It’s hard to love something as ugly as me.
Who said beauty was on the outside?
Maybe it was the high school lots and park benches;
but those never see us at night.

We tried that simple thing called lust
Wrapped up in phone calls and sheets
'Til we twisted sexuality and found feeling
Like children with a new toy

Uncontrolled the spiral weaved us
Sink water we were; dirty under the clear
Draining into a black hole called trust
Believe of course we do no harm

You can lie to me to keep it the same
And I’ll drip your words into my veins
Haven’t we been here before?
A game with different names and faces

White pastry; daintily I ate you
With the ceremony of a funeral
Leave me the tarnished icing sweetie
Cause your cake makes me gag

Fulfilling that fantasy of pain
We are all begging to hurt
With friends becoming more
I crossed you double hun

Still it ached its disdain; your cherish
How you love that old dog you lay with
Rag doll tattered seams; like movie trailers
Never with the appropriate ending


I just want the chance to be me,
Without you.
Like that memory of third grade,
When it was all about winning.