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 Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:55 pm
I guess it's high time I get this over with...there's no sense in procrastinating. I have to get over my being so touchy about showing people my writing.
Begrudgingly-
__
Descent
The breaking point between what's real
and what isn't-
The fine lines between
what's right
and what's wrong
too blurred with the aftershock.
Staring off into a night more smoke than sky,
trying to figure out where things came undone...
I am not insane,
merely,
I have lost my way.
Minutes, hours, days-
all wasted.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:45 pm
It was really good! I really liked the second stanza and thought that was your strongest part. The beginning for some reason wasn't as strong as the rest of the poem, probably because it was the longest. However, your ending was unusually strong, which I think made up for it. Well done!
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 9:18 am
I really enjoyed this. I liked the way you implyed that right and wrong were blurred. I'm not sure what aftershock, it's kind of vauge regarding that, but otherwise.... Good job. smile
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