. Everyone else went back too.
"What the fu-" I started to say.
Ryan got out of the drivers seat looking pissed.
"Somebody else drive," he said clearly irritated. "I can't take these idiot drivers anymore."
"I will," Jon said getting up and walking past Ryan.
When Jon started driving I gave up cleaning, my nervousness gone, and took a seat next to Ryan on the couch.
"Hey, are you too going out?" Hayley asked, looking at me.
"Me and-?"
"Ryan."
Oh lord, for a second I thought she meant me and Spencer. But, duh, she had meant me and Ryan. Stupid, why would she think Spencer and I were going out? She was going out with Spencer!
"No, we're just friends," I said.
"Why?" Ryan asked looking like he wished he was still in the driver's seat.
"You two look good together."
I looked at Hayley like she was crazy, which she probably was. I could feel the blood rushing to my face, I looked at Ryan, he was blushing too. Spencer groaned.
"No, we're just friends," I said thinking about what Ryan and Spencer were thinking about. "The Incident" a year ago.

A few hours later we stopped, ate and then went to sleep. Spencer and Hayley went outside to "talk" and Jon, Brendon, Ryan and I got ready to sleep. Fifteen minutes later we climbed into our "beds" (more like coffins but I'm willing to bet a coffin is bigger.)
I tried falling asleep and I was almost there when I heard screaming from outside then the door open and close. I yawned and got up to investigate. It was Spencer.
"Hey, Jamie, sorry I woke you up."
"No, you didn't," I said. "What happened outside?"
"Hayley and I had a fight."
"Did you break up?" What in the hell possessed me to ask that?!
"Yeah, she's leaving tonight."
"To bad."
"Hm."
I did a little dance on the inside. YES! Finally I was rid of her!!! This would be the happiest night of my life! Not really but almost.
"I'm going to sleep. You?" Spencer asked.
"Yeah," I replied turning back around to go to my bed. “‘Night!
"Goodnight."
The next morning I was the last one up and I could hear the guys talking at the table.
"You kissed Jamie?!" I heard Brendon say.
"Dreamt I kissed Jamie," Spencer corrected.
Sh-t I thought. They were talking about me. And about a thing they could live without knowing.
"When was it?" Jon asked.
"A few days ago," Spencer said. "When we went to that bar."
Silence.
“You started throwing up and Jamie told us to go on," Ryan said. "You really could have done that."
"No."
I heard something hit the table.
"I couldn't have done that!" Spencer exclaimed. "I said "I love you" too. But I couldn't have done that! Jamie's my best friend! I couldn't have!"
I heard Ryan sigh then Brendon said," Can't you two just admit you like each other?"
"I don't like her like that."
"Yes you do. She does too. Seriously, you should see the two of you when you talk. You're practically screaming "I love you and I want to date you!" at each other."
"I'm not in love with Jamie."
"Then you like her as more than a friend," Brendon said.
"What if I do like Jamie? Why would it matter?"
"See?! You do!" Ryan shouted.
"Shut up!" Spencer said. "She'll wake up!"
Ha ha ha.
"I don't. At least I don't think I do. I mean she's my best friend. How am I supposed to know if I love her...like that?"
"Do you like her or love her?" Jon asked.
"Really like," Spencer admitted.
My eyes got wide and I could feel my facing burning red. No way. I was me...and Spencer was Spencer. He couldn't like me. He must be mistaken.
"You do you her as more than a friend?!" Ryan.
"ARGH! Yes...." Spencer said with a sound of defeat in his voice.
Ryan, Jon and Brendon then burst out into cheers.
"I knew you did!"
"Awesome!"
"Alright!"
I lay there thinking. Spencer liked me. Liked me liked me. Oh God. I thought about it. Did I like him too? I had been irratated out of my mind by Hayley...I didn't have a real reason to dislike her either...I had been happy when she left and they broke up. I thought farther back. When Spencer was sic I'd visit him as soon as I got home from school. During school we were inseparable, anywhere else as well. I worried about him. I laughed with him. I cried with him ect., ect. But did that equal love or like like or just a friendship? AH!!! This was too confusing.
"You should ask her out," I heard Jon say.
"But she doesn't like me that way," Spencer answered with certainty.
How would he know? I could.....Did I? Hayley was annoying. She was gone. I was happy. I had thought Spencer was hot. Not seeing Spencer made me not as happy as I would have been if I had seen him. Every guy, okay really on about five, guy I dated wasn't good enough compared to Spencer. I always compared them to Spencer. If they weren't like Spencer it was "good bye". Did that mean Spencer was my perfect guy? No...right? I just wanted someone like him, not him. Right. I couldn't possibly like my best frie-
"OW!"
