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 Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:19 pm
I’ve been having writer’s block for a while and it’s been driving me nuts. Today, inspired by my writer’s block, I came up with this. A character came to me with the same problem, and now I think I’m over it. What do you think? I love constructive criticism. See slightly revised version in second post.
I hate it! she thought. The constant rebellion of my characters! Talk to me, damn it! Tell me your story. Please.
She sat in bed, bent over a blank notebook page, one hand clutching a pencil, the other massaging her eyebrows. It had been weeks since she had written a word. The stories just wouldn’t come to her. Her characters were silent.
The door opened and a man wearing silk pajamas and a robe stepped into the room carrying a candle. “Danielle, don’t you think you ought to go to bed now? It’s nearly 1:00 and you’ve been staring at that notebook for hours.”
Damn, she thought. It’s 1:00 AM and I have to be up by six in the morning.
“Danielle . . . ?”
“I’m sorry, Uncle. I’ll, I’ll go to bed.”
She placed her notebook and pencil on her nightstand and turned off the lamp. “Goodnight, Uncle,” she said.
“Goodnight, Danielle.” He turned, and the light in Danielle’s room from his candle faded as he walked down the hall to his bedroom.
Danielle waited until the she heard his door closed and then flicked her lamp back on. She wondered what was wrong with her. What could she have possibly done to have offended her characters so that they wouldn’t talk to her?
She took her notebook and pencil from the nightstand. Placing the tip of her pencil on the paper, she let her hand do what it wanted. She looked down. Lines. Lines on blank paper.
What is a word, if not lines on blank paper? she thought. She looked once more at the scribbles she had allowed her hand to draw. A word is nothing, it’s the story behind it. The realization came to her. It wasn’t her words that had held magic, it was the feelings, the stories. She smiled, placing her pencil on the paper once more. Now, she thought, I can write.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 9:38 pm
This was a very quick revision based on a critique that gave some valuable advice. I fixed a somewhat time period confusion era having to do with electricity vs. candle-light. More importantly, I was told that the issue that I resolved at the end, wasn't the problem to begin with. So, I added a bit. What do you think? Writer’s Block
I hate it! she thought. The constant rebellion of my characters! Talk to me, damn it! Tell me your story. Please.
She sat in bed, bent over a blank notebook page, one hand clutching a pencil, the other massaging her eyebrows. It had been weeks since she had written a word. The stories just wouldn’t come to her. Her characters were silent.
The door opened and a man wearing silk pajamas and a robe stepped into the room carrying a candle. “Danielle, don’t you think you ought to go to bed now? It’s nearly 1:00 and you’ve been staring at that notebook for hours.”
Damn, she thought. It’s 1:00 AM and I have to be up by six in the morning.
“Danielle . . . ?”
“I’m sorry, Uncle. I’ll, I’ll go to bed.”
She placed her notebook and pencil on her nightstand and blew out the lamp. “Goodnight, Uncle,” she said.
“Goodnight, Danielle.” He turned, and the light in Danielle’s room from his candle faded as he walked down the hall to his bedroom.
Danielle waited until the she heard his door closed and then relit her lamp. She wondered what was wrong with her. What could she have
possibly done to have offended her characters so that they wouldn’t talk to her?
She took her notebook and pencil from the nightstand. Placing the tip of her pencil on the paper, she let her hand do what it wanted. She looked down. Lines. Lines on blank paper.
What is a word, if not lines on blank paper? she thought. She looked once more at the scribbles she had allowed her hand to draw. A word is nothing, it’s the story behind it. The realization came to her. It wasn’t her words that had held magic, it was the feelings, the stories.
“Now you’ve got it,” a voice said from the end of her bed.
Danielle blinked, surprised, and looked up. A very petite girl was sitting cross-legged at the end of her bed, wearing a dark leather tunic and petting a tiny monkey that was sitting on her shoulder.
Danielle smiled, placing her pencil on the paper once more. Now, she thought, I can write.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:55 pm
Wow, I really like that. I noticed, though, that you forgot the italics in your second draft. Just FYI. Other than that, great job. Keep up the awesome work.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 6:12 pm
Oh, thank you, I missed that. Also, I haven't seen you around here before. Welcome.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 7:03 pm
Thanks. And, uh, you're welcome.
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:16 am
I was gunna question that as well, Uncle walks in with a candle yet she turns on her lamp... very suspicious ninja . But yeah I liked it. The MC was very passionate about getting something down, and the over all story is truthful for a lot of us (more like me for the past 10 months)
It was quick and simple and it's meaning/message was made very clear.
xd
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:59 pm
This is a really good story, and unfortunatly one I can relate to... I hate writer's block.... There's just two tiny things that bugged me:
"It’s nearly 1:00 and you’ve been staring at that notebook for hours.”
Shouldn't 1:00 be spelled out? You know, "one o'clock"? My teacher usually screams at me when I have a character say "1:00" instead of "one o'clock", so I think it might be a rule, I'm not sure though.
She placed her notebook and pencil on her nightstand and out the lamp.
You forgot a word, I think O.o;.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:37 pm
Thanks for the critique! I'm not sure if the o'clock thing is a rule or personal preference. I've seen it both ways in published works. I'll look it up.
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:51 pm
I think we all know how this feels at some point or another, and you expressed it well. smile I hope you're over your block, you appear to have talent and a nice style.
Also, I believe the o'clock thing is, technically, a matter of preference. Although it's mostly considered to be more classy (or something) to use o'clock instead.
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:38 pm
I agree with Korokiri.
Most, if not all, writers have been (or will) through writer's block. This story tells in a very unique way what the experience is like, and how it feels to overcome it. I felt happy for Danielle at the end.
Good job.
And yeah I'm pretty sure the time thing is personal preference. I do prefer to spell it out usually, just cause I hate seeing the numbers in the middle of words for some reason. But it also depends on the circumstance of the story, etc.
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