He's my bestfriend and I've known that I loved him for quite some time now but often wonder why I even bother. When I first said I had feelings for him he ignored it. But then we were dared by another friend to kiss each other, He said that we shouldn't, we were friends and it might ruin our relationship. That was a few months ago in December, yet he kissed me about three weeks ago and said that he wanted to know what it would be like. That was only my second kiss and it felt so right to me.
I later asked what it meant, what did he think of my feelings for him, he smiled and said that it's a crush and I'd get over it soon enough and we'd both laugh about it later.
We've been friends for two years and I have been feeling like this the whole time but didn't know what the feeling was. I realized it when I walked into our martial arts class one day saw him and then it hit me like a punch to my stomach. Thank god for my Sensei who is a great guy, when he realized my distresse he helped me fake sick to go home early, when I got home I fell on my bed and cried for an hour. It hurt so bad and I had to skip school the next day because I just couldn't face him.
After I realized it I have been losing sleep and I can't seem to focus on anything, all my old hobbies are being neglected because I just can't focus long enough. My friends have told me that I'm not as much fun to be around cause I seem lost half the time. Like I'm there but my mind is in another place. It's scaring me that I feel this strongly and I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't talk to my family because they are always making fun of me and him and never take me seriously. My other friends say that I am too young to know what love is and I'm just being over dramatic, (I'm 16 I believe in love at a young age because I know couples that are married with kids that have been "sweethearts" since middle school.)
The day he kissed me I felt it EVERYWHERE. It took me a while to come back to reality and I'm not sure what he felt but he was dazed for a second afterwards.
He has asked me to wait until the end of the school year in about 7 more weeks, and that then he would take me on a date, but the other day he said that he saw me as a sister to one of his family members...then he explained it to me saying that he didn't want his family "assuming" things about me since we were always together...
I go to his house after school and martial arts class so I'm there 3 days out of the week, most of the time his other friends are there but we are also there alone a lot. We flirt shamelessly and tease each other without mercy, he is my best friend and I can't lose him, that would kill me.
I was talking with him today and our conversation had drifted to sex, he said something like I am interested. I replied with then why have you never tried before, he looked lost for a second and told me that he honestly didn't know why and would I let him if he did, my dad showed up so I never got to answer, but if he ever tried I might just let him...(need advice on this part as well let him or not?)
I don't want to lose him, yet I don't want to wait any longer...so what should I do
Should I wait for him and not question why he said that or should I be up front and ask him what he truly feels for me? Keep in mind he has also promised to take me on a date in about 6 more weeks, but I really don't want to wait that long for us to be together...
The only one who has enough of me to break my heart