In the middle of my thoughts I had rolled off my bunk and onto the floor. And oh how it hurt.
Jon, Brendon, Spencer and Ryan rushed over.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah..."
Oh well, at least I had made an impressive awakening.
To be continued....

The next day I confined myself to my room. I didn’t eat or sleep, I just lay in my bed listening to the Beatles.
Sometime around noon Ryan and Brendon showed up.
“Jamie.” Ryan said.
“What?”
“Get out of bed.”
“Why?”
“Because you can’t stay in bed for the rest of your life,” Brendon said.
“Yes I can,” I said.
Ryan yanked my covers off of the bed.
“Come on!” Ryan said, pulling me up. “You have to go see Spencer.”
My stomach churned. “I don’t want to see him!” I said.
“Spencer’s miserable too,” Brendon said.” Just see each other and get it over with.”
“Jamie,” Ryan said. “Spencer and Hayley are not dating. That’s done. Hayley showed up unexpectedly, I guess she wanted him back or something. Anyway they’e not dating.”
“I don’t care if they’re dating or not,” I said. Liar, Liar a voice said in my head.
“Then go see him!” Brendon said.
“No.”
“God, it’s so obvious you two are in love with each other. Just make up already!”
“I am not in love with him!” Not love, just like.
Ryan sat down on my bed. “Come on, just see him.”
I didn’t answer.
“See him or we’ll bring him to you.”
“Fine.”
I got up and they went down stairs. I threw on an oversized Linkin Park shirt and some pants then went to meet my doom.
We went next door. Brendon, Ryan and I greeted Spencer’s mom and then went upstairs. Brendon knocked on the door then went in. Ryan walked in and I reluctantly followed.
Spencer was lying on his bed reading a book. He looked up at Ryan then Brendon and finally me. His eyes widened and he blushed a little.
“Hey,” he said.
“Spencer, we’re sick of you and her,” Brendon pointed to me.”- not talking. Now make up.”
Ryan and Brendon left the room. I stood there and Spencer sat up.
“Well,” he said looking at the ground.
“Yeah,” I said sitting next to him
“Jamie…”
“I’m only staying up here until they think we made up. I really don’t feel like talking to you.”
Stupid pride! This was killing me.
“Jamie….”
I ignored him.
“Nothing happened with Hayley,” Spencer said.
I snorted.
“Okay okay, but she kissed me. I don’t even know why you’re pissed of about this. I should be pissed at this, not you.”
“I saw you kissing her!” I exploded. “Who wouldn’t be surprised?! And, did it ever occur to you that I might-“ s**t. I shut my stupid mouth.
“What?” Spencer asked.
Spencer said he liked me roughly four months ago. A lot could happen in four months. What if he didn’t like me anymore? Then, here I was wrecking a life long friendship.
“Spencer, I’m stupid, okay?”
“Jamie, you’re not stupid.”
“Yes I am. I’m wrecking this friendship because of something stupid and pointless. I’m really sorry.”
“No, I’m really sorry,” Spencer said.
I got up and I hugged him. Honestly I wished I didn’t have to let go ^^ ‘ but I did.
Spencer looked at me. “Jamie are you okay? You look strange.”
Ooops.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Sure?”
“Yes!” I laughed,
“Okay.”
Ha ha I got away with it.
* * *
Later that night Spencer and I were sitting at an outside table of some restaurant waiting for Ryan and Brendon
.
“Where could they be?” I asked no one in particular while I drummed my fingers on the table.
“I have no clue,” Spencer said.
Then the waitress came.
“Aw, what a cute couple!” she said.
I blushed hard. Spencer turned red too.
“We’re not-“
“We’re just friends,” I said.
“Oh sorry,” she said. “You two just look like you’re going out. What can I get you?”
We both ordered Diet Coke.
“That was funny,” Spencer said, trying to laugh but looking so nervous.
Unfortunately at the time I took that as some sort of sign. A voice in my head said “F*ck it! Tell him!”
“Spencer I like you!” I blurted out.
Spencer looked like he was having a heart attack. Dammit.
“Really?!”
“Uh…yeah…” I said, now admiring the fake marble table. My stupid mouth…
“Jamie…I like you too.”
“Still?!”
“Still?’’
“I heard you guys talking on the tour bus awhile ago.”
“Oh…”
“So we like each other…”
“Yeah.”
Obviously neither of us was good at this. Then Spencer got up, knocking his chair down in the process, and kissed me.
“Do you wanna go somewhere after this?” Spencer asked. “Alone?”
“Sure,” I said in shock. Was this really happening to me?
Spencer went back and picked up his chair. I spotted Ryan and Brendon inside the restaurant, walking outside. Boy, did we have something to tell them!