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 Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2005 8:51 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:16 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 11:54 am
It was really good at the beginning, and you have great punctuation, but the momentum kind of died at the end. You stopped the rhythm scheme you used in the second paragraph which I think is part of the reason. Still, it was very good and had a lot of very good lines and lots of emotional appeal. Good job!
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